From the day we were born, the god of fate entrusted the responsibility to our parents. In order to make us eat and wear warm clothes, parents shoulder the responsibility of bringing home the bacon. I don't know how many days we spent with the shower head, and I don't know how to get out of that year with courage and poverty and terror.
Up to now, we can't understand the sad past from our parents' words, and we can't imagine how our parents dug up mountain grain and wild rice with their hands during those difficult years to take care of their children. Listening to my parents, even so, things that are only picked from nature often meet people with ulterior motives and fall into his hands. We are fortunate to live in an era of rich materials, and those ridiculous and pedantic parasitic years can only be myths and legends for us.
Times have pushed us post-70s into the development trend after the reform and opening-up, bid farewell to our ignorant childhood, and I began to embark on the road of learning and learning. My parents have hinted to me many times that if I can't finish school, I will go home to farm in the future, which is actually telling me to remember the responsibility of studying. Although I couldn't figure out why I wanted to study at that time, I never dared to be careless about my study. I only remember that I can get a smile on my parents' faces after I get the certificate. I only know that I can see the approval eyes hidden in my parents' muddy eyes after I get good grades in the exam.
After entering junior high school, I was once blinded by my naivety and stubbornness, and idled around all day. That wonderful time passed me by and never came back. Later, my parents found the responsibility of studying that I gave up. Although I finally lost my way under the discipline of my parents, my life course after the senior high school entrance examination paid an irreparable heavy price for it.
From then on, the word "responsibility" seemed to wake me up from my dream and make me come to my senses. Once again, I took the withered flower of responsibility from my parents, hid it in my arms and carefully transplanted it in my heart. I nourish it from time to time, water it, and don't forget to trim it, so that it can rejuvenate and rejuvenate after the disaster, and let it bloom in my heart with that dazzling brilliance forever.
Now, in my tortuous life journey, as a husband, I know that taking the family as the root and remembering the responsibility will never fade; As a father, I understand that only by taking my daughter as hope and holding responsibility in my arms can the flower of responsibility be reborn; As a teacher, I know how to focus on my career and keep my responsibility in mind, so that the flower of responsibility will be fruitful. In the future life, I will always keep the motto "Let the flower of responsibility be happy forever" in my heart, which has always been my long-cherished wish.
land
Silence is a kind of strength, indifference is a kind of detachment, and it must be a realm. The ticking of the bell, the revolving sound of the wooden horse, the falling sound of the hourglass ... Youth has passed, but I stubbornly never look back at her again. You pass by, you pass by in a hurry. Decades of flowers bloom and decades of flowers fall. You are the pain of my rebellion yesterday, but today, please let me make my own decision.
You are an April day on earth, you are love, you are warmth, and you are a whisper between beams. I accompanied you to see the flowers of a tree; I drew a drop of rain with you; I once sang a song with you; I have written a paragraph word for word with you. No longer wait for the missing person. The flowers on the other side bloom for a thousand years and fall for a thousand years. Flowers and leaves will never meet. Love is not cause and effect, fate is doomed to life and death.
I'm just a passer-by, and I can't find my home there after all. Haruki Murakami said, "If you love each other, you will grow old hand in hand; If you miss it, protect him. " Yu also said, "I don't have time to participate in your past. I will accompany you to the end." However, the real pain is only as Gu Cheng said, "A smile defeats a lifetime, and a tear returns a person. One person blooms and one person falls. In these years, from beginning to end, no one asked. " Love is broken and my heart hurts, but people are always half awake.
I loved, so I hurt; I ran away, so I fell down; I advanced, so I was blocked; I rebelled, so I was injured; I have been crazy, so I have been frivolous; I was confused, but I never regretted it.
Flowers bloom on both sides of the strait and live in Buddha's illusion. Time is short, the end of the world is far away, and the future mountains and rivers will be quietly completed overnight. Your heart is a small window, and your heart is a lonely town. I opened the gap, and I let go of that dream. People come and go, changing rapidly, passing by 10 thousand times, and not getting a word of caring and attentive.
You have already left, please don't come again; Love is gone, please don't wait any longer; Youth is gone, and time has washed everything very lightly.
