One looks like her mother, watching her mobile phone, and her face is indifferent. Two grandparents look like each other. One is holding the child to wake him up, talking about something, only to see the child suddenly jump up and throw away his mother's mobile phone. The mother went to pick it up and kept looking. No response. Grandpa said something and even went up to call her. ...
What happened in the end, which made the boy so furious that he threatened to kill with a knife and commit suicide. Tik Tok didn't specify it. It seems that such a trivial matter happened only because the staff didn't agree with him to open the car when he was doing nucleic acid. The child's wild words and indifference to each other and his own life made people very angry and shocked. What's wrong with the child now? How could he do such a heinous thing!
There are also many criticisms in the comment area, saying that children need to be beaten, that parents lack discipline, and that children are destroyed. The child was furious overnight, and even the parents didn't expect the fire to be so disgraceful! I think parents are very anxious and helpless when their children are like this. Which parents want their children to not only cause trouble to themselves, but also to the society! I guess this family's emotional treatment and guidance for children's spiritual development are lacking, which leads to such consequences.
1, emotional guidance
Teacher Sun Ruixue's Complete Growth of Children's Life-Self-creation points out that most parents rely on their heads (reasoning) to solve problems when they are with their children. Because the truth in their minds occupied a dominant position for a while, they no longer realized their emotions, feelings, psychology and cognition, and they no longer understood their children's emotions, feelings, psychology and brain. Because I don't know this, I don't know that I can tell my children my psychology and feelings.
At this time, parents often only speak, speak the language of the mind (reason), and the child has been suppressed, which has caused confrontation. Finally, children don't know themselves, only know that they are not good. After a long time, children will inevitably become such adults when they grow up.
Therefore, when a child is confronted with dissatisfied people and loses his temper for the first time, parents should help the child to express his inner feelings, such as "You are angry", "You feel angry", "You feel wronged", "You look a little sad", "You look a little depressed" and "You look a little lonely". This is the first sentence that children feel understood after listening to their parents. The second sentence: "Be angry if you want to be angry" makes children have emotions; The third sentence: "Mom is with you" expresses love and makes children feel safe and accepted.
As Professor Li Meijin said, when a child makes trouble for no reason and cries loudly, take the child to a safe and empty room and close the door. There is no need to beat and scold the child or reason with him, because at this time, the child simply won't listen. Just tell the child, "I think you are very uncomfortable. You can cry if you want. Mom is with you. You can cry as long as you want. " Even if the child is rolling at this time, don't stop it, just look at the child with a smile.
The child cried for a while, but his mother didn't respond, and his voice softened. His mother might as well say, "Why don't you cry?" Keep crying if you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't matter. "Let the child cry, but the child won't cry. When the child calms down slowly, the mother will take a towel, wipe the child's face and let the child sit down. If the child wants to sleep, let him sleep for a while, and then reason with him when he wakes up, telling him that his mother loves him, why not promise him and why not do as he says.
Crying is actually the natural flow of children's emotions. If children are made to cry, bad emotions will be taken away like a river. Children need this process. As long as adults don't suppress him, they will naturally handle their emotions. With such feelings, children will not be controlled by emotions such as rage. They will gradually learn to express their emotions, share their emotional sources, learn to listen to other people's different emotional reasons, and learn to integrate their emotions.
When the child is at home, his parents are indifferent to his emotions. When the child is angry, parents look at the mobile phone and ignore the child. Grandparents give children whatever they want, and children will not deal with it when they are angry. He just wanted to blackmail adults by crying.
No one can interpret and tell children's emotions, and children naturally cannot interpret others' hearts and emotions. In fact, when he was rolling around on the ground shouting "This society is a garbage man", everyone he saw was saying "You are a garbage man", but the child had no feeling at all. This is really a sad thing. Adults need children to be sensible, but children never know what adults are thinking and don't care about him.
2. Spiritual guidance
Is the final result of emotional flow necessarily helpful to life? Yes! Natural flow always urges people to get an answer close to the truth, whether about the external world or about the internal world. This seems to be the predetermined law of life, but there is also a condition that it must flow to the last node-spirit, that is, truth, goodness and beauty.
Spiritual acquisition is the spiritual product created by human beings, and it is music, painting, literature, philosophy, poetry ... and it is pure spirit. So reading is so important, especially reading classic books, which nourishes and grows the spirit in a continuous environment. Reading before going to bed and letting children fall asleep during reading are the best memories of every child's childhood. Children will devote all their energy to listening to their mothers or fathers reading or telling stories. Therefore, if you can continue to tell stories to your children before going to bed, you are a well-deserved excellent mom and dad.
/kloc-Children before the age of 0/2 like watching cartoons. These films directly nourish children's spirit and make up for the lack of spiritual life in family life. Just choose a very good film suitable for children, which requires strict control by parents. Anything that is violent and unsuitable for children will be taken away, and children will be accepted in crying. If you provide children with classic cartoons from the beginning, once the spirit is constructed, the children will refuse the dross. Good comics are movies of the mind.
There is music. Get up early in the morning and let the music wake up the children. It is best to use DVD as the carrier. Beautiful pictures are accompanied by beautiful music. If you get up in the morning and let the children sit there and watch 10-20 minutes, you will find that the children are completely immersed in the music scene and feel the beauty and emotion of music. The emotional state of a day begins with a spirit. When it's time to eat, if you need comfort and quiet, you can listen to Chopin's piano, violin and cello music, which slowly rises and falls, so that children can get comfort in their hearts. ...
And paintings, especially classic paintings. Hanging so many paintings (non-original works) at home will make children stare. They can not only understand them, but also give them a beautiful appreciation. ...
If all this is done, then after 12 years old, when puberty comes, children will provide spiritual food for themselves and become spiritual interlocutors and sharers.
A child can't lack spirit in the family. If what he sees at home is only violent movies or games, if his parents have never told him beautiful stories, if he has never listened to music, if he has never experienced truth, goodness and beauty, then he doesn't know what spirit is, and he can't express truth, goodness and beauty.