Education plays a leading or even decisive role in the development of children, and education has three connotations: family, school and society. Here we mainly talk about the impact of family education on children.
Mr. Tao Xingzhi once said: "Without love, there is no education." From this point of view, infecting children with love and caring for children with love is the foundation of family education. The influence plays a vital role in a child's life. So what should families do?
First of all, families must create a good living and learning environment for their children.
As the saying goes: "If you are close to vermillion, you will be red; if you are close to ink, you will be black." Obviously the family environment plays a positive role in children's success. The Italian poet Dante said: "If the seeds of a white pine fall into the cracks of stones in England, it will only grow into a very short tree; but if it is planted in the fertile soil of the South, it will grow into a small tree." "A big tree." This particularly emphasizes the role of the growing environment.
Secondly, families should make full use of their children’s innate advantages to develop their children’s intelligence and cultivate their talents.
For example, some children are naturally good at making noises, with pure and beautiful voice quality and wide vocal range, which provides material conditions and possibilities for training them to become singers; some children are born with good observation, which provides them with the opportunity to learn to sing. It provides favorable conditions for painting and conducting experiments. Children with good memory may be successful in learning foreign languages; children who are good at thinking may have optimistic prospects in learning science and reasoning... According to the child's genetic quality, we can make the best use of the situation so that the child can be like a fish in water, which can effectively bring into play his genetic advantages and train him to become a child. He has a talent of great use.
Third, families must filter the influence of the social environment and continuously cultivate children’s abilities.
The era of closed education in which "one is deaf to what is happening outside the window and only reads the books of sages" is gone forever. The disintegration of traditional unified moral concepts and changes in the social environment directly affect the family moral education environment. With the emergence and development of various sources of moral education, the dissemination of various moral information on the social moral level, and the radiation of a large number of moral media, the role of social influencing factors in the formation of children's ideological and moral character has been significantly enhanced. All these have enabled family moral education to step out of the closed mode in the general environment and directly face the forces of social change. The arrival of the open era has led to the collision and exchange of multiple cultures, along with the dialogue between traditional moral culture and modern civilization, as well as the emergence and accelerated formation of social group stratification, which has placed family education in a society where multiple moral concepts conflict with each other. The binding force of traditional moral norms has weakened, social control has gradually relaxed, and various new moral issues and moral dilemmas have arisen before parents.
Children are confused in the face of justice and evil; in the face of extreme expansion of personal interests, and in the face of the social reality of rampant materialism, greed for profit, and utilitarianism, children are greedy and selfish; children are vulgar, lazy, laissez-faire, Impolite and jealous. Therefore, we should break the isolation, open up, strengthen guidance and strict requirements, boldly allow students to contact society, understand society, analyze and dissect its ugly phenomena, carefully read and understand the intricate textbook of society, guide and cultivate students' understanding of social rights and wrongs, The ability to distinguish between authenticity, good and evil, beauty and ugliness, the ability to judge and criticize, and the ability to self-educate, learn to automatically filter social information, enhance one's own immune function, and establish the moral concept of putting the country first and society first. We should adhere to the belief that we should not take ill-gotten wealth, do not occupy illegal wealth, obtain wealth in a proper way, and plan for the benefit of the world. Cultivate children's good qualities of being lively, cheerful, generous, studious, honest, humble, gregarious, curious, loving labor, loving cleanliness, punctuality and trustworthiness.
Fourth, families are responsible for cultivating children’s multiple abilities.
Parents should work hard to help their children learn and master life skills in daily life. The so-called "life skills" here refer not only to "survival" abilities such as laundry, cooking, and housekeeping, but also include a person's social and psychological abilities. This is a person's ability to effectively handle various needs and challenges in daily life; it is also the ability for an individual to maintain a good psychological state and show adaptability and positive behavior in the relationship with others, society and the environment.
1. Let children understand their own characteristics and cultivate self-awareness
Children often do not know their own strengths and weaknesses, their own personality and characteristics, and their own abilities. I don’t know what to do and what is suitable for me, and I have countless goals for the future. In most cases, they do whatever their parents and teachers tell them to do. Some children only see their own shortcomings and fail to see their own strengths, thus developing an inferiority complex; some children only see their own strengths and ignore their own shortcomings, thus developing pride and looking down on others. At this time, parents must let them understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Only by seeing their own strengths can they cultivate an optimistic and healthy personality. You must also see your own shortcomings so as not to be blindly arrogant. Educate them to evaluate themselves objectively, have objective and clear goals in life, and not to ask themselves to do things they cannot do. Only in this way can they grow step by step and grow healthily in a happy mood.
