It is a four-hour drive from Xining to Delingha, and the sun penetrates the car from high in the sky due south. I lay on the table and squinted at the window:
The desert and lakes spread out to the end, without any bumps or coverings. Looking up slightly, I saw the sun being lifted high like a torch, forming a bright cave in the sky. Under the excessively strong illumination, the world is extremely brilliant. A pure white.
That is all things reflecting sunlight with maximum power.
Haizi said, I have three kinds of happiness, poetry, throne, and sun. Only when you come to the plateau, especially the desolate Gobi, will you know what he said about the happiness of the sun - white, hot, penetrating everything, washing everything, gilding the land, and making the world ripple with sparkling light. .
When we arrived in downtown Delingha in the evening, the sky became overcast, and the clouds accumulated layer by layer, turning gray. It is different from the thin and scattered gray caused by smoke. Under such clouds, the world is dim, but such gray clouds give the world a layer of dark color, making it appear clearer, just like What it looks like after being soaked in water.
The sun may be too close and the dark clouds cannot block it. It was like a fireball, penetrating the clouds inch by inch, and finally broke through it, fainting tiredly.
The sunlight is thick and dense, without the dazzling beams of light, it looks extremely gentle. I raised my camera and recorded the unobtrusive sunlight at this moment, and the empty road that received this sunlight and instantly darkened its tone.
Looking up again, the low sky is vast, extending infinitely into the distance.
"There is nothing in the sky, so why give me comfort."
The driver who took me to the city was a dark and thin man with protruding bones on his face and dark pupils. He has been following me since he got out of the station, and kept asking: "Where are we going? Where are we going? Where are we going - ah!!" When he dragged me to the car, he just said I wanted to say the address - he actually did! slip! cigarette! He ran off to solicit other business!
Soon another driver came over:
"Come with us, we will set off soon."
I didn't expect that the black and thin driver would see it. Observing the situation on the Sixth Road, before I had time to reply, he stood under the three characters "Delingha" and waved vigorously, shouting:
"Don't follow him! You are mine!"
This unexpected “confession” made me completely confused!
Later in the car, he muttered with great grievance: "It took me a long time to pull someone like you, but they still wanted to fight with me!"
That night I When I was bored and gnawing on chicken feet, I suddenly thought: marry such a simple, humorous, dark man, who will be happy to death because he gets a customer, and will be depressed to death because he can't get a customer. Should be a good thing. In that case, when you wake up every morning and face the bright sun, you will hear your lover's heartfelt sigh in your ears: "It's a sunny day again, how nice it is!".
Dancing because of a sunny day, and dancing because of a heavy rain. It is really a good way to live!
Enthusiasm is really a great thing!
The warm yellow light of the hotel reflected the evening in Delingha outside the window, which was very beautiful and romantic. However, I gnawed on the chicken feet in an unromantic way, which was so spicy that I burst into tears.
I remembered the time before last when I took an iron pot to warm a cup of plum wine with her. We chatted and talked, staring into each other's eyes very seriously, as if in this way we could both understand and understand each other, eliminate all barriers, and live happily together from now on.
Unfortunately, even if you listen carefully and speak, you can only rely on your own guesses, nod seriously, and misunderstand again and again.
In the face of long time, we are powerless. You can remember the childhood stories she told, but you can't grasp the changes, growth, and perspective of the world that those days brought to her - the really important things, you can't even "hear".
Because of the intimacy, this problem is more obviously exposed. When you open your heart to the other person countless times, you only find that they can't find the entrance.
When the temperature was below zero that year, you held the cold glass bottle in your hand and refused to rest until you were too sleepy to open your eyes.
I will remember this warm moment in my heart.
In this way, you have not been forgotten. Unfortunately, what I thought I would remember was the communication, understanding, and understanding between you and me.
Walking on the road in Delingha. It's clear from one end to the other. Because it is so empty, it takes a long walk to get to places that seem very close. ——We can never truly understand the world with our eyes. We can only rely on our legs and the familiar strangeness when we look back after arriving.
