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"Such a true love only comes once in a lifetime."
This touching and poignant confession comes from the movie "The Bridge of Lost Dreams".
However, such a beautiful and romantic love is a forbidden love that is not recognized by society. This film tells the story of an ordinary housewife and a free and uninhibited photographer in Madison County, USA. A story about an extramarital affair.
One day in the summer, her husband and children went out to participate in activities, and the housewife Francesca was alone at home. She slept leisurely on a recliner, listened to music, blew the cool summer breeze, and enjoyed A rare moment of leisure. ?
It was at noon when the sun was the hottest, Francesca met photographer Robert Kincaid who drove to the door of his house and came to ask for directions. The enthusiastic Francesca offered to help him As a guide, Robert specially gave her a bouquet of wild flowers to express his gratitude. Francesca thought Robert was a gentleman and a good man, so she invited him to her home for dinner.
Over time, the two fell in love with each other and spent four passionate and unforgettable days together, which led to a long-lasting love affair.
This 1996 extramarital affair movie that became popular all over the world - "The Bridge" was nominated for an Oscar and was selected as one of the top ten of the year by Cahiers du Cinéma. Many people commented that this is one of the few movies that depicts extramarital affairs in such a touching way.
The short four days of falling in love made the hero and heroine miss each other for a lifetime.
Does love really have such great magic power? ?
I do not deny whether there is true love between Francesca and Robert, and I am even deeply touched like many people. But I think that compared with the extramarital affair that moved the two of them, the reasons behind the heroine's cheating are actually more worthy of consideration.
Because it is clear that Francesca has an easy life and a happy family. Her husband Richard has a large farm in the American countryside. The family lives in a beautiful garden house, and the children also She is very well-behaved and her husband is reliable, loyal and considerate. She has almost all the earthly happiness that every woman desires, but she still cheated on her with the 65-year-old photographer Robert at a not too young age (probably in her 40s), and she spent the rest of her life with him. They are all trapped in this unrequited feeling. What exactly is this for?
After watching the movie twice, I found that there are three main reasons:
01
Francesca was originally a romantic and beautiful Italian girl. After marrying her honest and loyal American husband Richard, she followed him to the small town of Madison in the United States, and the two lived an ordinary and stable life together.
Maybe there was love between the two at the beginning, but love is the thing that cannot stand the test of time and ordinary life. In the trivial and mediocre day after day, the love that was once was finally It became a pool of stagnant water.
Such a marriage may seem happy and stable to outsiders, but in fact, it is already full of crises inside. As long as the outside world throws a pebble into it, this pool of stagnant water will create ripples.
Robert's unexpected intrusion ignited the strong desire for love in middle-aged married woman Francesca.
There is a small detail in the movie. To thank Francesca for leading him, Robert specially picked a bouquet of daisies and gave it to her. When Francesca took the flowers that Robert handed her, At that time, she was flattered. Her husband probably hasn't sent her flowers for a long time. ?
It must have been at that moment that Francesca fell in love with Robert.
There is another scene. Under the Roman Bridge, Robert picked up the camera and took many photos of Francesca in front of him. Obviously, he wanted to take Francesca, this Beautiful women always stay in their own cameras.
Being admired so closely by a strange man, Francesca looked shy. The long-lost girl's heart surges again. She felt a long-lost love between a man and a woman.
However, what about her and her husband Richard?
When Robert asked about her husband, her answer was: "He is a good person, responsible, noble and reliable", but she did not mention the relationship between the two. How are the feelings?
Perhaps, more than ten years of marriage have already exhausted the love between the two. The husband has no intention of maintaining love, but the wife is always looking forward to her husband's love.
"Reunion with Love: Through the Fog of Intimacy" writes:
The nature of the relationship between men and women determines its own instability. As time goes by, it is easy to encounter to the challenge. Therefore, we often say that marriage needs management.
Many times, when it comes to love in marriage, we cannot expect it to happen naturally, but need to be maintained deliberately.
However, deliberately maintaining love will inevitably be difficult, but it may still be much better than letting love fade away until crises arise.
If Richard could pay more attention to his wife's feelings, interact more with her, and her wife care more about her husband, perhaps their marriage would not be like this.
02
After marriage, women’s contribution to the family is taken for granted, and is not understood and respected.
Francesca after marriage She devoted herself to her family, took good care of her children, and supported her husband. However, she did not receive gratitude and respect. She was actually lonely and lonely inside.
Francesca’s son and daughter have grown up, but they almost never communicate with their mother. The family life seems warm, but in fact it is cold and alienated.
There is a scene in the film. In the morning, Francesca was preparing breakfast for the children while listening to an audio program. After her daughter got up, she came to the restaurant and immediately changed to her favorite. In this home, the mother's needs are ignored.
During breakfast, the children each ate their own food. Both the son and daughter enjoyed the sumptuous food carefully prepared by their mother with peace of mind. They did not have any emotional or eye contact with their mother during the whole process. Francesca on the side could not hide her lonely look.
As for the husband, he doesn’t seem to understand his wife. Throughout the film, there are very few scenes showing love for his wife. It seems that his wife's contribution to the family is only taken for granted.
When talking about why she doesn't go out to work, Francesca said, "Richard doesn't like me working."
As for Robert, he respected her in everything. When getting along with Francesca, as long as she said half a word "no", he would not force her. Worried that she would be gossiped about, he took Francesca away from her hometown in the city next door.
