Dad told the fish that he was often hungry when he was a child. Fish and fish had tears in their eyes: "Well, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"
3. A train passed a mountainous area, and farmers came to watch along the way. A female guest on the bus had a holiday and went out of the window after changing the paper.
Flying head-on in a farmer's face, the farmer took it off and said, "Wow! ! ! The train is fast, and a piece of paper can make my nose bleed.
My three-year-old daughter often says to me, "Dad, did you reap what you planted?" I said, "Yes, you reap what you sow." The daughter said happily, "Then I grow jelly. I want a lot of jelly."
The two fathers and sons are violent and never let people down. One day, the father ordered his son to buy meat to entertain guests. When you come back, go to the city gate to make way for each other. After standing for a long time, my father ran over: "Good son, you take the meat first, and I will stand with you!" "
A joke may be just a phrase, a short story or a series of words, which makes the speaker and communicator feel funny or humorous. The difference between action jokes and oral jokes is that action jokes affect people's vision and make people feel funny.
6. One day, there were many people on a bus. When the conductor was buying a ticket, suddenly a person farted, and everyone on the bus felt uncomfortable breathing and scolded the uncivilized man.
At this moment, the conductor shouted, "Who didn't buy a ticket?"
A passenger replied, "The man who farted just now didn't buy a ticket!" " "
Then a man stood up and shouted, "Who said I didn't buy a ticket!" " "
7. Mom told Xiao Shuang to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! "
"What does a cock crow have to do with me?" Shuang said. I am not a hen! "
If a drop of water represents blessing, I will send you a South China Sea, if a star represents happiness, I will send you a galaxy, and if a spoonful of honey represents missing, I will send you a hornet's nest, so I won't believe it won't kill you.
Notice: there will be a leadership inspection tomorrow morning. Dear colleagues, please dress as required. Man: suit, tie, shorts and slippers; Lady: swimsuit, pants, shoes!
Emergency reminder: there may be tornado weather recently, so be sure to take two dumbbells weighing 10 kg when you go out to avoid being swept to the west by strong wind. Those who weigh less than 50 kilograms must be doubled.
Standing on the balcony that day, you enjoyed the drizzle and thought about the rough life. Your face is wet and tastes sour, bitter and salty. Is it rain or tears? You look up at the sky. Wow, whose mop?
With you in life, life is full of infinite vitality; With you along the way, I am afraid of lightning; Just because of you, happiness and satisfaction are always overflowing; Without you, who will feed the pig food?
It's been a long time since I received your message, and I feel very distressed. I thought I cut my pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped off a building with a parachute and hung it on noodles, but they all died. Just invite me to dinner and support me to death.
Money can buy a house, but not a home; Marriage, but not love; Clocks, but you can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!
May you be happy every day for 365 days a year, 8760 hours forever, 5256000 wonderful minutes and 3 1536000 seconds.
Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, a day with you is a beautiful day.
If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will recall the ups and downs with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.
10% persistent+10% missing+10% jealous+10% suspicious+10% sweet+10% distressed+10.
There is a tacit understanding called empathy, a feeling called wonder, a happiness called being with you, and a yearning called living like years.
Yesterday, when I turned on my mobile phone to read short messages, I was shocked and fainted all night because of the electrostatic reaction of my clothes. Take off your clothes before you watch it, so as not to get an electric shock!
Dear users: Your mobile phone has the function of withdrawing money. Just take out the SIM card and insert it into the ATM. If ATM doesn't accept business, please hit ATM with your mobile phone!
It is not easy for two people to meet in the vast sea of people. When you receive this sincere blessing, please try your best to hit the strong man with your head and see that countless stars in front of you are my infinite blessing!
Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students: Count off in the first row! You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly: Count off! So you reluctantly turned and hugged the tree!
Rainy, wet, wet ... every night, you just stare at the cold window and stare at it. I came over and said to you softly, "Wang Cai, go in. The person who sent the bone won't come today.
"
Shall we go on a date on Saturday Please grant my sincere request! Because I really want to go to the seaside with you and listen to the sound of the sea. I'll take you to climb the highest stone near Shanghai and kick you down!
I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind. I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves. So I wrote your name in the street, but the police took it away.
A kindergarten teacher said to children who often wet the bed: From now on, no one is allowed to wet the bed, and 3 yuan is fined once a day and 5 yuan twice a week ... A child raised his hand and asked: Teacher, how much is the monthly subscription?
God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls!
I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you or not. Do I care about you as much as I care about you?
If beauty is a mistake, then I am all wet. If cleverness is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime. It's really hard to be a man, but you'll get better. There is neither wrong nor sin. I envy you!
I can't eat in the morning because I miss you, I can't eat at noon because I miss you more, I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily, and I can't sleep at night because I'm hungry.
I am poor and can't afford many red roses. My money can only buy a cactus, but I am romantic. Now I come to you with this cactus and summon up courage to say those three words to you-sit on it! ! !
I always thought that if I was invisible, others would not find me. It's no use. A calm person like me, no matter where he is, is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the night. Melancholy eyes, sparse beard, amazing AK shooting, martini in 1982 and toothpicks from Fage all betrayed me deeply. ....
When the white clouds pass by, it is the trace of my missing you;
When the sun shines, that's my miss for you;
When it rains, it is proof that I miss you;
When it thundered, that's when I prayed to heaven that you were hit ... haha-
Because of you, I believe in fate; Because of you, I believe in past lives.
Maybe all this is predestined, pulling us together,
Now I really want to say ...
What evil did I do in my last life!
I'm sorry to send you a message so late ~ ~
If it bothers you ~ ~ I'll tell you here ~ ~
Serves you right ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~ ~ ~ Hehe! !
Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated.
I reached out when I needed help most, and I have countless words to say.
Just want to tell you:
"Nothing good has happened since I met you! You are a loser! 」
Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me.
I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. ...
So ... I will be a cow and a horse in my next life ... and I will definitely pull up grass for you to eat. ...
The answer is: rain without fish? Mud mountain without stones? Trees on the ground have no branches? I don't have a father? A woman without a husband? A deserted city without a city? Judging from the homonym of the answer, the last six-word romantic answer is: grow old with you.
In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. I was sent to check and found that the shell exploded in the farmland. You stood there in rags, with dark eyes and tearful eyes. You said to me: Is it worth stealing a cabbage with a shell?
You know our friendship means a lot to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump off a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation: "Wow! Strangely, not dead! "
I said to my mother: I like you! After spending so much time with you, I feel I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house every day to accompany me! But my mother didn't agree. She said: no dogs at home!
Yesterday, when I turned on my mobile phone to read short messages, I was shocked and fainted all night because of the electrostatic reaction of my clothes. Take off your clothes before you watch it, so as not to get an electric shock!
If I were the sun, I would give you warmth; If I were a diamond, I would give you eternity; But I am nothing ... so I can only give you a harassment. Ha ha!
There is something between heaven and earth called snow, which falls from the sky and falls to the ground; There is something in the world called love, which is born from self-attraction and harmonious in sublimation; One of my friends is you, whom I met by chance and stopped at eternity. Happy Thanksgiving