If you are well, it will be sunny. Stranded, this is my best wish for the past.
Go back to the countryside
I was born and raised in Lingling city, and I am a real street baby. But for some reason, my bones have always been a little insulated from everything in the city. Perhaps there is always a childhood complex that can't be solved. After liberation, my father came to the city from the countryside. He was born and raised in a small village near Yanghe, Fujiaqiao Town, Lingling, which naturally became my natural hometown. Like most small villages in southern Hunan, they are ordinary black-tiled wooden houses. I spent a lot of my childhood here. Whenever there is a school holiday, I take a rickety bus to the countryside. I have the habit of carsickness. When you get off the bus, you have to throw up all over the floor, and it will take at least two days to recover. All this can't stop my yearning for returning to this village. There are totally different customs and habits here from the city, which I remember clearly so far. I wear a pair of shorts and a vest every day and run happily on the sand dunes in front of the village where I grow vegetables There is a beautiful river in the village called Yanghe, and there are continuous mountains in the distance. People in the village often go there together to cut wood and make a fire. At that time, I was too young and adults didn't take me to the distant mountains. I am still full of infinite yearning for those mysterious mountains. People often miss and dream about what we can't get. I remember that life in the country was very simple at that time, and most of the meals were home-cooked pickles, such as bean curd, beans, sour peppers, bean paste and so on. Maybe I ate too much pickles during that time, so I don't touch pickles now, which is why extremes meet.
In my memory, it seems that I seldom eat meat dishes like pork. The only meat dishes are fish and shrimp that I salvage from the stream every day. The ecological environment at that time was the most natural. In the stream near the paddy field in front of the village, some small fish and shrimp can be salvaged every day. There is no problem at all. In my opinion, it was not only food that was salvaged at that time, but also the joy of salvaging every day. In the midsummer countryside, I go fishing day after day and never feel a little tired. A few years later, I went back to the village again, trying to find traces of small fish and shrimp in the stream of that year, but I heard that they did not disappear with the years, but were left childless by those hateful electric fishermen. Say goodbye to the little fish and shrimp that brought me infinite happiness in childhood, and I will always miss those sunny summers when we played together. Many years later, I often think of those days spent in the countryside like watching a movie. I often think of those people and things. I want to harvest golden rice in summer. I went to the field to pick up the ears of rice and remembered the sweet well in front of the village. I often write about them unconsciously in my poems, only to find that the bits and pieces of these villages lurk in the depths of my soul. Perhaps the more you live in a rural area with poor materials, the easier it is to find the light of poetry. Those old houses swaying in the wind and rain, those cracked earth walls, and more or less past events have all gone with the wind.
Although decades have passed, many details are still vivid. For example, I am afraid of snakes, but there is a detail that often appears in my mind. Once, I went to a small river to take a bath. I saw a snake on the path ahead, and then I jumped into a bush of thorns on the side of the road. I don't know why, this plot always jumps out of my mind like a poisoned computer. I don't know if my darkness today is related to my exposure to the midday sun every day when I was a child. I enjoyed too much sunbathing too early. I run aimlessly in the sand dunes in the country every day, like a runaway wild horse. I'm very lucky, my childhood has such a vast world for me to travel around. Think about the children in the city now, and it is impossible to realize the infinite happiness of being the son of nature.
Relatives from rural areas moved to cities one after another, and I moved to lengshuitan from the ancient city of Lingling, getting farther and farther away from my hometown. The old house in my hometown is uninhabited and in disrepair. It can only stand there as a witness to the history of my ancestors. I just go back to my hometown in Tomb-Sweeping Day every year to visit the grave and see the old villages, old friends and old rivers. The mountains, water and air in the country are very good. Never come, never go. Gradually, I have the idea of living by the Yanghe River in my hometown again. I told my sister about this idea, and they said yes when they arrived, but every year. Because after all, everyone has to make a living in the city, and it is unrealistic to live in their hometown, but this dream has always existed in their hearts.
