Qingming·Missing Mother

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Pain is quietly getting used to

Memory is also slowly being cut

I have always known it and have never forgotten it

That far away Those who have gone, look down from a distance

2. The years are as silent as before

That day was like the past years

In the morning, my mother was counting the doors. Feeding chickens and ducks in front of the house

At noon, the mother was still thinking about how to dry the rapeseed at home in the afternoon. The mother sat in front of the door and answered the phone and told her daughter that she felt better than in previous years< /p>

At night, the mother asked her granddaughter to get her face wash... Later, the mother felt uncomfortable and wanted to vomit.

The father brought a basin, and the mother vomited all the food she had eaten at night. In the group of relatives on WeChat, everyone said that she might have caught a cold. Everyone handed out red envelopes and rushed to fight

3. At midnight, the voice "Your mother is gone" spread to the distance through her father's phone call

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Panic and grief spread subsequently

My stomach was spasming, my whole body was shaking, and I was speechless

In the night sky here, my mother’s figure floated

She came from the fields and from the pine forest

She got up in the moonlight and returned home in the wind and rain

4. The year I was admitted to college

My mother walked more than 30 miles of mountain road alone to the temple and prayed to the Bodhisattva

My mother said that the Bodhisattva there was the most spiritual

As she wished, I Admitted to a university thousands of miles away

I left my mother and my hometown

My mother and I are getting further and further apart

5. I want to get married

My father took my mother on a train ride for a day and a night. When she came, she handed me a box of eggs

During the wedding, the emcee asked my mother to say a few words of blessing. At that time

My mother said in her native voice: "Have a good life"

No one understood, but I understood

6. I am the first The night when my first child was born

My mother was in her hometown, lighting incense candles and praying all the time

A few days before her death, my mother was still thinking about my second child who was about to be born

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But now, there are still two months left, and she can’t wait any longer

7. That year, her mother had a fall in Guangdong

The doctor was with her Six steel nails were inserted into her lumbar spine

She gritted her teeth and got on a plane with her father to see me for the first time

I went to the airport to pick her up and saw my mother walking tremblingly. Jing's look

I know that my mother is old and will never be able to go back to her former self

8. Several times, my mother and I chatted about what happened after death. topic

Every time at this time, I felt inexplicably sad

I looked for a different topic

Later, my mother wanted to go home

When leaving, she said: "Thousands of miles away, you have to take care of yourself"

9. My mother never looked at me again

In the past few years, those six steel Nails tormented her

Every year during the Chinese New Year, my mother would often shed tears when she saw us

After the Spring Festival, we had to leave

She leaned on The stick looked at our backs as we left home from a distance, but we never looked back

10. The plane was flying at high altitude, 30,000 feet above the ground

I think if a person wants to die Ascending to the sky

At this moment, I am closest to my mother

The shape of the white clouds outside the plane window is like the ghost of my mother

Silent and heavy, following me closely, but Never spoke

11. We took planes and buses

There were people everywhere, those rushing crowds

What were they busy about?

As I get closer and closer to home, my tears begin to flow continuously

Mother, we are back, back

Just like when you were a child, you Calling for the frightened me

12. At dusk, we arrived home

My father squatted there, relatives gathered around him

Orange The sunset smeared all over my body

My father said in a hoarse voice, go see your mother

My face was blank

13. Mother was lying on the bed In the ice coffin, it was peaceful and quiet

Her relatives said that she seemed to be sleeping

Her father looked at it and choked up: "She held my hand tightly, and then After lying down, my lips turned purple.

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The sisters cried and said that my mother often complained about me not calling home

I did not cry or shed tears

I let out a sigh , but my heart aches

Mother, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, it will eventually pass away

After kneeling down to worship my mother, I walked out of the ancestral hall

It suddenly rained heavily, just like my mother's chanting

14. One year, I came home

My mother said that she and my father had already discussed buying a coffin

We didn’t speak, but the years passed in silence Interpretation

Today, the coffin purchased by my mother before she died is placed there

I nestled next to the coffin and looked at my mother quietly

15. In front of the house The pond glowed brightly in the rain

The chickens and ducks in the yard also returned to their coops, feeling sleepy

The heavy rain hit the cucumber vines next to the house, and the dead leaves fell into the water. Ditch

The dog at home leaned on the threshold and could no longer hear his mother’s call

16. The next day, my father invited a Feng Shui master to choose a dog for my mother. A cemetery

The cemetery was chosen not far from where my grandfather was buried, overlooking the distant mountains

The loess was yellow and the sky was pure blue

My father said that this cemetery is very good. , just right next to him

I was indifferent, a surge of sadness

Flying insects were flying in the fresh cemetery, and smoke was rising from the village not far away

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17. At the moment when the mother died, the children she raised were not around

She was accompanied by her father, who had been quarreling with her all her life

And at that moment, she also She didn’t say goodbye to her father

Perhaps when she held her father’s hand tightly, she was already making final wishes

18. The wind suddenly picked up and swept the dead leaves under the scorching sun.

We held our mother's coffin

Marching on the road she had walked countless times

Weeping all the way, feeling sad

The raindrops were accompanied by thunder, like my mother’s reluctant tears, falling on my face

When I arrived at the cemetery where my mother was buried, the sun shone like gold on the world again

It rained all day Sunny, the world is clear

19. After sending my mother up the mountain

The eldest sister divided the pajamas my mother wore before she died into equal parts

Let us put them separately In my own home

I put the share I got into my trouser pocket

I always feel that my mother’s breath is following me

And wherever I go, she screams Mother

20. The next day, by the pond

We gathered together the clothes my mother wore before she was alive

A fire burned her life

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The remaining ashes are washed away by a night rain

Life is like a dream, the east begins to be milky white again