In life, we often have the desire to be left behind. Life only falls off, and then there is a different transformation and a new turning point. Japanese writer Jing Shangjing thinks that he is a quitter, that is, the image of quitter, quitter or abandoned person in life. In his works, historical figures are often those who are down and out, and they are inevitably accompanied by loneliness. In order to get rid of loneliness, they have to find a new place to belong. So, sometimes, giving up is another gain, a new refuge.
The modern poet Feng Zhi has a sonnet "What can fall from us?" , is my favorite. The poem says that we all let it turn to dust: we arrange us in this era, like trees in autumn, one after another; Give the leaves and some flowers that are too late to the autumn wind, let the trees open and extend to the severe winter; We arranged for us to be in nature, like a fallen cicada moth, throwing all the residual shells into the mud; We have arranged that the future death is like a song, which falls off from the music.
In the end, only the body of music is left, silently turning into a vein of green hills. This poem is the second of 27 sonnets written by Feng Zhi in 194 1, which is called meditation poem. Poetry expresses thoughts on the eternal law of human death and change with the help of dust, trees and songs. This is a comprehensive understanding of human death and a statement of human existence. Only through shedding and transformation can life reach a higher level, as Feng Zhi said, turning into a silent vein of green hills.
Talking about the writing of these poems, Feng Zhi once said that in the most depressed years in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, I relied on the simple vilen to provide me with unlimited spiritual food. When the common phenomenon in society tends to decay, any grass on the ridge and any tree on the hillside give me a lot of inspiration. Feng Zhi was once praised by Lu Xun as the most outstanding lyric poet in China. On the artistic road of pursuing truth and belief, Feng Zhi and Mu Dan wrote the best poems that could be written in their time.
But I pay more attention to the spirit expressed in poetry and the ideological height achieved. The theme expressed in his historical novel Wu Zixu can be regarded as an extension of his poetic theme. Wu Zixu's life, like the fall of an object, has a moment's pause and fall. Life is a chain of staying and falling, because a beautiful life, whether for love, for hate, for life or for death, is tantamount to such a throw: persist in staying and overcome in falling. We saw Wu Zixu in ancient times. His father and brother were killed, and he was forced to wander. With a great desire for revenge, he wandered all the way and met many people. These people had different influences on his revenge and caused his different feelings and experiences. This is a choice of revenge, which has been tested in a series of situations and is a subject of constant revision and selection. In Feng Zhi's works, Wu Zixu is described as an existential hero under the proposition of selective philosophy. Perhaps, this is also the process of constant confusion and cracking of Feng Zhi's own life.
Only when life falls, can we deny ourselves and get promoted in denial. In his later years, Feng Zhi wrote a poem "Autobiography": In the 1930s, I denied my 1920s poems; In the fifties, I denied the creation of the forties; In the sixties and seventies, I said that everything in the past was wrong; In the 1980s, I regretted and denied too many things, so I denied the negatives of the past. All my life, I have lived in denial, even if there is affirmation in the negation of negation.
What should we affirm and deny? In the 1990s, I had to wake up, so I realized that the most rare thing in life is self-knowledge. Of course, Feng Zhi himself could not be detached from his time. In the desolate years, he also suffered from internal injuries. He once criticized Ai Qing against his will and felt deeply guilty. After the Cultural Revolution, he said with deep feelings that the ten-year catastrophe could not be simply attributed to the Gang of Four, but was the responsibility of all China. He felt that his rough life was an unfinished self.
Therefore, his mental journey is undoubtedly a rare inspiration for us to reflect on people's modern characteristics, especially to deeply understand ourselves. 1980, the painter Gao Mang painted a big portrait for Feng Zhi's 75th birthday. He wrote a poem on the painting, saying that time makes people feel heavier at dusk, and the old skin falls off and feels lighter. Even in his later years, he is constantly shedding himself, pursuing the feeling of losing his old skin and feeling light. So I think his spiritual pursuit represents the height that modern China intellectuals can reach.
Among the sonnets, there is a poem praising Goethe. Goethe is the soul tutor of Feng Zhi's poems, and he is the most admired and studied person in his life. In this poem, Goethe's life is also constantly falling off, transforming and sublimating. Feng Zhi wrote that it seems that the universe is running there alone, but it has never stopped. No matter the ups and downs or sunny days, new vitality is evolving at any time and place; Get new health from serious illness and new nutrition from desperate love.
At the end of the poem, do you know why moths put out the fire and why snakes take off their old skins and grow? Everything is enjoying your famous saying, which tells the meaning of all life: death and change. Yes, death and metamorphosis are unavoidable laws of all things in the world, especially life. Feng Zhi wrote in another poem that how many things are around us requires us to make new discoveries: don't feel that everything is familiar, touch your hair and skin when you die, but have doubts: Whose body is this?