Text/Bao Limin
On the long road, I sometimes stop and think about whether my current appearance is what I once dreamed of, what I longed for back then, what I imagined. Have I ever met my future self one by one?
In every season of life, there will be the most beautiful blooms. This is the hope in our hearts and the most beautiful outlook for the future. But along the way, when growth and maturity come with the wind, sea and rain of the world, we often fail to meet the self we imagined, or even find ourselves. On the contrary, by constantly looking back, I can always encounter the best version of myself in the past. We will not see each other in the future, but we will only know them in the past. However, it is no longer a meeting, but a miss.
It turns out that we are always passing by the best version of ourselves. Is it that we are becoming less and less good, or are we not discovering what was good at the time? So I always miss it again and again, always lingering in looking back. It is very likely that we have been thinking too ideally about the future. When the bumps along the way extend to the place we once dreamed of, we lose our once pure eyes and state of mind, so we cannot find ourselves.
Once, a friend told us excitedly that she accidentally looked through many diaries of her youth, and there were many thoughts about the future and descriptions of herself in the future. She looked at it for a long time and then reflected on herself over the years and now. She felt that everything she had imagined had almost come true, and she felt a sense of satisfaction and joy in her heart. Suddenly, I discovered that life is so lovely, not as boring and helpless as I saw in my complaints in the past.
Suddenly I remembered that when I was in school, I had longed to write down my future self. I really don’t know how I would feel when I saw the words I wrote and the scenes I sketched. . I wonder if I will be like that friend, like a clear spring flowing through my heart, washing away the dust of the years, the vicissitudes and numbness, and brightening my love for life.
Last year, when I returned to my hometown, I dug out dozens of diaries from my student days. Looking at them one by one, I found that the desire for growth was so urgent at that time. Many diaries contained fantasies about it. Those unknown days. When I was young, I was full of poetry and thought that all days would be full of fun. Even if there were ups and downs, it would still be a rare beauty that touches my heart. That kind of feeling seems like a lifetime ago when I think about it now. In my diary, I will have so many things to do in the future, so many places to visit, and so many people to love. Suddenly, in a diary, I saw a letter written to my future self.
"As you approach middle age, have you turned your vicissitudes into happiness? Have you turned your memories into no regrets? Have you turned your busyness into fulfillment?"
It was unexpected for a while. I was sweating profusely, and the question that spanned time and space fell into my heart now, and it was so enlightening. I can't answer, but I could think of so many things when I was young. In my clear heart, all the things I once understood have disappeared without a trace in the passage of time. Some are just complaining, just drifting with the tide, unable to look back, and dare not look forward. , hesitated in a helpless state of mind.
"I hope that when I meet you, you will not be desperate, numb, or lonely. You will always have beautiful hope in your heart and will not be infected by the years."
At that time, I walked into the hotel. On my own path, I still had a lot of perseverance and perseverance in my heart at the beginning. When did I lose it? While looking through the diary, most of the wishes I had made have come true, but what about happiness and satisfaction? When did you let your desires lead you, but ignore the temperature of your dreams? Suddenly I realized that although I was walking on the path I had thought about, I was no longer in the state of mind I had thought about, so I couldn't find the best version of myself when I came here.
Perhaps, many times, desires will be cloaked in dreams, making it difficult for us to distinguish them. In a daze, it seems that we are still actively working hard, but there is no true happiness and satisfaction in our hearts. So I always feel that it is not good enough, I always feel that I can’t get what I want, but I ignore that I have already received too much. So cherish every day in front of you, then not only will you have no regrets when you look back, but you will also see your own warm figure when you look forward.
We didn’t realize our own goodness at the time, so we wouldn’t come from the past to encounter it. If we can't find ourselves, it's because our hearts are covered with dust and we can't meet the best version of ourselves, or because our eyes are fascinated by the five colors.
"In short, no matter what you were at that time, I will always think you are the best. Even if many dreams come true, even if there are many hardships, as long as you are there, I want to meet you!"
p>At this moment, I feel that I have really met myself, and it is the best.
It turns out that my steps have always been in dreams, but my state of mind is outside dreams, so I am often wandering and confused, wasting countless today. I believe that every tomorrow with my presence is the best day, and I will meet countless smiling selves.