A little, a little.
The warm wind kept blowing in Yu Shu.
The forehead is hollow and long.
Although simple, simplicity is also a genre tendency of literature. The feeling of disharmony is very strong. What you seek in poetry is only literal correspondence. You have made every sentence correct, and it can be seen that you have adjusted it neatly.
But the direction of your poetry is not clear, how can you miss it day and night? Poetry should be the product of strong expression of feelings. Your words don't match your feelings, resulting in a false feeling. Miss day and night, is it always long and light? The first sentence is very incongruous, especially the word resentment, so resentment should not be so light.
And your feeling of piling up adjectives is quite obvious. You write the structure with emotion, and then change it into better words you like without emotion, in order to build the neat antithesis you need.
But the antithesis is also quite thoughtful, at least it has the feeling of entertainment. The first two words in the first sentence are postponed by 1 words in the second sentence, and then the words are postponed in turn.
From the perspective of appreciating poetry, your poems ... (don't want to be too vicious)
From the point of view of entertainment, it is ok. After all, literature does not require all poems to be literary.