1. Over the wedding ceremony - the man's family will ask a fortune teller to calculate whether the two parties will cooperate with each other based on the age and gender of both men and women
2. Over the wedding - usually before the wedding It takes one month to two weeks. The parents of both men and women have negotiated all the conditions for the marriage. The man's family will send a betrothal gift (commonly known as a wedding ceremony or tea ceremony) to the woman's family in accordance with the agreed conditions. On the day, the man's family will invite two or four women. Relatives (they must be well-off people, that is, they have husbands, children, parents-in-law, and parents), together with the matchmaker, bring bride price, gifts and a large number of gifts to the woman's home. Usually, the gifts used include gift cakes, gift money, gifts, etc. The quantities are all in even numbers, which means pairs.
3. Choosing a date - The groom's family asks a fortune teller to choose a good and auspicious day to get married, so that the proposal will go smoothly and the two will be harmonious.
4. Carrying dowry——In addition to expensive jewelry and gold ornaments, there are many things that symbolize good omens in the dowry. Use a spittoon as a bucket for children and grandchildren, hoping that your daughter will blossom and your family will be full of children and grandchildren. Using a red ruler as a ruler for descendants means fertile fields and vast hectares of fertile land; a vase represents blooming flowers and wealth; a copper plate and shoes represent growing old together; a silver bag and a leather belt represent a waist wrapped around 10,000 hectares of land; scissors represent butterflies flying together; dragon and phoenix quilts and sheets A pair of pillows are used to wish the couple a loving relationship; a piece of candy symbolizes sweetness and happiness; dragon and phoenix bowls and chopsticks are used as food and clothing bowls, which means abundant food and clothing (a letter of profit is placed in the bowl, which can replace 72 sets of clothes in the dowry).
5. Bed Setting - On the auspicious days before the wedding, the good luck lady will place the new bed in an auspicious position for the couple, then spread it with a dragon and phoenix quilt, and sprinkle red and mung beans, Lotus seeds, red dates, longans, walnuts and other happy fruits. After the bed is installed, the newlyweds are not allowed to sleep in the new bed. Pregnant women, those with filial piety, and women who are menstruating are not allowed to enter. In addition, after setting up the bed, the children should be allowed to jump on the bed and eat the happy fruit, which in ancient times was called "bed press", which means to spread branches and leaves.
6. Shangtou——The Shangtou ceremony is held on the night before or on the day of the wedding. The Shangtou ceremony symbolizes that the newlyweds have officially entered the adult stage, want to form a new family, and shoulder the mission of spreading branches and leaves. It is necessary to choose a good time. The man is half an hour earlier than the woman. Both men and women need to take a bath first and be greeted by a "good luck" person (commonly known as a good luck man/good luck woman), who is the elder of the man and woman's family, including his parents, children, etc. Those who are still alive and harmonious as husband and wife) use pomelo water to wash their bodies (it is said that pomelo leaves can wash away impurities). Afterwards, they put on brand new underwear and pajamas, sit against a window where they can see the moon, and have their hair combed by the "lucky guy" or "lucky lady". The bride's hair will be combed into a bun to signify her entry into adulthood after becoming a woman. While combing their hair, the "lucky man" or "lucky woman" should say auspicious rhyming sentences, such as "One comb to the end, two combs to white hair to the eyebrows, three combs to fill the floor with children and grandchildren, four combs to the end." The four silver bamboo shoots are in perfect harmony." The meaning is to wish the newlyweds a happy marriage. Finally, the "good luck guy" or "good luck lady" needs to tie the cypress and red head rope on the groom's or bride's head to complete the ceremony. Since it is a ritual for parents to bless their children, it is taken more seriously.
7. Entrance——After arriving at the groom’s house, the bride is supported by Da Jin and enters the groom’s house. A charcoal-burning brazier (either copper or iron) will be placed outside the door threshold. The bride needs to step over the brazier. This is called "crossing the brazier", which means prosperity and exorcism. Next is the worship ceremony, which is divided into three steps. The first is to worship heaven and earth, the second is to worship ancestors, and the third is to worship family aunt Weng. After worshiping heaven and earth and kneeling before the ancestors, the newlyweds will kowtow to the groom’s parents. The bride will offer fragrant tea to the family members and aunts, and then they will go to the elders one by one according to their generation and age. When serving tea, whether you kneel down or not depends on the preferences of both parties. After kneeling down to worship their parents, the newlyweds will bow to each other. Sister Dajin will continue to say some auspicious words. After bowing to each other, the ceremony will be completed. Two red dates and lotus seeds are usually placed in the fragrant tea used by newlyweds, which symbolizes the good omen of having a baby early. After the new family member, aunts and elders drink the bride's cup of tea, they will give gold bracelets, jade and other jewelry as a meeting gift to the new daughter-in-law. They will also put a cup of fragrant tea on a tray (commonly known as a "betel nut box"). The bonus is a reward from Sister Dajin.
8. Going out - the bride needs to be supported by the bridesmaid or eldest sister and hold a red umbrella, which means branches and leaves are spreading. Other sisters must also scatter rice, red, mung beans, and gold paper shreds while walking. , commonly known as "feeding the golden rooster", which is said to prevent the golden rooster from pecking the bride. Before getting on the float, the bride should bow to her relatives and friends to show her gratitude. It must be noted that the person who accompanies the bride to the groom’s house must be an unmarried woman, except Sister Dajin.
