Haizi, formerly known as Cha Haisheng, was born in Chawan, An Wei. 1964 was born in March. 1979 15 years old was admitted to the law department of Peking University and assigned to teach at China University of Political Science and Law. If we calculate his date of birth and death, we will find that he lived to be 26 years old. He was born in March 1964, and the day of his death happened to be March 26th. Is it just a coincidence that these two "26s" are so completely different?
Haizi is a transcendental poet. In him, prophetic and enlightening things are constantly obscured and perceived by people, which is an important reason for the formation of Haizi myth. Haizi regards poetry as life, which is the portrayal and expression of his life, and also the destruction and end of his life. In his poems, we not only found all the death consciousness and death scenes when he finally committed suicide, but also they were so vivid and true. It is particularly noteworthy that before his death, people will not pay attention to it, and sometimes even if they pay attention, they will not be alert to these death scenes. But when people feel these death scenes over and over again, the poet is dead and will never come again.
As Haizi's former best friend Nishikawa said, Haizi is a person with suicide complex, and the image of death is an important proposition in his poems, which is undoubtedly one of his last poems before committing suicide, namely "Spring, Ten Haizi: A Cruel and Sad Haizi in Spring". Here, Haizi undoubtedly issued a declaration of death, which is a sad Haizi, trapped in death and unable to extricate himself; This is a desperate poet, a broken soul without any hope: the wind blows from east to west and from north to south, ignoring night and dawn/what do you mean by dawn? (Spring, Ten Haizi).
Haizi had discussed suicide with his friends before his death, and finally chose to lie on the rails. According to Nishikawa, "maybe it's because he can't choose to jump off the plane", but the problem is obviously not that simple. Perhaps "lying on the railing seems to be the simplest, cleanest and most dignified way", but if we read his poems carefully, we can find the scene of railing death, that is, the ladders that appear constantly in his poems. Haizi's panoramic poem "The Sun", which almost killed him, began with an image: between heaven and earth, the ladder was quietly supported in the middle. Haizi endowed the ladder with the meaning of spiritual life here, and thought that the ladder was the only way to enter heaven. It was on the ladder that the poet began to sing: the woodcutter/cut down trees from the human forest/found the ladder/and then, from the ladder to heaven (Sun). It is the ladder that makes the poet enter heaven, enter the sacred position and enter the life image of death: I am standing on the ladder/I see the sky is about to close (Sun). The poet also expressed the same proposition in Nocturne: Nocturne on the ladder/Nocturne in heaven/Nocturne sang me. Therefore, obviously, the poet's choice of railway track has profound significance. And if someone takes the train at night, he will definitely have such an experience: in the near light, looking into the distance, the infinite rails are rising bit by bit until the sky, and the sleepers are just for people to climb the wooden steps of the stairs. Therefore, the death scene of the railway track ladder has its specific image not only in the poet's poems, but also in reality.
The poet chose the railway track, and there was an important death scene, that is, the broken body. Haizi was prone to schizophrenia for a long time before his death, until he later developed into schizophrenia. This can be seen from the suicide note he gave home before he died. In the suicide note, he said that someone was going to kill him and asked his family to avenge him. Therefore, in his poems, split, disjointed and broken poetic scenes are constantly emerging. It is the broken body that can reflect this very well and is extremely related to his death: "It's my heavy and divided body/rain and snow, tears in February" (dawn), "I told you, it's the sun that broke its head and bled" (dawn), "I fell/smashed my head from the heavy sky to the earth, and smashed my limbs" (peach blossom season) We can see that from/. 10 Haizi1March 4, 989, in just over 20 days, death scenes such as "severed limb", "decapitated blood" and "splitting pain" emerged in the poet's mind intensively and poured out in his poems.