People dotted the vast territory of Delingha, like a string of beads dropped by God.
——We have always been deceived by cities. In fact, we are so few in this world.
There is a small forest located in a pit. The branches are not strong, but straight and thin, as if the thin air allows them to grow so easily and softly.
Going further, I saw the Bayin River, which was also thin and graceful like a southern creek.
I was very surprised - the river water was so bright! The gray background is inexplicably coupled with a dazzling blue streak, which is incompatible with its surroundings. ——Clean and clear, unlike the rough creation of nature in the northwest plateau.
There are patches of pine trees growing on the Gobi desert on both sides of the road. The pine needles feel like plastic, soft and warm, as crisp as a plant should, and the coolness does not leave a trace on it. There are clusters of thorn flowers under the tree, spreading wildly. They were frozen and dried up before they withered, turning into the same earth-yellow color.
I can’t remember its delicate appearance in the warm season. I only see its vicissitudes and hardness. It has been polished by the sun and cold wind. This rough appearance - as if it has never been This is the case and will always be the case. I don’t know if I will come to Delingha again in the future. If I come back and see the fresh and tender thorn flowers that attract bees and butterflies, will there be a moment when I feel like I have seen the world turned upside down.
But the world is stable, spring, summer, autumn and winter, day and night. It's just mysterious and beyond my imagination.
At noon the next day, I walked along the road from the city to the suburban train station. The wind was so strong! I wrapped my mouth and head tightly, so it kept pouring into my eyes. I had to cover my eyes with my hands again. The two-and-a-half-hour walk was extremely hard.
There was no one around me, and the occasional vehicle came and roared away.
After entering the station, I sat in the waiting room. Because I was so hungry, I ate bangbang buns, melon seeds, bread, and milk in one go. Still not full, I bought instant noodles and brought them to the car---" "Walking and eating", my memory of Delingha may be fixed on these two words in the future, instead of what I thought:
"I don't care about human beings, I only want you"
The return train started in the evening and entered the night. Snowflakes drifted on the road, dyeing the mountains white. I looked out from the window and felt novel about encountering the snow-capped mountains for the first time. After passing through the tunnel again, the cyan color of night suddenly fell on the snow, the mountain peaks were suddenly hidden, and the wilderness was boundless.
The white color extends to the distance, extends, extends, to the place where it is still pure white, extending in vain and aimlessly---
I almost shed tears. How many times in this life can we witness the helplessness of nature with our own eyes, with the pouring rain, the barren grass, and the endless whiteness now, what else can we use to express its helpless pain that is too huge to express.
Tonight, the snow is in full bloom where only passers-by can see it.
I think there are countless kinds of loneliness in the world, such as no companionship, no comfort, no hope - but what Delingha brings is different from them. ——It is a kind of loneliness that arises spontaneously in the vast land. It has nothing to do with being alone and having a barren heart. It has something to do with you standing here and looking up to see the strong sunlight in the thick clouds. It has something to do with the endless roads, snow-capped mountains, and rivers. It has something to do with the rocks, and it has something to do with the tears you shed for no apparent reason. ——
“Words are tumbling in my heart, inspiration is tapping on my vocal cords, desire is tearing at my voice, and all I can do is cry.”
——And it It has something to do with being caught in the soul by this world but unable to express it in words.
Perhaps, maybe one day in the future, I will be in this little-known city again and see the light falling from the cracks in the curtains on the table, and I will suddenly understand what he said:
What is the meaning of "birds singing in the morning is like a happy life".
Maybe I will not get involved in this again, I will not read Haizi's poems again, and I will not stop because of "Tonight I only have the Gobi, and at the end of the grassland, I have empty hands. When I am sad, I can't hold a teardrop." "Feeling sad. All this will disappear into my mediocre life like a dream.
Perhaps, I will always remember the pure white snow, the oil-painted blue-green Bayin River, the thin branches, and the messy thorn flowers, but what can I do? After all, I cannot accurately convey the shock it brings me to the next person who drinks with me until dawn.
It is such a lonely thing to be deeply moved.
So, Delingha.
Hello, bye.