Deep valley
On a heavy winter night, the wind is blowing wildly,
The stars are curled up, sleeping in the cold.
The kettle on the fire snored,
The steam painted flowers on the glass windows.
The two women were sitting on the edge of the bed talking to each other,
The voices were full of passion and they were not tired at all.
The older one was tying the sweater with his dexterous fingers;
The younger one had bright tears in his eyes.
“Yes, Da Liu, I am really not strong enough.
When I think of him, my heart feels cold.
He has given me too much happiness. ,
It also left too much trauma
The wind and snow in winter have blown away the heat of summer,
But my past experiences are old. Can’t forget.
Hey, this generation is living so well,
Why is my fate so miserable?”
Da Liu put it down gently. Knitting,
Holding the opponent’s left wrist with your right hand:
“Be quiet, Xiaoyun,
This little storm is nothing.
In the long river of life,
Who can avoid encountering some twists and turns!
Love is always an extraordinary trade,
You always give more than you earn.
“Perhaps, you think I am too happy,
I don’t understand your pain.
No, I also had terrible memories.
It weighed on my heart and I walked a long distance with difficulty.
In those grim days of the war,
Love also cast a fog on my life.
I have fought, I have had glory,
But I have also been addicted, and I have had shame.
"...It was the early days of the Anti-Japanese War,
I was just like you now, young and beautiful.
A girl's heart is like a clear sky,< /p>
Being calm and carefree about everything
Due to the passionate pursuit of revolution,
From the far south to the Shaanxi-Gansu-Ningxia Border Region,
Without relatives or companions,
I walked thousands of miles alone
“Like all young women,
I encounter bold male gazes everywhere,
Like all serious girls,
I always avoid them and keep my eyes fixed in one place.
No matter in the military depot in the deserted village in the northwest,
No matter on the road with flying loess,
I just think quietly, /p>
My heart, spread your wings for a great future.
"When the car drove into the border of Shaanxi, Gansu and Ningxia,
Happy singing immediately sounded in the carriage,
The female companions burst out of joy. Tears,
The faces of the male companions turned crimson with excitement.
At this time, there was a loud voice,
Suddenly in my side. There was a roar on the opposite side,
I looked there inadvertently,
Oh, a pair of sharp eyes covered with long eyelashes
"The most beautiful thing in the war. Afraid of unexpected attacks,
men’s sudden gazes often make people tremble.
His sharp and strange glance made my heart unable to calm down for a long time.
When I looked up at the clear sky in the north,
looking around at the vast and free land over there,
I felt that I was in a I am trapped in a beautiful world.
These eyes are particularly addictive to me.
“I don’t know what kind of power it is,
prompting me to keep secretly visiting him.
Oh, this is really an extraordinary man. ,
The high bridge of the nose protrudes from the dark face,
The forehead is slightly wrinkled, revealing deep melancholy,
The steady manner appears elegant and generous .
His eyes are also calm and calm,
but they often collide with mine...
"Love is such an invisible thing. Rope,
As long as it binds you, it will be difficult to get rid of it.
I think it will be better when we get to Yan'an.
Even the faint scars will heal.
But now in front of him,
I can hardly bear the anxious loneliness.
I have also secretly humiliated myself:
This is so bad, why are you so frivolous! ...
"Yan'an, pagodas, winding Yanhe River,
rows of cave dwellings, guest house of the Organization Department of the Central Committee,
new sunshine, new pictures , the new language,
What surprise and joy it caused me!
Only then did I forget about it,
It unfolded before me! A great life.
But in that vast dusk,
He suddenly approached me with rapid steps.
“I don’t remember at all how he called me,
I don’t know how I followed him to the Yan River,
I can only obey Waiting and enduring
His fiery words of love,
His strong hugs and passionate kisses,
Oh, My heart was so happy and wild!
When I became more awake, I fell into his arms and cried that I had lost the peace of my girl's heart.
p>
"So, he comforted me gently and whispered in my ear in a poetic tone:
'I love you because I have seen through you.
I love you because I am absolutely loyal to myself,
I will never make fun of this life that only lasts once,
And love is The most important basis of life. ’
This strange vow-like confession,
evoked my deeper love and greater respect. ”
“Hey, we women are so stupid sometimes.
We just like to listen to men’s most touching lies! "
Xiaoyun interrupted eagerly,
At this time, the strong wind outside was beating the doors and windows...
