Source: China Teachers' Daily Author: Zhao Add Time: 2006-1-kloc-0/617: 27: 00.
Throughout the ages, many language masters have worked hard on the tempering of words. Pi Rixiu once said, "A hundred words make a thousand sentences."
When Ye Shengtao's novel Overcharged Three or Five Doors was first published, there was a sentence: "Another gentleman was tired of listening to it and threw his cigarette butt into the street." Later, when the Collected Works of Ye Shengtao was published, the author changed the word "throw" in this sentence to "throw". It is reasonable to use the word "throw", but it is not good enough, because the things thrown are usually bigger and heavier, and the direction of "throw" is relatively clear; Things thrown out are often smaller and lighter, and this behavior is more random, so it is more appropriate and appropriate to use the word "throw" to describe "cigarette butts".
Mr. Lu Xun rarely mentioned it. Even if it is a short poem, he will recite it repeatedly and scrutinize it carefully. For example, in his famous sentence "forbearing to watch peers become new ghosts, angrily searching for knives", "forbearing to watch" was originally "watching" and "knives" was originally "cutting edge". Although it is a word change, "forbearance" highlights the cruel and "terrible" meaning of the reactionaries; "Knife edge" refers to knives, and "knife cluster" refers to knives, which makes it more powerful to expose the white terror of the enemy, and also shows the heroic spirit of despising the enemy.
These examples all illustrate the importance of honing vocabulary. So when writing, we must pay attention to refining words, words and sentences.
First, it is accurate and appropriate. To use words accurately and appropriately, we must first have a correct understanding of objective things and pay attention to distinguishing the subtle differences in language colors. The Soviet film "Unforgettable 19 19" reported Stalin: "The British warships retreated!" Stalin corrected: "No, they escaped!" The difference between the two words strongly shows Stalin's pride in victory and exposes the embarrassment of the British army.
Second, be concise. Language is concise and concise, that is, there are no redundant words, and the content is as rich as possible with the least words. This is what the ancients called "elegance" and "simplification", which is what we call "simplicity and clarity" today.
Third, the image is vivid. Vivid image means that the language used is not rigid, rigid, vivid, novel, vivid and vivid. For example, Lu Xun's Hometown, "My eight-year-old nephew Honger flew out", an ordinary word "flying", wrote the joy of children. Besides, you can use words skillfully. In addition, proper use of rhetorical devices, such as metaphor, personification, exaggeration, etc. Turn the general into the concrete, turn the abstract into the image, and increase the vividness and image of the language.
In a word, tempering language can improve our ability to use language, express our thoughts and feelings more accurately and get better expression effect.
(The author is from Xu Shui No.2 Middle School)
Beijing No.4 Middle School
Editor: Xu Kexing Reviewer: Li Jiasheng Editor: Xu Dongjie
Composition Guidance —— On Writing Language (Part Two)
How to effectively improve the writing language level?
First, we should pay attention to basic language knowledge and gradually deepen language skills. Accurately mastering the sound, form and meaning of Chinese characters and words, mastering as many vocabulary as possible, and trying to eliminate sick sentences in writing are all "basic skills". To do this, we should always look up the dictionary. Last September, a banner headline appeared in Beijing Evening News: National Day coincides with the Double Ninth Festival, and it is sunny in September. There is a common sense mistake here. This "99" (the ninth day of September in autumn) is not another "99" (nine in winter and spring). It is clearly written in the dictionary that "sunny day means bright spring". Why don't comrades in our editorial department check it out?
Second, we should care about life, love life, capture the "bright spots" in life and "record" life at any time. Be good at learning the languages of people from all walks of life. The phrase "now there are peanuts, but no teeth" in Lao She's Teahouse has condensed the sadness of many elderly people and prompted many people to have rich associations? A junior high school student wrote in the exercise: "Lightning is a symbol drawn by God in the sky. He was afraid that people would not understand, so he warned the world with the roar of thunder. " The imagination is strange and the words are amazing.
