-Never go back.
That year, I was 16 years old and he was 15 years old.
He, so quiet, makes people feel distressed. He always feels lonely and always sees his lonely figure. Sometimes it's very lively, although it's rare, very rare. I don't know when I began to like this quiet boy. There is also a girl who likes him and has expressed her love several times, but she was rejected. I am afraid that if I like him, I will be looked down upon. So, I waited for a long, long time. That girl, she is so strong, she confessed again and again and was rejected again and again. I tried to ask her, and she stared at you and said you were annoyed. Do you still like him? Her firm eyes made me feel ashamed. Compared with her, I am so weak.
Later, for some reason, the girl gave him up and fell in love with one of his buddies. Maybe she really despaired of him.
Sometimes I ask myself, do I like him or appreciate him? If so, why didn't I feel so sad when we finally broke up? Am I really used to being hurt? Are you numb?
I didn't know why I was so brave that day, so I told him and liked him. He smiled. I was lying on the table, worried to death. I have to finish. I'd better not tell him. I peeked at him. He looked at me with a smile. I said, am I finished? He smiled and said, I'll think about it. Huh? What?
165438+20081October ..
Tell him that he likes him and doesn't want to be with him. He seems to have a crush on me, too Say, I'll think about it. What does that mean? I was surprised and happy. There are also some concerns. Because ... I think ... I don't deserve him. He is so perfect. That's great. Also, I'm afraid of getting hurt, afraid of getting hurt again. Where there is a beginning, there is an end. I'm afraid of being hurt by love. Really scared.
In this way, the relationship is similar but beyond friendship … procrastination, noise …
On Christmas Eve, some friends made an appointment to go out to play.
That day was the happiest day of all our days together.
The next day, Christmas, we officially dated. I remember I brought it up. I say we go out. He nodded happily, like a shy girl, and I smiled, so happy, really.
Christmas is coming, and friends are carefully planning how to spend it. He asked me what I wanted. I pointed to his heart and said, I want this. My heart was pounding, and then I turned and ran. He stood there waiting for a long time. I really admire myself for being so courageous.
On Christmas Eve, we brought a couple's rings. He didn't refuse when we brought it to him. Every time we turn to look at him, he wears a ring on his hand. So happy.
He began to talk more, he became lively and began to make trouble with them.
On Christmas Eve, I said, I am a girl, and I take the initiative in everything, so I am very cheap. He said, I didn't say you were a bitch, you kept saying you were a bitch. Very touched, it turns out that he doesn't think of me. On the way back, one of his buddies messed with me and pulled my hair. I called him, and he took the boy's hand angrily and said let go. I smiled. He is so embarrassed and naive.
Send some notes every day. I asked him if he liked me. He blushed and agreed shyly. I smiled and pointed to his heart. I want this. He really gave his heart to me. I brought him oranges from home. He said haughtily, skin me and feed me! ! I said I liked you, he said my hands were cold, and then he took my hand like a fool. Because of his sadness, he even hugged me at the entrance of the school archives, which made me scared to scold you to get out. And run away.
When I was caught talking in class by the most annoying chemistry teacher, the day after the teacher yelled at me N+ 1 times, I was transferred to the corner of the last row by the head teacher. Next to me are brooms and garbage ... I glanced at my new deskmate and swore. I am so fucking depressed. Sitting there, I haven't said a word for days. Later, after I got acquainted with my new classmates at the same table, my deskmate began to tease me, scold me and start talking. Once, the words in my deskmate's mouth annoyed me, so I gave my deskmate a hard twist and saw him staring at me mercilessly. Then, I honestly prone on the table, motionless, deskmate said with a smile, what are you afraid of? If you are afraid, call me to your mother's ... I stare at my deskmate in disgust and say, get out. Get out of here
Hey, is he angry? Class is over, class is over, class is over. He ignored me. I am very angry. The next day, I deliberately made trouble with my deskmate, deliberately talked to my deskmate and laughed loudly. If he says hum, I get angry. Let's not mess with other boys in the future. Don't laugh with other boys. If he does, I'll never talk to him again, ever. But he didn't. He never did.
I have kept a diary since I was with him. About him, it's all about him. Diary, a love letter for you. In the next book, every page is about him, where I remember my heart and my love for him. When I gave it to him, I said, if you don't love me, give it back to me. At that time, I will leave and go far away. By then, it's all over.
I went to my seat and saw the diary on the table. I froze for a long time, holding back my tears and tearing them to pieces.
In the afternoon, I didn't come to class The next day, it happened to be Saturday, and I had a rest. I drank a lot of wine. I was really depressed and drunk. In a daze, remember to ask your classmates to call him. He came out and stood in front of me. I looked at him and said, do you like me or not? He didn't say anything. I said angrily, I'll leave if I don't like it. He turned and left. I cried and said, go away, go away. Never come back. Get out. Then I squatted there crying like a fool. That's a real pity.
One of his buddies said, here, he bought you a present. I said, no, I don't want it. You lied to me, not at all. You lied.
I don't want anything, just your heart …
Point to your heart, I want this, this, this. ...
February 2009 10.
Many days later I asked, do you hate me?
He said he didn't hate it. He never hates it.
I said, forgive me. He said, be friends.
..... He gave up on me, and he began to forget me.
I completely forgot, no resentment, just lying.
What else do I want? My heart is heavy.
About him, has become the past, that memory, I decided to forget.
This relationship .. comes from Qingqing and a man .. Address/Qingqing Southland/Blog.
Writing an article for the first time is not so good.