"No, don't think he has What pretense,
Our love was once full of flowers,
His lasting and blazing passion,
simply melted my whole body and mind.
"Three months of life in Yan'an,
We lived a fulfilling and happy life,
Every charming night by the Yan River,
We both kissed and sang loudly
There was never any quarrel between us,
He was always so gentle and gentle to me,
Only a few days before leaving Yan'an,
A small disturbance occurred
"The organization assigned us to the front line,
I readily agreed, but he remained silent.
At night, we sat quietly on the bank of the Yan River,
looking at the lights on the other side and listening to the gurgling water.
He suddenly asked: ‘Don’t you like Yan’an the most? ’
I said: ‘Yes, I am really nostalgic. ’
He asked again: ‘Then why do you want to go to the front? ’
I said: ‘Let’s fight, I want to be a female guerrilla. '
"His eyes squinted at me, his eyelashes fluttering slightly.
This was the first time I saw him ridiculing me.
He said:' You are no longer a child,
The world is by no means as bright as you imagined
Even in Yan'an, there is not much room for development.
But here we are free and peaceful, at least we won’t be ridiculed;
As for the front, there is no glory for intellectuals.
Those who can charge into battle are the heroes who stand upright. '
p>“Look, how bizarre his thoughts are,
I can’t help but feel angry and ashamed.
I judged him to be cowardly and wavering,
I accused him of despicable individualism.
I said that I would unconditionally obey the organization's decision.
I said that I would go even if he didn't go. ...
As for him, how strange it was, he remained silent,
he quietly lowered his head and allowed me to reprimand him.
“I thought he might break with me afterwards,
But he didn’t, and he compromised the next day.
He said: He must Eliminate the shadow in the heart,
Become simple and pure in the difficult struggle
Then, the tender appeal of love,
Like a waterfall. The earth is gushing.
As for me, as usual,
the rain has passed and the sun’s light is brighter.
“We are together. When we arrived at the Taihang Mountain base area,
at the beginning, our life was also very interesting.
I am the cultural instructor of the divisional security company,
He works as a propaganda officer in the divisional political department,
We live very close to each other every time we camp,< /p>
He spends almost every rest day by my side.
At that time, the situation behind enemy lines was not very tense.
We often went to the valley to talk about love and past events.
“However, the environment will change people’s habits after all.
I gradually lost the tenderness of women.
I found it among the simple peasant women. I no longer blush when I hear the rude words of farmers.
I don’t like to remember my past more and more.
I am more interested in it. Discussing the war with the soldiers
I also became unkempt in my life.
My hair was covered with a military cap and my belt was tied around my waist. "I found that every change in my life and thoughts aroused his faint uneasiness and contempt.
Once, I said: ‘Look, I have become a wild girl. ’
He sighed: ‘Oh, I love you more than before! '
However, his enthusiasm for me has not diminished.
On the contrary, he seems even closer than before.
He is not even willing to leave me for a day.
When I interact with lesbians, he is a little jealous. ”
“So, has there been no change in his thinking? "
Xiaoyun had been listening attentively, and suddenly interrupted.
"No, his change is more profound.
Of course, he is better than I want it to be several times more complicated.
On the surface, he is much more honest:
In the most lively situations, he always remains silent.
To the people around him, Comrade, he is gentle and polite.
In front of the organization, he appears to be very obedient.
“However, there is a huge contradiction in his heart.
This contradiction is deeply hidden in his soul.
After I was approved to join the party The day before,
It broke out, but it lasted only a moment.
I first hinted to him: 'We will all join the party,
join the party earlier. It doesn't necessarily mean he's advanced. '
His senses are really sharp,
his eyes are wide open and there are deep wrinkles on his forehead.
"But. He suddenly calmed down again and said coldly: 'This is not surprising at all.
People and things will always develop according to inherent laws.
< p>It’s just that sometimes it develops too fast. ’I said: ‘Then, you should actively strive for it.
We might as well have a competition on this road. ’
He smiled contemptuously and beat his head:
‘I have a head that is always lagging behind! '
"These strange words really made me angry,
but I still tried my best to control myself at the time.
I think I probably hurt his male penis again. I felt proud,
I said: 'This is a political issue, not a child's play'
He suddenly laughed like crazy:
'Yes. Yes, this is my mistake.