Third, get rid of vulgarity and vulgar taste, strengthen moral quality cultivation and improve ideological understanding. 10 years ago, Mr. Zhang Zhongxing, an old writer and famous scholar, heard that a colleague had lost 1000 yuan. He resolutely took out 500 yuan from his meager salary and said, "If you lose 500 yuan, I will lose 500 yuan. One person's pain is borne by two people, can't it be halved? " -Warm and humorous words of comfort stem from the noble character of the elderly. It is said that Jiuzhaigou will "plan" and "build a fine scenic spot", and the ticket price will increase several times. Jing Yi, our classmate, wrote anxiously: "I am really worried that this so-called' high-end boutique strategic plan' will abruptly dress a beautiful and shy girl into a lady who looks back and smiles and is worth tens of millions. Is it because we have some ability to dominate the world that we can become the master of the world? " -beautiful and wise words come from teenagers' concerns about environmental protection.
Fourth, we should be good at learning languages from experts, especially writers. There are experts among classmates and candidates, and their articles can be used as models for us to learn; Chinese texts are masterpieces of famous writers, and most of the reading articles in college entrance examination questions and college entrance examination simulation questions come from writers, scientists or experts in a certain field, which can also be used as models for us to learn; Reading ancient and modern literary classics after class is an indispensable and important aspect of our language learning.
I emphasize the importance of imitation here. Imitate Yan, Liu, Ou, Su and Zhao when writing big characters, imitate Bai Shi and Zhang Daqian when painting, imitate singers when singing, imitate famous artists when acting … imitate writers when writing!
It goes without saying that imitation is not the whole of learning, and imitation is not the destination of learning; But imitation is the beginning of learning, the shortcut of learning and the accumulation of innovation!
A "master" wrote this passage:
Friendship is a useful savings in life. This savings is to give all help in a difficult situation, to give severe advice on the wrong road, to help you sincerely when you fall, and to wipe away your tears when you are in pain.
Our classmates "parodied" such a passage:
Trust is also a precious savings in life. This savings is a kind look at you when rumors strike, a firm companion on the way forward, all-round support when encountering difficulties, and a heart lamp to drive away the pain when being slandered.
Is there no innovation here except imitation?
Mr. Zhu Ziqing's masterpiece Venice was selected as a Chinese textbook for senior three. Among them, "Canal Nocturne" is written like this:
Venice's nocturnes are very famous. Nocturne is a kind of lyric music, which is sung at random under people's windows at night. But there are also some in the canal: at night, by the river in St. Kyle Square, there are red and green paper ball lights in the river, which are serenaded boats. I rented a "gondola" to rock it and parked beside it. The boat is in the middle of the water, and gondola swings in turn in the microwaves on both sides, like two wings. There are men and women singing, sitting around a table. When it's their turn, they stand up and sing to the music. The lyrics are naturally Italian, which is said to be the purest and clearest. This sounds like a cliche, especially for women-Italian singers are famous. Music is dense in rhythm and passionate, so it is probably the most popular "jazz". Under the slightly swaying traffic light ball, the song is trembling, and the hazy night on the canal seems to be rosy. After singing a few songs, someone on the boat came over and took a hat to collect money, which was somewhat casual. If you don't want to hear it, you can shake it to the second place. This is a bit like the Qinhuai River in those days, but the Qinhuai River is much more lively.