One day the year before last, I received a phone call from an official of the local Federation of Literary and Art Circles, because a local writer posted a post on Yongzhou Writers' Online about the construction of Yongzhou Cultural Village, and I made some comments with the post, which coincided with their plan to build a cultural village in lengshuitan. I bought 150 mu of land, and let me go to the site to see the land. It was said that I was going to allocate funds to local writers and painters to build a studio, and the cost per mu was only120,000, which was quite convenient. The land is next to Yongdong Highway, with flat terrain and good loess soil quality. It is full of wild bamboo, surrounded by green hills, about five kilometers away from the urban area, which is very ideal. If the literary and art workers in Yongzhou gather here to create together, it is a good place. The next day, I was expecting the moon to wait for the notice to repair the house, but after more than a year, there was still no news, and my good dream was shattered day by day.
Last autumn, because my company requisitioned land in the suburbs to build an asphalt mixing station, I encouraged my employees to live in the countryside again. In fact, many people have this plan. Later, they were more active than me, looking for acquaintances everywhere to find land in the suburbs. After months of running around, they finally chose a barren mountain. 70 years of lease, no one can live that long, and nothing can be done in the future. I saw a lot of barren hills in the suburbs, but there was no tree planting and no other use, so a large area was abandoned. Why not introduce funds from the city to grow fruit trees? At least the barren hills can be afforested, which is much better than being barren.
Last winter, we rented land, braved the rain and snow and built a road to get in. Everyone in the village likes it and says that we are practical people. Then, camphor trees and bamboo were planted on the barren hills. After the spring of this year, we went to the fruit seedling market and bought a batch of various fruit seedlings to plant. I remember that it rained in Mao Mao that afternoon, and several of us planted more than 30 fruit seedlings. I seem to have found a feeling of being a farmer and I am very happy. I can't say how happy I am to think of the fruit seedlings I planted two or three years later. Perhaps only those who work with their own hands, only those who grind their hands and bleed, can experience the concentrated pain and happiness. I asked the village chief, and I heard that it is difficult to transfer the household registration from the city to the countryside now, just as it was difficult to transfer from the countryside to Africa in those days. I remember that in the early 1990s, it cost 7,300 yuan to sell a rural-to-urban hukou in lengshuitan Phoenix Garden, and it also helped a relative's children queue up to buy it. It's not what it used to be. Now, if you want to transfer your urban hukou to suburban rural areas, I'm afraid you really have to find acquaintances to spend money on it. This has become an indisputable fact.
I didn't know what I wanted before, nor what a happy life was like. I stood on this barren hill in the country and looked at the saplings that had been planted. I know I'm getting closer and closer to my dream. I will use my own hands to make the orchards and green hills here green day by day, and it will be full of green in the future. Life is long, but it is also short. As a mortal, you may not be able to make great achievements. As long as you can realize one or two dreams in your lifetime, you will be very happy. Content is the source of happiness and life needs happiness. The happy life of life is not to let your heart be impetuous. You often feel that your mind is very calm, but you can't find this kind of peace in the city. Only by returning to the countryside can we find this feeling. I want to go back to the countryside, establish my ideal paradise and realize my dream.
The end of leaves and trees
You are a tree, I am a leaf on your branch, you give me nutrients to grow, and the slender branches grow old like this. But, I'm sorry, I didn't grow into the banana leaf you expected, not because I didn't work hard, not because of time, but because I didn't have a banana tree heart. Every time it rains, I'm afraid of becoming strange to you. Spring is tortured by winter, and you have no time to take care of it.
A drop of rain wrapped in fresh, I was washed clean, and even my mood became transparent. At this time, I was wrapped in rain and obviously magnified, but you still didn't see me clearly. You never saw me clearly. You know it's not my nature that wraps me in the rain. My nature is still immature. I don't want to meet another spring every day, the one you don't understand but tolerate.
The more I grow up, the farther the wind will blow us. The wind blows me, and I float into the blue sky. You started looking up at me, looking at me. You can't see me in your eyes. Maybe I'm not a tree and I don't know the idea of being a tree, but you don't want to talk about it. How can I ask? Every secret hidden in my heart that I can't tell anyone, we are still dating and still together, but we both know that this is only the last insistence.
Just like now, the autumn wind is coming, I surrender, and I struggle just to leave you. I owe you more than just sorry. Autumn wind witnessed that the falling night was too bleak, and the yellow leaves were sad. I didn't expect you to believe it, because the sophistry made me hesitate.