I was originally a horse in the desert,
I wanted to ride on the waves of the ocean. '
" To be honest, I didn't fully understand what he said at the time,
but I hated his strange expression.
I was excited: ‘Don’t think you are great,
Think about what you have done for the people! '
On the contrary, he seemed calm.
His big sharp eyes flashed:
'First, you must first give me the conditions for meritorious service. ,
Second, it also depends on whether I am happy or not. '
"This passage aroused my great anger,
I screamed without any scruples:
'How despicable, you said Is that human talk?
Thanks to the common people for feeding you! '
My voice alerted the comrades around me,
They came with good intentions! To mediate our quarrel.
He took this opportunity to quietly walk away, and asked someone to send me a note the next day.
"The note read: 'Warmly congratulate you, good sons and daughters of the glorious Communist Party.
You are also the place where my life depends.
Without you, I lose the courage to live.
Please wait patiently. ,
Slowly, I may be able to shorten the distance with you.
Dear, I have become the grass in the storm,
Don’t give me too much stimulation! ...'
"Not only out of love, but also out of pity,
I immediately went to his residence to inquire about him.
As soon as he saw me His gentle face,
tears fell on the dark clothes
Hey, his posture was full of pain,
It touched my feminine heart again.
Since then, we have reconciled,
Even though there is another rift between us. ”
"Hey, a woman's heart is really made of glue.
If you fall in love with someone, you won't let go."
Xiao Yun sighed to himself, < /p>
As if sinking into her own memories again.
At this moment, the noise outside stopped.
On the table, the hour hand of the horseshoe watch pointed to twelve o'clock.
The stars sank in the black sky one after another,
The moonlight covered the earth like snow.
"At that time, there was no talk of abandonment.
I never even thought about separation from him.
When I heard his kind of Meaningful words,
I did suffer and was surprised.
However, I will never think of the worst,
I am convinced that everything has a happy ending,
And in that boiling fighting life,
p>
Love is getting lower and lower in my body.
"My main weakness is that I am naive and ignorant.
I do not understand the complex life and society.
Xiaoyun, you are as simple as I was then. ,
This ordinary story is worth recalling.
Okay, I will omit the details.
I will only tell you the extraordinary ending of the story. .
Hey, I have never been willing to talk about this.
It’s not because of attachment, but because of regret.
“Spring, in the valley. The river has thawed.
The flowing water is like a baby, making a sound like a nursery rhyme.
The battlefield is sometimes extremely quiet.
Even the stones on the mountain seem to be floating in the air. Meditate.
At this time, news suddenly came from Jifeixin.
It was said that the enemy had launched a spring 'big sweep'.
As a result, the entire base area was moved.
The flow of the river also seemed extremely busy.
"This sweep is no better than before.
The enemy's strength is at least one division.
Five arrows point to our hinterland.
The main force of our army will be surrounded and annihilated by separate attacks.
The battle started on a cloudy dawn.
The artillery fire shook every hilltop.
There are no people in the spring fields,
Thick smoke rises from the enemy-occupied villages
“Our headquarters has arranged countermeasures,< /p>
The actions of the troops are really mysterious.
During the day, we hid in the dense mountain forests,
talking, laughing, sleeping, waiting for the sun to set after dark;
At night, we ran on the dangerous terrain On the mountain road, one goes north and then turns south.
The will to fight is like the rolling Yangtze River, but the route we walk is like the Yellow River.
"Three days, five days, seven days, and nine days passed.
The hearts of the soldiers were filled with anxiety and eagerness to fight.
When a child who has lost his mother The cry
The echo from the valley lingered in our ears,
When the old man walked hesitantly on the mountain road
Because of fear and exhaustion, we Falling in front of us,
We always look at the gun on our shoulders in pain,
My heart, which is heavier than the gun, is beating like crazy...
"On the morning of the tenth day, artillery fire rang out from all directions.
The rattling sound of machine guns became vague and gradually became clearer.
We know that the day of fighting has arrived,
but we are clearly in a situation of being surrounded.
At noon, the correspondent sent an order from the superior:
Tell our company to drive up the mountain to prepare for an attack!
The soldiers' eyes flashed with anger,
with a rush, they ran up the mountain like tigers.
“Oh, I almost forgot the protagonist of this story.
At the foot of the mountain, I saw him from a distance,
He stood The team next to them waved to me frequently, but I didn’t have time to greet him.