I asked my classmates to imitate, and Guo Rui wrote this passage:
The roast duck in Beijing is very famous. Among them, Quanjude is the most important, the oldest and the most authentic. Secondly, the roast duck in restaurants like duck king also enjoys a good reputation, but I didn't eat it, because other dishes except ducks in duck king are few and expensive. There are also some restaurants and restaurants with roast duck on their menus, but most of them can only be regarded as second-and third-rate level. Roast duck is very particular about every step from material selection to plate loading. Each duck should be of moderate size. After hanging the oven, the heat is the key to roast duck, so it must be roasted for a long time with medium heat, and you can't rush for success. The last step is to serve the roast duck to the guests and cut it into 1 18 pieces, each with duck skin. At this time, the roast duck was picked up with chopsticks, and the duck oil was squeezed out of the skin and hung outside without falling off. The aroma is fragrant, and it is not oily or greasy when put in the mouth. If you roll some duck meat with pancakes, add some chopped green onion, stick sweet noodle sauce on it, and put it in your mouth, it will reduce the greasy feeling, make it more refreshing, and make you remember the taste. Finally, there is duck soup, which is made from the leftover skeleton of ducks. Add a few large pieces of garlic and ginger and simmer until milky white. When serving, you'd better serve a piece of duck. After drinking this soup, the grease left in your mouth will be completely removed.
Perhaps southerners with clear mouths are not used to eating like this, but for Beijingers, it is really a rare delicacy. But don't eat too much, especially people with high blood pressure or cholesterol.
Isn't that great?
Mr. Yu Guangzhong, a writer and poet in Taiwan Province, wrote an article comparing airplanes with trains. The language is vivid and interesting.
Although the plane can be regarded as a leisurely trip to Zhuangzi and a trip to meet the wind by Liezi, it is shrouded in mist, with constant procession, little change and narrow windows, which is unattractive for a long time. Unlike the long distance of the train, the hypnotic rhythm and the changeable scenery. Looking out from the wide window, it's like being on the earth, opening up the world. Therefore, whenever I travel abroad, I always stand on the platform-a veritable "pavilion"-where the double-track track can reach, waiting for the masculine train to rumble into the station and take me far away.
I asked my students to choose two related things according to the form of this article and write an article of 50-80 words.
Students' works are not short of good structure, but also interesting:
Lingyun: Although chocolate can be imagined as Qu Yuan's delicious food, it is too sweet and greasy, with high calories and sugar, and it will be unbearable after a long time. Not like crispy noodles. It tastes real and can fill the stomach. So in the canteen, I always choose simple noodles to treat my internal organs.
Xing Jia: Although the telephone can be regarded as Sun's ear and the voice of the immortal Taoist priest, it is indeed a little less cordial for relatives and friends to call for blessings during the festive season. It's not like a greeting card, so every New Year, I send a greeting card to express my thoughts.
Liu Miaomiao: Martial arts novels can certainly adjust people's lives, but popular words and vulgar plots are like a plate of fried food. Eating too much makes people very tired. Unlike the prose of famous writers, it is not as beautiful, meaningful and careful. Therefore, I like to take Qiu Si products with me in the cool afternoon and enjoy the beauty in the sun to purify my soul.
Li Fangfang: Litchi Ceng Bo Tang Fei smiles, which is another favorite of the Song Emperor in the palace, but it is as bright as a fish's eye and sweet as an endless aftertaste. Myrica rubra, also a tropical fruit, conquered my taste with its delicate crimson and sweet and sour aftertaste, which is my long-term miss every summer and autumn.
Angelie Liu: Although rain is a shower that nourishes everything, the sound of rain is boring. In case of being "stared at" by the rain, the fate of "getting wet" is inevitable. It is not like snow. Smart painters always "paint" the world into wonderful silver, and the snowman and snowball fight in front of them all sounded the songs of childhood.
Chen Zhuo: The violin has a beautiful tone and melodious tune, which is intoxicating. But its performance is single, slightly "stingy" and can only "lag behind musical instruments". The piano not only has a soft voice, but also has a rich voice. Hard and soft, cadence, reflected in the swaying black and white keys. It is worthy of being the "king of musical instruments".
Zhuang Ming: Although golf can be regarded as the halo on Woods' head and Owen's favorite, it is still the patent of the rich, and it takes a lot of time and changes little. Unlike the quaint Go, it is exquisite and full of fun. So in my spare time, I always like to sit at a small table and take me to the world of the wise.
