A love letter to an online boyfriend.

I love you very much! I really want to be with you, even if I can only look at you quietly, I am satisfied. You gave me a minute of happiness and a minute of great happiness. There is nothing more memorable for me. I thank you with infinite tenderness, and I will always love you with infinite tenderness. Whenever night comes, I always feel lonely and scared, which makes me very uncomfortable. I always feel depressed and can't even breathe. I can only let my body wander in the street like a ghost in the dark, and let my soul wander on the internet, looking for my so-called liberation and venting my dissatisfaction. I am not the most beautiful flower, but I want to be happy for you ... I want to be in full bloom ... I have been waiting for you for a long time, waiting for you to fall asleep. A love letter to an online boyfriend. I believe in fate, not to find an excuse for laziness when I am tired, nor to find a suitable excuse when the vicissitudes of life finally turn into clouds, but after exhausting all explanations. Meeting is fate, leaving is fate, and you and I, my beloved online lovers, have only love, not marriage. For you, I have always loved you regardless of the future, no matter how long I love you, even though I knew from the beginning that falling into this relationship would definitely make me farther and farther away from the original intention of being relaxed and happy. The reserved reason made me hesitate several times. I'm afraid you will get hurt if you love me too much, and I'm even more afraid that I will hurt myself if I love you too much. But the more I try to control it, the more I can't. My feelings for you are rising like the tide, and there is no time to fade. I am like a clockwork alarm clock, ticking away without thinking. Although I still eat and go to work as usual, I will always think of you. In one dark night after another, I feel lonely without your company, but loneliness is just a feeling that I can't understand and taste. This is a self-trapping net, an unfathomable trap. I couldn't get rid of it, so I began to learn to endure loneliness and learn to taste loneliness. I carefully enjoy every happiness and gentleness with you. Any trace of throbbing has become a treasure in my diary. I treat all our time together with happiness and peace. I became a willful, impulsive, stupid and unscrupulous person. Children are willing to lose everything for a beautiful moment. I never want to verify what you said, and I seldom ask you anything, because I can't hold too much hope or expect too much from this relationship. Between you and me, it's just a sincere game, a game that can be long or short, a game that doesn't harm people, because the game can be serious, because nothing can be accomplished in the game, because the game can be far away from truth and reality, and only in this way will it not make you too heavy. For example, watching a sad movie, tears just flow silently in the dark. I really play this game with you. The true love in my heart fills my heart with softness and warmth. I love you, silly, without hesitation or regret. Joy and sadness are borne by me alone, just like a youthful dream. Maybe it won't be long before I wonder if this really happened, because we are too far apart. It's just that the chat records and emails left in the computer will remind me that they are true. In the light of countless quiet nights, in front of the window, when my loved ones are sleeping gently, I will miss you silently, so that my thoughts will be myriad and my heart will surge. I still don't want to tell anyone that I am lovesick alone. However, acacia is too bitter, like a cup of strong black coffee, which makes me upset. It seems that weeds are spreading in my heart, filling my heart and squeezing me to lose myself except you.