If it is about the third or fourth grade of primary school, it is still quite good. Stick to the theme and grasp several key points: rescuers, state leaders and the people of the whole country. From small to large, from individual to universal. Finally, point out the topic and sublimate the central idea.
But if you are an older classmate, you are not very qualified. In the first section, it is unwise to use "…" to find alignment in every line. More like a news broadcast than a poem.
Writing poetry during the exam is actually very risky, because it is difficult for teachers to master the grading standards of poetry and students' ability to control poetry is not enough. To tell the truth, the teacher doesn't want to see poetry in the exam composition, because it is difficult to give points. Students are tired of boring exam compositions and want to create new works. This spirit of courage to try is good, but it is not appropriate to innovate during the exam. Innovation does not mean high marks.
Good luck and good grades in the exam.