Imitation is like "running with the belt" in long-distance running. With a master "driving" in front, you will always run faster. The road to imitation is long. Don't be complacent, think that you are a writer, or even think that you have surpassed the writer.
When Yan Zhenqing fell at the feet of Wang Xizhi and Zhang Xu, he was just a calligrapher. Yan created "Striving for a Seat" and "Sacrificing a Nephew" to become a great calligrapher who is unique, shines brilliantly in the calligraphy field and won the future generations!
Writing training questions:
As the saying goes, men don't cry lightly. Lu Xun also wrote a poem: Ruthlessness may not be a true hero, so how can Reiko Kobayakawa not be a husband? Please write an article of not less than 800 words on the topic of "The Man in My Heart". Make up your mind. In addition to poetry, style is optional. The topic is self-drawn.
Attachment: Fan Wen's Tears of My Father and its comments.
Father's tears
Yan Fu, Class 38, Senior High School.
My father is a northerner to the core. He has a tall and burly figure of a northern man, a clear outline and a unique tough spirit. In my heart, father is like a pine tree. Whether the sun is like fire or it is raining and snowing, he is so tall and unyielding. His broad shoulders and strong hands will always be my most reliable and strong backing.
Father is a real man! I once secretly wrote in my diary. According to my mother, my father seldom cries. At that time, my teenage father went to the remote rural area of Inner Mongolia alone. It was a long yellow sand, and he had no friends. No matter how difficult it is, my father never shed tears. My father had an accident and was badly injured in more than a dozen places. The pain is unbearable, and he can't sleep at night. Father never said a word "pain" and never let out a cry, but he stood up silently and firmly. As long as I can remember, my father has only cried three times.
The first time was when I was a child. I got "appendicitis" and went to the hospital because of exercise after meals. It was the Spring Festival, and the doctors were not there, so the operation could not be done in time. I rolled in bed in pain, and my father contacted doctors everywhere and finally sent me to the operating room. With a burst of pain, I woke up slowly and saw my father's bloodshot eyes and slightly wrinkled skin on both sides of his nose. I know my father is crying. When I was young, I couldn't help shivering. I never thought that my strong father would cry, and it was for me. My nose was sour and tears filled my eyes. While my father gently wiped away my tears, I deeply understood that no matter how strong my father's heart is, I will always be the softest part and his achilles heel.
The second time was four years ago, when my grandmother was critically ill and my father stayed at the bedside all night. The next day, when the doctor covered my grandmother's face with brand-new white sheets, I saw my father's tears for the first time in my life. Tears rolled down instantly and covered my face with wrinkles and freckles. Mother and son love each other deeply, and blood is thicker than water. I felt the pain in my father's heart.
Another time, it was for my mother. It was a very accidental conversation, and I showed my dissatisfaction with my mother's harsh words. While my father comforted me, he also listed my mother's goodness. I didn't know that my words touched my father's heart. He said, your mother's life is not easy! Tears-I really saw them-swirled in my eyes. He added softly, "We must be kind to her." I will never forget this sentence in my life. My inarticulate father expressed his feelings in the most plain language, which is clearly a caring love.
Father's tears are not easy to move, and no hardship or storm can destroy his strong will. Only affection and love can make me feel my father's delicacy and gentleness. Father's three tears are for the three most important people in his life-mother, wife and daughter.
comment
Really wrote my father's "combination of rigidity and softness", my father is a man! They all say that "knowing a child is like a mother." I don't know, and "knowing a father as a daughter."
A word "love" is full of lines. Drive the pen with emotion, express feelings with vertical pen, and move people with emotion.
Writing characteristics: accurate selection of materials, accurate use of words, writing "strong" and "soft" are in place, three tears, never the same.
Instructor: Xu Kexing