-
In winter in Beijing, there is still snow on the ground, gray-black bald branches are forked in the clear sky, and one or two kites are floating in the distance, which is a surprise and sadness for me.
The kite season in my hometown is spring and February. If you hear the rustling wind wheel, you can see a crab kite with light ink color or a centipede kite with tender blue color. There is also a lonely tile kite, which has no wind wheel and is placed very low, making a person look gaunt and pitiful. But at this time, the willows on the ground have sprouted, and the early-blooming mountain peaches are also spitting buds, which are in harmony with the decorations of the children in the sky and become a gentle spring day. Where am I now? It is still cold around in winter, but the long-lost spring in my hometown is rippling in this sky.
But I have never liked flying kites. I not only don't love it, but also hate it, because I think it's what worthless children do. Contrary to me, my little brother, who was about ten years old at that time, was very ill and thin. However, he likes kites best, and I can't afford them. He had to open his mouth and stare blankly at the sky, sometimes for half a day. The crab kite in the distance suddenly fell, and he exclaimed; The entanglement between the two tile kites was untied, and he jumped up happily. All his things, in my opinion, are laughingstock and contemptible.
One day, it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't seen him for many days, but I remember seeing him picking up dead bamboo in the backyard. Like an epiphany, I ran to a small house where few people went, pushed open the door and found him among the dusty things. He sat on a small stool, facing the wide stool; He stood up in horror, his face was bloodless and he winced. Beside the wide stool, there is a bamboo bone of a butterfly kite, which has not been pasted with paper. There is a pair of small wind wheels for eyes on the stool, decorated with red paper strips, which will be finished soon. In the satisfaction of uncovering the secret, I was angry that he wouldn't let me know, so I took great pains to steal the toys of those useless children. I immediately reached out and broke a wing bone of the butterfly, and then threw the wind wheel to the ground and trampled it flat. In terms of age and strength, he can't compare with me. Of course, I won a complete victory, so I proudly walked out, leaving him standing in the hut in despair. I don't know what happened to him later, and I didn't pay attention.
However, my punishment finally came. Long after we left, I was in middle age. Unfortunately, I came across a foreign book about children, only to know that games are the most proper behavior of children and toys are children's angels. So the scene that I have never recalled in the past 20 years when my spirit was destroyed suddenly unfolded before my eyes, and my heart seemed to turn into lead at the same time, falling heavily.
But the heart didn't fall and break, just fell heavily.
I also know the way to make up for it: give him a kite, approve of his flying, persuade him to fly, and I will fly with him. We shouted, ran and laughed-but he had grown a beard like me.
I also know that there is another way to make up for it: ask his forgiveness and wait for him to say, "I don't blame you at all." Then, my heart must relax. This is indeed a feasible method. Once, as soon as we met, many hard stripes of "life" were engraved on our faces, and my heart was heavy. We gradually talked about the old things of childhood, so I narrated this paragraph and talked about my childhood confusion. "I don't blame you at all." I think, as soon as he said it, I was forgiven immediately, and my heart was relieved from now on.
"Is there such a thing?" He said with a surprised smile, just like listening to other people telling stories. He doesn't remember anything.
What can you forgive if you forget completely and have no resentment? Forgive without complaining, just lie.
What else can I ask for? My heart has to be heavy.
Now, the spring in my hometown permeates this strange place, which reminds me of my long-lost childhood and brings me uncertain sadness. I might as well hide in the cold winter-but it's cold all around, which gives me great cold and air conditioning.
1925 1 24th of the month