When I climbed to the mountainside, I looked back involuntarily...
p>Hey, the sensitive instructor discovered this scene,
He said to me in a commanding tone:
'Go down! '< /p>
“I felt that I had been embarrassed and insulted,
I pretended not to hear and took quick steps.
At this time, the shells fell like hail in front,
The smoke and dust blocked my way like a long embankment.
And the machine gun bullets carried shrill hisses
over our mountains and falling into the valley.
Oh, this sudden encounter really frightened me.
I sat on the hillside and my eyes were blurry.
"When I woke up a little,
Our company had already climbed to the top of the mountain.
I suddenly thought that it would be nice if he was by my side.
However, he followed their team into the ravine
I wanted to ask the instructor to help me,
But I, a woman, Should I fall behind?
A warrior's consciousness revived my courage,
I ran forward and joined the battle...
"The sun. As we continued to sink westward, the battle became more and more intense.
The enemy obviously wanted to annihilate us before dark.
Our outer positions fell one by one,
Intense artillery fire poured down on our mountain,
The wild shouts of the Japanese soldiers,
p>
The howling of wolves has not stopped.
When the enemy launched the fifth charge,
It was getting dark and a new moon appeared over the mountain.
"While the enemy's attack has no signs of declining,
there is only a high mountain top left in our hands.
All our troops have been compressed here ,
Set up your position and hold on here
When the fiercest charge was defeated,
There was a roar from the enemy's position. ,
It is said that this is a 'victory' cheer,
meaning that a group of lives were saved due to darkness.
"The mountain after the battle is a scene. A strange picture,
Blood mixed with hatred, groans and laughter.
Here is the shadow of someone announcing a meeting.
There are nurses bandaging the wounds of wounded soldiers.
Some people fell asleep in the grass,
Some people wiped their weapons in the moonlight.
As for me, I have my own heavy heart,
I can’t wait to find him in the crowd...
“I can’t live without anxious suspense,
Suspense for the life safety of the people I love.
I found the team of the Political Department,
People said: He just walked outside the team
I looked in the direction they pointed,
Oh, a black shadow was shaking slightly there.
Looking ahead, there was a deep valley.
It was him, standing on the edge of the cliff.
"I screamed in surprise and joy. stood up:
'Oh, you are such a weird person!
Why don't you go to me?
I thought: Maybe you really had an accident... ’
His sharp eyes flashed towards me,
Oh, his face looked nervous and pale in the moonlight!
But he didn't say a word.
He lowered his head and stared at the deep valley in a daze.
"I think he must be angry because of my indifference.
I should explain to him tactfully.
I said: 'This I actually participated in the battle,
Because I was a member of the company, and it was my duty to do so.
In fact, when I was about to fire the first bullet,
>My hand that pulled the bolt was really trembling.
But when I pointed at the enemy and pulled the trigger for the second time,
I only felt that I was just executing '
"He suddenly said: 'I am only interested in one thing,
that is, why don't you forget about me soon?" ’
I was greatly surprised: ‘Why do you think so?
Is there any hypocrisy in my love for you? ’
He said: ‘I believe that you haven’t abandoned me until now,
but that’s because the old memories have not faded. ’
I said angrily: ‘If you have an opinion, just say it directly.
I will definitely listen, don’t be so meandering! '
"He said: 'Well, the time is coming, and there is not much to say.
Unfortunately, I have never had a good talk with you.
In the past, I always thought that you were as simple as a blank piece of paper.
In fact, this was all my stupidity and fault.
You are the real master of this era.< /p>
You are content with this era and are completely attuned to it;
As for me, I belong to another era.
In this world, I am nothing more than a businessman. '
"I was even more surprised. I hugged his waist tightly,
I said: 'Why are you in such a low mood?' '
'Listen, don't interrupt me again,
I say this because I regret your undiminished loyalty,
To commemorate you A wasted love due to lack of understanding,
Thank you for your unwelcome concern for me,
Although between me now and you in the future,
What will be preserved will not be friendship, but hatred. '
"'I won't listen, how terrible you are!'
I screamed in terror and looked straight at him.
He Nodding calmly: 'Okay, in order to make you feel at ease,
I won't say anything that will overly irritate you.
My dear, I really can't live without you,
< p>However, there is a world of difference between you and me.I once wanted to bring you closer to my heart.
I myself also tried to change in your direction. < /p>
“'However, all efforts failed,
The arrangement of fate is so unshakable.
