I am not a master. Let's talk about some small bugs I think:)
1. The word "can" in the sentence "But my light has gone with your shadow" is suggested to be removed. I feel that you want to use the word "can" to indicate the turning point here, but if you look closely at the upper and lower sentences, there should be no turning point.
2. The sentence "At this time/like the bright moon/lonely, incomplete/hazy forgotten by everything",
Maybe it would be better to change the order, for example, "I like the lonely and incomplete moon/vaguely forgotten by (everything)", and I think the word "everything" is a bit "big" and "empty". I suggest that you change it into words similar to "yourself" or "you" according to your own emotional experience.
3. The first paragraph of the poem limits the time and environment for you to write the poem, which slightly conflicts with the "waning moon" and "stars" behind it. Maybe your intention is that time is flowing. However, if you read it carefully, you will feel a sense of time and space disorder or "strong sadness". I hope to reconsider.
The second paragraph of this poem is inconsistent with the emotional tone of the first and third paragraphs. If it is necessary to keep it, it is suggested to change the sentence "a small bridge flows with water".
If you want to send this poem to your heroine, I suggest adding a sentence (one sentence is enough) in brackets, or a small detail that she touched you. For example: think of your childish smile. For example, I think of the way you bow your head and be shy. Like holding the handkerchief you gave me for the first time. For example: gently press my chest, where your picture and my heartbeat are hidden ... and so on. ...
Shame, once again, I am not a master, and I don't want to change your poems too much. I have the cheek to say a few words here just to wish you a smooth relationship. In addition, I want to tell you that if you want to keep her, the fluency and beauty of poetry is not the most important thing, just the true feelings.