I spun down just to keep up with the pace of time and try to take a look at you. Your box is too thick. Forgive me, I have never touched it in my life. You see we are so close and the gap is so deep. How can you blame the world for not trusting us? Thanks to the autumn wind, my relationship with you is just that I don't continue to be attached to you.
You have raised me for so long, and the nutrients you have provided me can't be explained in a million years, so I am willing to crawl at your feet to keep out the cold for you in this depressing winter. No matter what happens, whether we pass the test of time or not, there is no doubt that you have loved me all your life.
I will always remember that I am a leaf and you are the trunk that gave birth to me.
Miss you, with the wind.
I woke up from a dream. I remember thinking of you in my dream. ...
Surrounded by empty, still full of the moon sky, still full of stars in the yard, quiet a little scared, really a very clear dream. In My World, the dream in which you are not there is still so beautiful, so bright and shiny, so laughing and laughing, and it is still an endless topic and poetic screenwriter. A beautiful mood is as open as a flower, and a weak heartbeat falls in your heart.
It is my soul that thinks of you. There is nothing wrong. Dreams are the soul. Only the soul will gallop in the dream and fly in an orderly way. It will restore all imagination in the dream, and it will turn all primitive evolution into reality. It's a scene where the skin can't touch the body, and it's so detailed. With this feeling, dreams are illusory, but also real and unreal special scenes. It is a continuation of change, beyond the reality that skin touches the body. Only after a deep sleep will there be that kind of dream.
Come out from the dream, and then walk into the dream, feel the tremor of the alpine cold current, a satisfied happiness, a feeling of resurrection, and miss you silently. The past is as thick as autumn leaves, full of clever light and shadow, a kind of coincidental clever thoughts. Missing is like a fallen leaf, rising and falling ...
You didn't come, really didn't come, and you are still in a place I don't know, like extinguished fireworks, and the birds have no news. In my dream, it is so clear. Put on a yarn-clearing dress in a different color than in the past. It's time for me to put on short, fluffy hair. My smiling face is not so worried. My rosy and smooth feeling radiates warm and soft light, and my slow steps are so light. It seems that my doubts have flown out of thousands of feet. It looks like a dove in the snow. Feel clear and white, that kind of colorful. ..
I woke up and my dream was so empty. I don't know how lonely you are, where the artistic conception is so extraordinary, where it is carefree and beautiful, where it is poetic and picturesque, where it is like a cup of fragrant teas, where it is helpless and where it is like a song. Is it unnecessary worry caused by my idea, or is it some illusion that my mind has stayed for a long time, so I don't think about it?
The wind blows my hair, and I feel like a boat sailing in endless darkness, looking for direction in endless voyage. That kind of confused feeling is like seeing you in a dream. I can't see your eyes clearly, and I can't tell the world in your eyes. Where am I in your eyes? Everything is as vast as the night sky, and I can't see the specific scene.
When you left, the dream woke up, and my world began to sob, just like when I said goodbye. You can remember it clearly, but I never forget it.
Daoxiang in the valley
What is this place? A deep canyon is covered with gold! What's that tone? The fragrant fragrance of rice and flowers all over the mountains and plains comes to the nose! This is a valley with a few people scattered. There are mountains all around, and a winding stream is accompanied by music from top to bottom, singing songs from the East and heading for the distance. ...
This is an autumn harvest season. Looking around, all green still dominates the valley, but this valley still has yellow patches. After all, the coloring of this valley can't be too monotonous. It is the corn stalks left after harvesting corn, neatly arranged in rows, waiting to go home and turn to ashes. It is also a kind of life blooming, burning yourself, making yourself used again and again, making a small one. There is also a kind of yellow dotted with this green valley, and that is gold. The golden yellow of rice fields is uneven, unlike the yellow of corn. These rice fields are yellow, green and semi-yellow, but the grains are still full and consistent. Their smiling faces herald a bumper harvest in this golden autumn! Standing quietly in the meantime, with eyes closed, with the rhythm of Daoxiang breathing, doing nothing and thinking nothing, the fairyland-like feeling is fascinating and memorable. ...
