I came here by invitation, but after reading your question, I felt there was no need to write it, because poetry cannot solve the problem:
In a leaflet, the words are never eye-catching. Things, if the leaflet is full of words, no matter how good the poem is, it will be of no use. Moreover, your poem cannot attract everyone. First, the language is too plain and has no meter. Second, the language of the poem itself is confusing. It can make people disgusted. The key point is the subsequent registration. The tone itself is bad.
A truly good flyer attracts attention through various forms of expression. The more vivid the better, such as humorous comic strips, etc. However, the essential content cannot be utilitarian and must stand on the basis of From a customer's perspective, if you are persuading others to sign up, I personally think that no matter how well you do it, others will just look at it and the effect will not be good.
Sorry for my humble opinion!