2. Let children learn to listen and express, and develop their own good interpersonal skills
Listen carefully to other people’s conversations and opinions, and use appropriate language to communicate and communicate ideas with others. The skills of "listening" and "speaking" are important aspects of interpersonal communication. Some children often do not pay attention to what others say when interacting with others, and sometimes even show impatience and disregard, which makes people feel disrespectful and exclusive of others; some children are unwilling to speak their innermost thoughts and lack the ability to express themselves. A natural and frank attitude hinders communication with others. You cannot share happy things with others, and you cannot share troubled things with others. In this way, due to being unable to listen in or speak out for a long time, it is easy to close oneself in a small world, resulting in being a loner, withdrawn, depressed or stubborn and extreme, and becoming an unpopular person.
Parents should help their children appropriately use verbal and non-verbal self-expression when interacting with others, express their own opinions, wishes and needs, and try to avoid misunderstandings and suspicions of others to form good interpersonal relationships. , make more friends, and also enable them to understand how to live in harmony, be friendly, and self-restraint towards others, and adopt a tolerant, fair, reasonable and restrained approach to problems and conflicts that arise in interpersonal communication. Cultivate the relationship between father (mother), son (daughter), teacher and student, correctly treat the relationship between classmates, friends and ambiguous romances, etc., learn to respect and trust others, and grow up healthily in the mutual support and encouragement of people.
3. Let children control their emotions and develop the ability to relieve stress
Due to lack of life experience and limited endurance, children sometimes have difficulty controlling their own emotions. When encountering difficulties, When you have conflicts with others, you may not be able to adjust and control your emotions, which may cause a lot of additional troubles and conflicts. Moreover, long-term emotional suppression is the root cause of mental illness. Therefore, it is necessary to train them to learn to relieve mental stress, especially for some emotionally depressing things, and to educate them to know and learn to vent and relax, so that they can maintain mental balance and a good attitude, not only getting happy from the mood, but also being happy when encountering Ability to deal with difficulties calmly.
4. Understand and support others and cultivate empathy.
Nowadays, most of the families are only-child families, and children are easily doted on by their parents. As a result, some teenagers and children often only care about their immediate studies and studies. Live life with indifference to others. At this time, they should be trained to understand what understanding is and what love is. In this process, it is very important to cultivate the ability of empathy and put yourself in the other person's position and perspective. This is not only a necessity for making friends, but also a requirement for cultivating healthy psychological quality. Helping and supporting others is a kind of sacrifice, but you gain "happiness" from this sacrifice. This is an extremely important step in cultivating children's happy mood and healthy behavior.
5. Effectively solve problems and cultivate coping skills
Every child lives in society, among many people such as parents, relatives, teachers, classmates and friends. Since life Conflicts are inevitable among people in society. Even in a very harmonious family, there will be some conflicts and problems. How to effectively resolve such contradictions and problems requires learning coping skills and methods.
For children, they often lack coping skills and methods, and do not know where to start solving problems. This can easily lead to depression, sadness, panic, etc. If things go on like this, they will be depressed and anxious. Therefore, we should educate and train their problem-solving abilities, cultivate their coping skills, help them understand the objectivity of the emergence and existence of problems, help them find breakthroughs and steps to resolve conflicts, and have more discussions, consultations, and discussions with children. , try more problem-solving methods, so that they can learn to actively adapt to the environment and deal with the contradictions and problems encountered in life as soon as possible. Grow by resolving conflicts and problems.
6. Avoid aggressive words and deeds, and cultivate self-discipline.
Children are prone to friction and conflicts over trivial matters. In mild cases, they may have disagreements and disunity, while in severe cases, they may be impulsive. Aggressive behavior occurs consciously or unconsciously. If this behavior is not effectively corrected and stopped, it will not only cause serious harm to others, but also cause lifelong harm to oneself.
Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate their strict self-discipline, not to anger others because their own interests are harmed, learn to use peaceful methods to replace aggressive behaviors, and think more about their own faults. This is not only the way to be a human being, but also the basic requirement for the development of healthy psychological quality. Fifth, parents should pay attention to every stage of their children's growth.
Children are cared for by their parents before they are 1-3 years old, and they can be allowed to develop at this stage. If your baby prefers certain toys, let him learn through playing.
Let go of the labor that the baby can do in a timely manner, and encourage the baby to "do it by myself" for the first time; gradually train him to pick up small things from the ground, get newspapers, and slippers, put away toys after playing, help feed small animals, and put away plastic cups. , put away dishes, fold scarves, put certain amounts of things into different bowls, sweep the floor with a small broom, tidy up brooms and trash cans; slowly learn to mop small areas, organize magazines and sofa cushions, brush teeth, wash your face, dress and undress , dusting off furniture, emptying small bins, putting clothes in the washing machine, taking clothes out of the spin dryer, carrying piles of clothes to the room, folding clothes, folding the quilt when you wake up, etc.