Francesca wanted to elope with him, but because she was hesitant to take into account her family and children, she fell into a huge conflict. Robert was not dissatisfied or blamed for this, but comforted her. : "I'll stay here for a few more days, and you can make a decision later."
He hopes that she can be responsible for their feelings. Of course, he hoped that Francesca could fly away with him, but he also hoped that Francesca's final decision would be carefully considered. Therefore, he did not impose any of his will on Francesca.
From the beginning to the end, he never forced anything on Franceca, he was just expressing his feelings sincerely.
Francesca was crazy in love with Robert who was so considerate and respected him in every aspect. From Robert, Francesca gained understanding and respect. Perhaps, this is the essence of love.
After marriage, many women give up their ideals and return to their families, but they do not receive the understanding and recognition of their families and husbands. Their contribution and value are not recognized or even seen. That's the most despairing thing.
Therefore, when Francesca, a middle-aged woman who gave up her personal development and chose to retreat to her family, did not get recognition, happiness and respect, a gentle, interesting, nurturing and gentle woman happened to appear in front of her. When she was kind to Robert, she threw herself into his arms without hesitation, looking for love and comfort.
03
Francesca in the movie is a full-time housewife. She has no job of her own. All her life focuses on her husband and children. Her activities The scope was probably limited to rural towns, and she didn't even have time to develop her own hobbies.
However, before marriage, Francesca was also a female literary youth. I like poetry, music and other literary arts, and I am full of curiosity and yearning for the outside world.
She used to work as a teacher, but after marriage, because she could not get the support of her husband, she became a housewife confined to the kitchen and home.
With no career value and no recognition of family value, her children have grown up and are no longer close to her, and her husband is only a nominal partner. The middle-aged woman Francesca is becoming more and more confused. I can't find myself, I feel extremely depressed, and I desperately want to find a breakthrough so that I can take a breather.
When she had dinner with Robert ***, they talked about Yeats's poems on a quiet summer night. Robert told her about his wandering career as a photographer, his extensive knowledge and wonderful stories. In the past, it was completely different from her ordinary life in a country town full of filial piety. Such an interesting and romantic man had a fatal attraction for Franceka. ?
The conversation with Robert reminded her of her glorious girlhood and the dreams she had had.
Marriage makes people dull, but love makes people energetic.
Robert also fell deeply in love with this kind and romantic Francesca:
Living in a foreign country, Francesca’s heart was lonely and dull. , the narrow life circle made everything about Robert so fresh and interesting to her, as if a ray of light shone into her dull reality.
In other words, Robert's life was exactly what she envied and longed for. What Francesca fell in love with was not necessarily Robert as a person, but his free, unrestrained lifestyle, full of surprises and challenges.
And this kind of lifestyle is destined to be something that country housewife Francesca cannot have anyway.
Even further, Francesca fell in love with another self. That was someone completely different from who she was in reality, but she still longed to be.
And the love that made them recall their lives is just the best comment on "what you can't get is the best".
The filter of love magnifies the beauty and advantages of each other, but marriage cannot be separated from daily necessities. Even if two people love each other so much, once they are really together, who can be sure that they will become What about the immortal couple?
Love awakens women from deep sleep and also exposes the truth about many women’s cheating after marriage.
Just imagine, if Francesca had a job or career that she liked, and usually focused on developing her own hobbies, the unruly, free and unruly Robert might not be so shining in her eyes. . He was just an old man with a bit of grace, so he wouldn't make her think of elopement. She would have no choice but to spend the rest of her life reminiscing about him.
When a woman already has the best version of herself, when she is in a state of abundance, external disturbances and teasing cannot easily shake her firm, happy, and stable heart.
04
Of course, this movie not only made me think about marriage, the heroine’s insistence on family values, and the two people’s never forgetting their true love, it also made me think about marriage. It is indeed very touching.
Although the middle-aged woman Francesca longs for love, the choice she ultimately makes is very rational.
Even though she did love Robert very much and picked up the box several times and put it down again, she did not want to cause the whole family to suffer because of her elopement.
She could even think that even if she and Robert flew away, they might not be able to live a happy life.
The final farewell in the rain pushed the whole play to a climax. It was raining heavily outside, and Robert's car was driving in front, waiting persistently for Francesca's final choice, refusing to move, and the car Francesca inside was tightly gripping the handle, already bursting into tears...
Which one to choose, love or family, she fell into great entanglement and pain, but she still restrained herself. I want to escape with my lover at all costs.
Such rational and restrained love is poignant, profound, and touching.
Robert could not wait for Francesca, and finally left the small town of Madison sadly and remained unmarried for the rest of his life.
Francesca became a good wife and mother again. It was not until her husband died that she tried to find Robert, but failed.
A few years later, Francesca also died. In her will, she asked her children to scatter her ashes in Romancho: My life belonged to the family before, and after my death, it belongs to Robert.
At first, the children did not understand their mother's decision, but after learning about her past love affairs and mental journey, they understood their mother and began to reflect and examine their own marriage and its meaning.
Similarly, after watching this movie, I also have a better understanding and appreciation of marriage and love.
You give your freedom and gain your family.
Take responsibility and enjoy ownership.
That beautiful encounter in the summer, the regretful ending, and the painful choice taught us to re-examine the weight of love and responsibility, rethink the pursuit of the inner self, and the meaning of marriage.
Perhaps this is the reason why "The Bridge of Lost Dreams" remains a classic.
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