Shancheng (Life)
Date: February 8, 2020
Weather: Shui Noodles
Talking as always, Return to the original as always, as crazy as always, as taciturn as always, life is short, unexpectedly, those things that others see as calm and gentle, I still can't forget.
Life can be long or short, life can be quiet or impetuous, life is unwilling to be ordinary, life is ordinary, we are strangers running around telling each other in the streets, unexpected things happen, and they are shattered.
In fact, it is only a few years, but in fact, it has been a lifetime in the dream.
Have you ever talked nonsense?
Actually, you don’t know that when I came back this time, I used up all my energy in my life to be crazy and saw the person I wanted to see. The more crazy I was, the more I couldn’t hide my sadness. Later I realized that it was still... I didn’t see the person I was most looking forward to meeting.
But is the person you meet the one you expect? Nonsense, otherwise what would I do when I come back? The sunshine is surprisingly good, not what I want. The mountain city has undergone its own changes with the times, and its appearance is familiar but also reveals a strangeness. Standing alone at the entrance of an unknown alley, should I turn left or right? This is a question that doesn't require any thinking, because once you come to her, everything about her will seem incredibly kind. It's like standing somewhere with thin air and returning to a place with abundant oxygen. In addition to being grateful for life, you feel nothing else. Nothing is pick-and-choose. There were some friendly unfamiliar faces in the endless stream of people. They said "hello" as if they were meeting for the first time. In fact, they didn't say anything, but the smiles in response were really nice. A few dead leaves scattered on the branch passed by my face and fell from my fingers the moment I raised my head. They were wonderful once again, like a reincarnation, heralding my coming and the end of the present. , connected.
Who can understand the contentment mixed with regret?
I was unhappy for no reason in my joy, and let go of the stubborn knot in my heart that had been in my heart for many years. I couldn’t let go back then because I hadn’t grown up yet, but now that I know it, I still can’t let go of those years, which is called carrying forward with a heavy burden.
Saying that you don’t understand me, it’s still you who are entangled in the obsessions that you have harbored over the years. If you don’t tell others, who will you tell them to? This society is like a fantasy kingdom. The clown becomes a gentleman after putting on clothes. He pretends to be fresh and refined in a nonchalant manner. It is strange and his poor acting skills can be seen through at a glance, but everyone knows it well and does not expose it. Later I understood that the world is dazzling. The most terrifying thing is not to be dizzy, but to see that all the differences are the same. How scary! Sometimes, not admitting the filthiness of others is actually leaving room for yourself, because you are not willing to admit that you are so filthy. In the end, I still don’t live a free and easy life, and I still can’t retreat in the end.
When you have a girl walking with you through the streets, it is actually more pleasant to stand alone on Baita Mountain and look at the mountain city under the setting sun. Sometimes you cannot forget people, and sometimes the scenery becomes the scapegoat. From day to night, for the first time, the shivering self understood what it meant to be willing. The mountain that I didn’t want to go down, the city that I didn’t want to leave, let’s just say goodbye. The lights were feasting and feasting at the foot of the mountain, common people! After all, we cannot leave the flowery world to enjoy the paradise, and cheer to our heart's content while watching the corrupt life.
Maybe people are like this, what they expect is actually misty. Wouldn’t it be strange if you could see it?
Look, you still haven’t seen the person you wanted to see. It seems to be expected, but the person you really want to see is in the city where you finally arrived after thinking about it. Why don’t you meet him? There is a comforting saying: The future is long, yes, it refers to myself now. It took us a lot of courage to look back at the past. How can we be willing to read it all at once? If we can't bear it, let's save the best for last!
(I was timid in front of my crush. I was so crazy in front of you in those years, but now I am so timid. Finally, I returned to the summer when we first met. There was no awkward shyness in the silence. On the street corner I passed, I was picking up things, vaguely reappearing them.)
The owner of that familiar noodle shop has changed, and the taste that I can’t remember has changed. , sat down in the steamy and noisy corner, what I ate was the taste, what I was looking for was memories; the coffee shop called "Mr. Zhang and Miss Liu" was like a busy city that couldn't tolerate its quietness and slowness, so rustic. The ground coffee has its warmth and purity concealed by the earthy color. Looking for familiar figures and sounds in an unfamiliar environment is like a dream!
"Love" will become numb if you talk too much. If you haven't spoken for a long time, you will feel a sense of intimacy even if you talk nonsense, right?
I am like a hungry and cold scavenger, eating a forbidden fruit freely, thinking that it is not painful or itching, and not going too far out of greed even when I cross the line. I am just right to hold back. Who does God forget in the end? No! Finally remember everyone clearly.
The clown is busy pretending to be elegant, hanging out in the upper class, stroking his dear pet dog, pretending to be doting on his harsh shouts, but actually feeling pity in his heart. In fact, who would not be a clown the moment he performs on stage? Feeling pitiful?
The crow still doesn’t know that its miserable cries are not pitiful in people’s eyes, but sympathy from beginning to end, in exchange for being consistent, it is an ominous thing in people’s eyes, and it does not understand people. If you don’t speak to others, who will listen?
Is there still the smell of earth in the air? Can the meager contribution of the burning flames in the cold winter really give people hope? Sometimes it will backfire and run counter to the original intention. In a vast white world of ice and snow, the fire that was supposed to bring hope to people turned into helplessness after most people accepted the fact that it was a drop in the bucket. We are walking in the dark night, and how many people can regard the sudden light in the distance as hope? After all, life is a ration. We are at best dolls that can walk on their own. On a track that has already been planned by others, do you care to appreciate the scenery along the way? In fact, the scenery along the way is neither crying nor laughing, so why should we be emotionally invested and nostalgic? The air is full of strange smells, and the inner drama is extremely rich. In fact, I forgot one thing in the end. The doll has an expressionless face, and those struggles cannot be replaced. Back to understanding.
Life will finally usher in the sunset, is it complete? Is it a pity? Do you still remember which person and thing made you unforgettable? Actually no! The only thing that follows me every day is my shadow. I thought I could masturbate by saying loneliness in another way, but later I realized how pitiful it was to deceive myself. We collect bits and pieces of the past, unwilling to throw away even a little bit, thinking that this is called heavy feelings, but later we realize that feelings are really heavy, overwhelming ourselves, like all possessions that cannot escape the extreme end of things, they will perish if we hide too much, and in the end we become We are the only ones who trust us, and the vast sea of ??people outside that circle finally looks at people like us who are so heartless and unjust.
One day, when you have experienced the ups and downs, you will understand that life is extraordinary only if you are willing to fall into your trap and be the me you describe, right!
One day, when he walks through the bustling streets and looks back frequently, you will understand that life is quiet and hazy. Even in the cage you carefully arranged, we are still people from different worlds, right?
One day, I will finally walk that path and become myself, and you will understand me. We are born as one person, and the glamor and glamor of the past are filled with illusions. My dear, you are ultimately like two-way streets that do not cross. Extend yourself to the distance and accept your fate!
Saying goodbye is not allowed to go back on one's promise and meet again.
Farewell to the platform, this time I didn’t look back after getting on the bus.
I will leave regrets in this life and never make up for them in the rest of my life.
There is no turning back in life. Life is a one-way journey with no round trip.
——The cold sun shines faintly, and the shadows in the evening mist are desolate; a lifelong dream of a mountain city will eventually turn into a dream when you wake up.