Haizi took four books with him when he went to Shanhaiguan: The Bible, Thoreau's Walden Lake, Hayada's Lonely Raft Crossing the Ocean and Conrad's Selected Novels. Of these four books, the most important one is undoubtedly the Bible. It can be said that the inspiration and artistic conception of many poems in the poet's later period came from the Bible. However, even this Bible, we can still find its terrible death scene in the poet's poems: the first volume of the holy book is my wing, which is extremely bright/sometimes like today's gloomy/the second volume of the holy book is dirty and happy/of course, it is also my wounded wing/┉ ┉/my clearing and sky/The first volume and the second volume are merged into the holy book, and I split it again. This not only shows that the first volume and the second volume point to (wounded wings) respectively, but also shows that the holy book synthesized in the first volume is death: "It is my heavy and divided limb", which not only points out the death scene of the holy book, but also points out the death scene of the railway track. But it is doubtful that the poet seems to have a complex of hating the Bible, and the holy book is "dirty and happy". This kind of complex is more obvious in the poem "The Sun": "Dirty books and killing books are worn on my skull/because blood is thicker than water, I can't see anything else", which explains death more clearly: the holy book makes people die, and the result of death is bleeding and never seeing the distance again.
For Haizi's choice of Shanhaiguan, Zhu believes that there is a special purpose. "Because Shanhaiguan is the starting point of the Great Wall and a huge national gate, it is related to the greatest imperial autocracy in history." So Haizi's suicide is a kind of spiritual sacrifice. But surprisingly, ignore this, think it is too far-fetched. "In fact, Haizi did not choose Shanhaiguan, but chose a slow train lane between Shanhaiguan and Longjiaying." Although Zhu's view is too metaphysical, Sichuan's view is too narrow. Obviously, Shanhaiguan should be understood as a place to embrace Longjiaying, because Haizi is going towards the concept of Shanhaiguan. As for the specific location of suicide, it is limited by whether it is convenient to commit suicide, which can be seen from his wandering in Shanhaiguan for a long time. At the same time, it is obvious that Haizi chose Shanhaiguan for a certain purpose, because there are so many tracks to lie on in Beijing. Without a definite direction, there is no need to go to Shanhaiguan. This kind of behavior itself is enough to make us think deeply. We noticed that the poet mentioned mountains and oceans many times in his poems. The poet wrote in Dawn that the guillotine is a place full of hearts. Come with me, throw your head and shed your blood. Dawn/a new day is coming. As for the ocean, the poet thinks he is the son of the ocean. At the same time, he wrote in the poem "Dedicated to the Pacific Ocean": "God's sad bride, your own blood is red/sky, and your inner lonely ocean. There is the death image of the sea here, plus the death image of the mountain above, so we think this may be an angle to explain Shanhaiguan apart, which may also be a reason why the poet chose Shanhaiguan. Although this explanation may be so pale and far-fetched.
Haizi went to Shanhaiguan on March 25 and wandered around Shanhaiguan all afternoon and morning. Then he began to walk to the place where he was lying on the track at noon on the 26th, and finally chose dusk. To our shock, even at dusk, we found its death image in the poem: "It's dusk/headless hero's finger sunset/finger sunset and the sky/with dust and blood in its eyes/with its horse's head bowed" (Sun). What a vivid death sentence this is! What a cruel omen!
So far, we have found all the death scenes when the poet finally died in his poems. Perhaps this is a far-fetched attachment or accidental coincidence, but we believe that this is the poet's self-expression, and it is an exquisite self-destruction and design. But in any case, we should always remember the figure of the poet on March 26th: loneliness, wandering, loneliness, haggard, sadness and despair. We also believe that poets are "martyrs", that is, "martyrs die". When poetry becomes a poet's life and a poet's belief, poetry and death have the same meaning. My forehead is a fire, and faith is my body. The death of the poet declared the end of pure poetry in the 1980s, and at the same time, it was far away from the unclean and dirty world of poetry in the 1990s. The poet is suffering and dying. They will not be noticed or recognized in their lifetime. They wander lonely and isolated on the edge, and even the publication of poems is extremely difficult. Therefore, the poet died unsatisfied. However, just like many similar tragedies in history, the poet is therefore sacred and will always be admired by future generations. When we look up at the starry sky at night, we will definitely find a star: it is staring at our eyes attentively. Let's pay tribute to the poet who died for life with Hamilton's poem: No matter who dies,/I feel a part of myself is dying. /Because I am included in the concept of human beings. /So I never ask for whom the bell tolls,/He tolls for you and me.