We'll wait and see when he finishes singing.
I dare not surprise him, but he still shows off.
Break through the dense and become colorful clouds.
He flew away, disappeared, disappeared-
Like spring, like flame, like enthusiasm.
If you contact Xu Zhimo19311119, his description is amazing. In fact, the year before Xu's death, that is, 1930, he wrote a poem that should be more disturbing afterwards than the poem Orioles, but I don't know why this poem didn't attract everyone's attention. The title of this poem is "Spring in 1930", and there are only four short sentences, which are like this:
A burst of laughter
From the clouds to the ground.
Scrape its face and stab its heart.
Say, "wake up, why do you always fall asleep?"
Let's look at the first two sentences of the poem again. Is it more thrilling than the above poem "The Oriole"? We can completely describe it as a plane crash. As early as 1925, Xu Zhimo wrote an essay "Facing Forward", which contained several poems without titles, one of which was like this: "I would like to live in flames." The proof before and after these three poems really reflects some mysterious, unpredictable and unchangeable fate.
Most personal failures begin with family failures. Home is like a person's rain umbrella, harbor, armor and backyard. When there is a family problem, this person loses the room for protection and maneuver. Both mind and body are vulnerable to attack or even destruction. The last few years of Xu Zhimo's life were extremely painful, which came from the misfortune of his marriage with Lu Xiaoman. In this regard, the poet's friends and friends have many hints. After marriage, Lu Xiaoman couldn't provide Xu Zhimo with motivation, help and vitality in spirit and lifestyle, and even brought him some blows and setbacks. This makes the poet exhausted and can't get rid of it. Hu Shi once thought that Xu Zhimo's poem Life was evidence of his failure. Let's see:
Gloomy, dark, winding like a snake
Life has become a tunnel.
Once trapped, you can only move forward.
Hold fast to the sticky tide on the cold wall with both hands.
Struggling in the devil's guts
There is not a glimmer of skylight overhead.
This soul, under the oppression of terror,
What do you want to destroy most?
This poem was written in May 1928. At that time, he had been married to Lu Xiaoman for two years and had settled in Shanghai. During this period, the turmoil related to twists and turns in Lu Xiaoman was very lively. In addition, in addition to profligacy in life, Lu is also addicted to drugs. According to He Lingyan, the goddaughter of Xu and Lu, her work and rest are reversed day and night. I can't get up until five or six in the afternoon during the day, and I don't go to bed until dawn at night. This state is not difficult to imagine for Xu Zhimo, who has an ideal desire for marriage. So, after writing the poem "Life", he set off for Japan, America and Europe. What can we learn from this poem? It is probably: there is more sorrow in your heart than death in your heart.
The above is to see Xu Zhimo's death from his poems. What is even more surprising is that there were some more direct signs a few days before his death, which many of his friends mentioned. For example, Fang Lingru paraphrased Ling Shuhua's words in "Zhimo is Everyone's Friend", saying that Ling traveled to Beijing Xishan with Xu Zhimo on a snowy night a few years ago. After coming back, Xu wrote a travel note, copied it in his notebook, and made a joke on the first page: Mr. Shima is eternal. 193 1 year165438+1at the beginning of October, before Xu left Beijing for Shanghai, Ling inadvertently showed it to Xu and said, "How can it be forever?" Zheng Zhenduo mentioned two more things in mourning for Zhimo. One was said by Xu Dishan. The last time he saw Xu Zhimo was at the front door a few days before the poet went south. Xu told Xu that he was going to the south and asked when he would come back. Xu said, "I don't know. Maybe he will never come back." Xu Dishan thinks this is a bit "foresight". The other one was said by a man named "Tieyan". Tieyan said, "It's a little strange. Isn't Shi Ma's face very white? The last time I saw him, I felt as if his face was covered with black light. "