When 2-5 years old, language and thinking abilities have developed to a certain extent. At this stage, development should be guided and restricted, and strict requirements should be imposed from an early age so that children can develop good moral qualities and living habits. Precocious children all have one common characteristic: they love books. Children who love books since childhood will be more focused and have good study habits. At this time, educating children to love books is equivalent to giving them a golden key to open the door of wisdom. Therefore, during the period of infants and young children, buying more children’s books with diverse content and subscribing to some infant newspapers and periodicals covering a wide range of topics will be beneficial to the child’s intellectual development. First, let the children take a look for themselves. They can turn as much as they can and read as much as they can. There is no need to force it. At this stage, children should be guided how to look and what to look at. It also induces children to tell short stories, sing children's songs, fill in pictures, make handicrafts, take quizzes, and memorize simple poems. It is not necessary to know all the meanings. The focus is to cultivate their interest in seeking knowledge and develop good habits.
During the infancy and early childhood years, parents should encourage their children to develop various interests from an early age. Cultivate children's thinking ability: often ask some simple questions to let children think about the answers; broaden children's horizons: often take children outside to accept new things and increase their knowledge; exercise children's memory: after telling children stories, let children organize language and carry out Retell, speak anytime, anywhere, and have a loud, clear enunciation and clear pronunciation. Stimulate and encourage children's learning emotions: require children to answer simple questions, and answer all questions without hesitation. Cultivate and improve observation skills: Sometimes parents can deliberately do some small things that go against common sense and let their children correct them. Don’t waste children’s intelligence: When children are babbling, teach them language norms, such as not calling kittens “kitten cats” and so on.
Pay attention to children’s primary school years. At this time, the focus is on cultivating children's interest in learning. This is a critical period for developing children’s study habits. The most important stage for a child to learn knowledge is in primary school. If you lose the knowledge that your child should learn in primary school, you will lose your child's future. Food comes in bites, children grow up step by step, and homework comes slowly. In the first and second grades, the gap is not obvious. Even if there is a difference of a few points in the final exam, most parents only think that their children are sloppy, not that they have not studied well. They thought: Can they still solve such a simple question? How come there is no question of how many plus several? Forgot to carry, just sloppy. However, it is not only the children who are careless, but also the parents themselves. Because the gap between our children and other children is actually widening little by little, and is caused by parents' carelessness and negligence. The third and fourth grades of elementary school are the most critical stages of the entire elementary school period. At this time, mathematics has more knowledge of four arithmetic operations and positive and negative numbers, and Chinese has more composition and reading, and the difficulty has increased. If the sloppy problem is not overcome, the old disease is not eliminated, and new diseases are added, the child's homework will be easy to overstep. The more you miss, the new and old lessons are intertwined, making it difficult to make up for them. A child's study habits, faced with the two completely different attitudes and habits of being sloppy and not being sloppy, have been slowly developed in the primary school. It will take a lot of effort to change it again.
Care about children’s middle school years. The junior high school stage focuses on cultivating children's learning habits, and this stage is also a critical period for cultivating children's learning methods; the high school stage focuses on cultivating children's learning methods, and it is also a critical period for cultivating children's abilities. But at this time, parents have no time or ability to care about their children's learning, so at this time, they can let their children have a healthy mentality and insist on supervising their learning. This is what parents can do. Which is more important, good grades or a good attitude? And to achieve good results, you must have a good attitude. No matter how many books you read, it is not as good as having a healthy mind. Therefore, when you are a parent, you should not have one-sided thoughts of "hoping for your son to become a dragon" or "hoping for your daughter to become a phoenix". At this stage, most children have left their families and lead independent learning lives. At this time, parents attach great importance to emotional cultivation and pay more attention to communication. During communication, if the thoughts are touched, the other party will be touched, and if the soul is purified, the other party will also be purified! Let children be bold, individual, assertive, and have a sense of justice. Regarding learning, children believe that as long as they work hard, it doesn't matter if they don't take first place. "Learning is a lifelong process, but you can take your time."
Let children start from the small things, hardships, and difficult things around them, cultivate their will to overcome difficulties, and cultivate their ability to experience setbacks and endure hardships. Perseverance in hardships is the responsibility and obligation of our parents. As the saying goes: "Only when parents are loving can children be filial." This is the most truth in the world. If we use our love to create an ideal living and learning environment for our children, then our children will become useful talents.