In the morning, the full dew reflected the smiling face of Sun's father. In the world of dew, you can see countless beautiful rainbows. Those loofah vines were too crowded in the garden overnight, so they climbed out of the fence and opened small yellow flowers. I wonder why it doesn't open other colors. Perhaps it is to create a golden autumn atmosphere; There are some leaves in that ancient well, which must be the footprints left by the chaos in the Heavenly Palace last night. Those weeds by the well have grown tall again, and grasshoppers and crickets have settled there! On the ground in front of the house, the pumpkin is still sleeping in a lazy posture. It must be because they worked too hard last night. Look, they have climbed the whole path! Count the grapefruit trees by the roadside, huh? There are two more fruits, and those fruits are a little bigger, round and lovely!
At noon, everything in Reed Valley seems to be sleeping. The sun scorched the earth with its youthful vigor. The chirping elves all went to the bamboo forest behind the house for lunch break, and the lovely dog ran inside from the outside and looked for a place to rest everywhere. All the bamboo brothers in the bamboo forest drooped their heads and fell asleep. I don't know whether it was too hot or too quiet, and gradually fell asleep. ...
Come along at dusk. It spread the whole piece of soybeans on the mountain in the west, and the sunset slowly faded. Through that yellow, I seem to see my father-in-law bending down to collect firewood on that mountain ... what a harmonious and perfect picture! If you are old, you can breathe and rest in such an environment, which is also a kind of enjoyment! The quiet valley became a little noisy, and every household was carrying tools to collect food from the house. The taste of work is so happy, and the sound of this word is also the purest and most beautiful!
At night, it gets dark. There are stars in the sky, one or two … until the sky is full of stars. Everyone enters their own small house, but when there is little smoke, everyone gathers at home to enjoy family happiness! After dinner, people shake the cattail leaf fan in the backyard, sit in the chairs under the grape trees to enjoy the cool, talk about the little things at home and in the neighborhood, and repeat yesterday's story tirelessly, as vividly as those ghosts are told. Although they have studied materialism, they can't help feeling cool when real people and real events are in front of them! Those children stopped playing and moved their two beds to the dam to enjoy the cool. They lie in bed and look at the stars in the sky. Occasionally, a strange cry passes overhead, and the children will hide under the covers and make no noise. When the sound disappears, they stick out their little heads ... God, it's getting cold. People shook their cattail leaf fans and came into the room with a little joy and fear. Children also advanced into the room than adults, and the cool bed was ignored. They really stayed.
Diligent earthworms improved the reed soil in the valley; The barking of dogs disappeared and they all patrolled the dam; The cow Cleisthenes barked twice, and the sheep bleated and went back to sleep ... In the dream, we all smelled the fragrant rice fragrance in the valley. ...
Wait silently
There is a kind of waiting in the world. Although lonely, it will also be illusory. There is only one lamp, one book, which will accompany you all your life. However, he will persist, pursue and wait without regrets. No matter how time passes, how ruthless the years are, this kind of waiting will only be silent.
Inadvertently, time has become the back, but when things change, how many predestinations will pass by, leaving only memories of the years. In the secular affair, how many infatuated men and women are hurt by love and shed tears. How many people can pursue and wait for their own with unrepentant persistence ... Although this kind of waiting is doomed to be lonely and illusory, this kind of waiting is also a kind of happiness that few people can experience, although it is a kind of infatuation and a lifetime waiting, although most people will only be accompanied by a lamp and a book in their later years.
Time, let me learn to be moved by books, to be grateful and to be grateful for life in my lonely life. In the silent waiting, I felt the freshness of the air and the beauty of nature. I know there is no difference between tragedy and comedy in the world. If you can get out of tragedy, it's comedy. If it is precipitated in comedy, it is a tragedy. If you just wait, what will happen in life, so your own sad and happy fate is in your own hands. Don't be too envious, too vain, and don't … keep your happiness simple, and everyone can control their happiness. Everyone will silently wait for their own happiness.
And my happiness is to wait silently, waiting for the happiness in my heart, lonely and simple happiness, even if there is only a lamp and a book to accompany me all my life, and the years are quiet, I will be safe. If you are safe, I will be safe.