Second, in the first chapter, you should use "land" in some places, and use "de". For example, in the third paragraph, there are two sentences: "People covered in rain stand up and look at their surroundings in amazement"-but this is not a big problem.
Third, the seventh paragraph, "The moonlight outside the cave has sneaked into the clouds." Moonlight?
Fourth, your narrative is too detailed, so detailed that every scene needs pen and ink. But generally speaking, the novel should be detailed when it is detailed, and it should be taken over-otherwise people who are eager to see the plot will think it is water injection.
The first point will be changed later.
The second and third points are actually not very heavy in online novels-I am used to thinking about every sentence, but I think most people write three lines at a time.
The fourth point should be noted. Of course, there must be some necessary scenery descriptions, but not too many. Otherwise, the reader is tired of reading and the author is tired of writing.
Generally speaking, the writing is good.