The affluent life in my youth,
cultivated my sense of superiority and aloofness;
my acumen and intelligent talents,
It also contributed to my aloof character.
How can my egoistic nature be reconciled with your fighting collective?
"'You may want to ask: Why did I come to the revolution?
That's because the reactionary rule suppressed me.
In that darkness I have no way out in this society,
That’s why I asked the revolution for my reward
Of course I can pay everything,
But. That is just for my personal needs.
Only when my desires are satisfied first,
I will be willing to create heroic achievements.
" 'It was you who brought me to the outpost of this revolutionary war,
and the struggle here was so sharp that I had no time to think again
Do you want me to exchange obedience and self-sacrifice for glory? ?
In my opinion, that was just too serious a joke.
Of course, I don’t blame you or blame you.
This is the ridicule of the times for intellectuals like me.
I may be a good person in governing the world, but
in these turbulent days, I can only play the leading role in tragedy.
"'I have no doubt that you will win the final victory,
However, this victory does not belong to me;
I will never deny it. , you have always cared for me kindly,
However, this kind of care has only deepened my hostility.
Of course, I do not want to be a revolutionary traitor,
Because that is as meaningless to me as revolution.
I sincerely respect you and envy you.
You understand the joy of fighting and the value of life. < /p>
“'However, don’t think that I still have any pain
All I have is a little fear of pain.
I am afraid of being shot to death during the breakout,
Because that is too inconsistent with my life ambition;
I am afraid that you will one day cut off For my love,
Because no one even watched my life end at that time;
I was afraid of the days of endless revolution and struggle,
Because , that is a journey without a destination for me. '...
"His calm and shocking words stopped immediately,
but my heart was still being tortured and I couldn't figure it out.
Suddenly, There was a low echo in the valley,
It was like a rock falling from the sea.
I looked around unconsciously,
Oh, he. The familiar figure has disappeared.
Xiaoyun, I was completely confused at that time.
I thought: What did he do when he jumped down the mountain?
"Oh, what a deep, deep valley this is.
Above, it is covered with a layer of gray gauze-like smoke.
Below, there is a bleak and cold valley. In the moonlight,
tall trees like black clouds were revealed.
So, where is my man, where is my man?
Is he already asleep under a big tree?
No, no. When I woke up,
I fell down on the edge of the cliff and cried bitterly...
“I cried wildly and endlessly.
Suddenly, a harsh rebuke sounded in my ears:
‘Don’t cry, don’t. Cry!
If you cry again, I will shoot you!'
I raised my head and looked at the sound -
It was our instructor angrily. Standing there.
Ah, I didn’t feel insulted at all.
On the contrary, I felt a huge support.
“But the instructor was angry. It didn't subside.
He continued to reprimand: 'You turn out to be a coward!
Stand up! ...stand up! ……stand at attention!
What are you afraid of? Although we were surrounded by the enemy,
but precisely because we attracted the enemy's troops,
our main force went around the enemy's rear and wiped out one of its regiments.
Tonight, we will fight together inside and outside.
Quick, go to the team and have a good sleep! '
"I stopped crying. I told him in a low voice:
'My lover just committed suicide by jumping off a cliff!'
He walked over in surprise. He looked down and said: 'It's too deep, there is no way!
... It's a pity that this is a learned man,
But He is also a weak and incompetent fool.
Let’s go! What if we rebel, run away, and be passive?
The revolution will still take root and blossom. At this time, my courage rose again, and my mind was completely clear again.
I followed him into our heroic company,
I ran with them down the mountain,
We broke through the enemy's heavy blockade,
p>
Our main force came to support us again.
In an unfamiliar small village on the plain,
We ushered in a beautiful and clear dawn.
"Xiaoyun, I have told you all about my experience.
There is one more thing I must explain to you clearly:
The instructor I just mentioned,< /p>
He is my current husband.
Of course he is also a very ordinary person,
But we are on the same path in life. < /p>
I fell in love with him after a long period of consideration.
You know, our life is very happy."
Xiao Yun opened her eyes with a clear smile. His spiritual eyes
showed an exciting and thoughtful expression:
“How complicated life is!
Of course, my experience is not the same as yours. Not exactly the same."
At this time, the temperature in the room has dropped,
the kettle on the stove has stopped snoring, and the moon in the sky is slowly setting. ,
In the distance, there were bursts of cock crows.
……