9. Return home after three dynasties - most newlyweds now choose the same day to save time. Returning home, that is, after the newlyweds have worshiped heaven and earth at the husband's house and served tea to the aunt, they will immediately perform the returning home ceremony, and then return to the groom's house or go directly to the restaurant. The newlyweds can also return home the next day, but they must not exceed On the third day, it means that the groom’s family is dissatisfied with the bride and does not allow the bride to return to her parents’ home. Nowadays, most of the gifts at home are replaced by red chips, but suckling pigs are an exception.
Homecoming gifts: 1. (delivered to the girl’s house from the boy’s family):
One golden pig, two boxes of cakes, two bottles of wine, a pair of raw chickens, a pig Two kilograms each of tripe and pork, two baskets of fruits (representing vigor and vitality), head lettuce (popular), green onions (loose and loose), two boxes of noodles (representing affection), and two heads and tails of sugar cane.
Wedding Taboos
Newlyweds hold weddings in accordance with traditional wedding customs. In fact, there are some taboos that we should pay attention to:
1. On the wedding day, when the bride goes out, her sister-in-law We can't send each other off because [sister-in-law] has the same pronunciation as sweeping star, which is unlucky. The bride's clothes should not have pockets when going out, so as not to take away her family's wealth.
2. Before the wedding is over, no one is allowed to sit on the new bed, and the bride is not allowed to lie down, lest she will be sick in bed all year round.
3. The bride must wear new shoes on her wedding day, which means throwing away old things.
4. When the bride goes out, she must wear earrings to show her obedience. Those who do not have pierced ears can wear clip-on earrings.
5. If any of the elders of the couple have passed away, when serving tea, the tea served by the couple should be placed where he or she should sit. After the tea is served, the tea served by the couple should be moved. Stool and seat the next person.
The ceremony
The most solemn engagement ceremony takes place approximately fifteen to twenty days before the wedding. The groom's family chooses an auspicious day and sends gifts and various gifts to the bride's family. To this day, because this traditional wedding etiquette is cumbersome and time-consuming, the full set of "Three Letters and Six Rituals" is rarely used. Most of the time, the complex is simplified. The most widely regarded part is the wedding ceremony: the groom's family (guo's family) Big gift) Girl's family (return gift)
Items that have been given as a big gift include:
(1) Gift cakes: two boxes of dragon and phoenix gift cakes. The gift cakes can be divided into four types, six types and eight types, all in even numbers.
(2) Coconut: Use two pairs if the parents are still alive, otherwise it is better to use one pair.
(3) Tea leaves and sesame seeds: Because tea trees cannot be transplanted, seeds must be used when planting, so tea leaves are given as gifts, which means that they wish their children to keep planting. There is also a metaphor that once a marriage contract is concluded, a woman must keep her word and never regret it, which is also the so-called oilseed tea ceremony.
(4) Two pairs of betel nuts.
(5) Three animals: two pairs of chickens or geese, two females and two males (if the parents are not alive, only one pair is required). Pork is made in two parts, that is, one piece is split into two pieces and the bottom is connected. A pair of fish, usually a large fish. (Nowadays, it is mostly replaced by three kinds of gold [profit market])
(6) Seafood: usually four types of seafood, the high-end ones can choose abalone, sea cucumber, shark's fin, fish maw, and scallops; the more economical ones can be used Squid, dried shrimps, mushrooms, and oysters. Plenty and frugality depend on people (can be replaced by profit from the market).
(7) Post box: Of course, there must be gift money in the gift box, and the rest should also be filled with lotus seeds, lilies, red beans, mung beans, walnuts, peanuts, dried longan, dried lychees, cypress, cypress, Li Shi and so on. Among them are two pairs, with the words: "Five generations living under one roof, hundreds of sons and thousands of grandchildren."
(8) Others: cigarettes, wine, and fruits, please do as you please. Don’t miss two pairs of dragon and phoenix candles, as well as two pairs of couplets. (The couplet should be pasted in front of the gate at the latest the night before the wedding. Do not swap the left and right sides by mistake.)
When the bride’s family receives the betrothal gift from the groom’s family, they should also paste the couplets that belong to the groom’s family’s blessings. Items in return. Return gifts include:
(1) Half or a portion of the betrothal gift from the groom’s family, but must be in pairs.
(2) Tea, sesame, and fruits.
(3) One pair each of lotus root, taro and pomegranate. (It is best to choose lotus roots with branches and buds)
(4) He curtain towel (that is, double happiness towel).
(5) A suit or clothing material for the son-in-law, a belt, a wallet (with red chips inside), a pair of shoes and two pairs of socks.
(Since clothing sizes vary from person to person, to avoid deviation, it is recommended to use rishi instead.)
(6) A pair of betel nuts.
(7) Big tea ceremony: including money, fried dumplings, longli, big fat sponge cake, etc.
Tips: Keep everything simple, replace it with benefits, and write "Excessive gift will lead to great benefits". For example, "pork gold" replaces pork, and "clothing gold" replaces clothing. However, some important gifts should be brought in person as much as possible, including: a pair of dragon and phoenix cakes, several Tang cakes (about eight), a pair of dragon and phoenix candles, a couplet and fruits, etc.
Betrothal gift The items have auspicious meaning, and the quantity must be in pairs, avoid using odd numbers.
When the bride’s family receives the betrothal gift from the groom’s family, not all of it is accepted. The items that belong to the groom’s family’s blessings need to be returned as gifts
Handkerchiefs are not allowed as gifts, as they may imply breaking up.