As the most famous contemporary "spiritual romantic" poet, Gu Cheng's line "The night gave me black eyes, but I use them to find light" has become the most representative line in contemporary new poetry. .
As a poet, Gu Cheng was very successful, and his poems were widely recognized in the world of literature. However, in life, Gu Cheng could not only be accompanied by dreams and romance. After experiencing the vicissitudes of life and all kinds of life, Gu Cheng He chose death and killed his lover with his own hands.
For a poet like him, we may not be able to understand his world, but there is no doubt about his passion and intention.
1.
When telling Gu Cheng’s story, I am afraid of being resented and also afraid that no one will listen. Because for people like Gu Cheng or Haizi, it is best to live only in poetry collections. If they tell their stories in detail, they will always feel that the reality is too cruel for them. It seems that the best poets should be in Heaven.
Gu Cheng was born in a family of poets in Beijing. His father, Gu Gong, was a famous poet in the early days of the founding of the People's Republic of China. A good family background gave him a good educational environment, but it did not let Gu Cheng choose to follow the rules like other children.
Gu Cheng has loved reading since he was a child, but he did not like to communicate with others. In his childhood, he was always alone with the ants and chatting with the breeze.
But this strange kid in the eyes of many people has his own unique talent. Although he dropped out of school at the age of twelve and was sent to a farm with his father, under his father's influence, the young Gu Cheng has already Able to express feelings through poetry.
When he was thirteen years old, he wrote "My Fantasy":
I am fantasizing,
The fantasy is being shattered;
Illusions always forgive disillusionment,
Disillusionment never lets go of illusions.
Such a fresh and concise poem seems to contain the epitome of Gu Cheng’s life.
Because of his innate feelings as a poet, Gu Cheng has been constantly fantasizing and looking up throughout his life. This character in his bones has never wavered, from the time he wrote "My Fantasy" at the age of thirteen to the time he finally killed His wife committed suicide again, but deep down he was always a perfectionist who was dissatisfied with reality and full of expectations.
2.
In 1969, Gu Cheng was sent to a farm in Shandong with his father, where he spent the critical five years of developing his character.
What impresses many people is that Gu Cheng always wears a hat in photos from various periods. In a speech abroad, he once explained that hats can bring him a sense of security. Maybe he is a childish big boy who likes quietness by nature. In the complicated and noisy world, he hopes that this little hat can It can more or less help him reduce the disturbance from the outside world.
3.
Gu Cheng’s love was not as smooth sailing as on the road of literary creation, but he was undoubtedly lucky to meet Xie Ye.
In 1979, 23-year-old Gu Cheng met Xie Ye by chance on a train, and the two fell in love at first sight. During the relationship with Xie Ye, Gu Cheng was questioned by some people because he did not have a regular job. He seemed to be an idle young man with no real job.
In fact, it was difficult for this kind of evaluation to affect Gu Cheng, but people's words were scary. When he knew that it was related to whether his relationship with Xie Ye could continue, he began to work hard to write poems. I want to publish more poems to earn royalties and prove to others that I can support my family by writing.
After four years of passionate love, the two finally got married. Gu Cheng and his wife admire each other. In Xie Ye's eyes, her husband is the most affectionate and talented poet in the world.
Perhaps this relationship was unfair from the beginning. Gu Cheng’s dependence on his wife was unimaginable. When Gu Cheng was writing, Xie Ye could not make any noise and could only move within the scope of his perspective, because Gu Cheng I hope I can see Xie Ye's bright smile when I look up.
Xie Ye had invested too much in this relationship, and Gu Cheng's demands made her too tired. In Gu Cheng's world, he hopes that his wife will be both a good wife and mother who takes care of his food, clothing, and daily life, and a saint and immortal in his spiritual world.
Later, Gu Cheng had "Ying'er" - a senior girl he met at a poetry seminar. Gu Cheng likes Ying'er's innocence, and Ying'er boldly reveals her love for Gu Cheng.
In 1988, Gu Cheng became a New Zealand citizen in order to avoid many worldly disturbances. He and his wife *** began a secluded life on Waiheke Island in New Zealand. After leaving the secular world, Gu Cheng, who had no ability to take care of himself, began to rely more on Xie Ye. At this time, Gu Cheng still maintained correspondence with "Ying'er". Finally, with Xie Ye's consent, "Ying'er" also came to Waiheke Island. , the three began a deformed relationship.
4.
The incredible life on Waiheke Island did not last long. Once, Gu Cheng and Xie Ye went out to give lectures. "Ying'er, who was fed up with this sick life, “I took away all the belongings in my family, eloped with a German who was thirty years older than me, and left Waiheke Island forever.
After "Ying'er" left, Gu Cheng completely fell into restlessness and mania. He beat Xie Ye many times to vent his paranoia and anger.
However, the biggest problem between Gu Cheng and his wife is the child. Xie Ye had been pregnant twice, but Gu Cheng did not agree to have children. He believed that children would drive his life crazy. Xie Ye was pregnant for the second time and was already over 30 years old. She didn't want to miss this opportunity to have a child, so she tried every means to persuade Gu Cheng and finally gave birth to their child "Little Fungus".
Gu Cheng hated this child from the bottom of his heart, and often even brutally abused the child for no reason. In desperation, Xie Ye decided to temporarily give the child to the local indigenous residents to raise. At this point, their relationship began to completely break down.
When Xie Ye filed for divorce and planned to leave Gu Cheng, Gu Cheng's last bit of dignity as a tyrant began to burst out.
On October 8, 1993, Gu Cheng had another conflict with his wife Xie Ye at their home on Waiheke Island, and injured Xie Ye with an axe. Gu Cheng left four strange suicide notes in his panic. , and then chose to hang himself, and Xie Ye also died of his injuries within a few hours of his death.
Gu Cheng’s tragedy has always been controversial, just like his poetry.
I think it is difficult for anyone to understand his spiritual world. He was a genius in the literary world and a patient of that era. He may be able to express his feelings through poetry, and he can be imaginative, but he cannot cure himself. This is not only his sorrow, but also a microcosm of that era.