Who is in charge of my love?
"Cherish many dissenting Confucian Hanwu, slightly lost literary talent; Tang Zong Song Zu, slightly inferior to * * * ... "On a snowy winter day, on the campus of Ruzhou No.2 Middle School in Henan Province, Chang Junshu walked with measured steps and recited * * * poems loudly. There are many people watching in front of the railing of the teaching building. After singing "Spring and Snow in Qinyuan", Chang Junshu was still unfinished, and recited "The twelfth month to Panzhou" by Shi Hong, a poet of the Song Dynasty. This year, Chang Junshu failed the college entrance examination for the first time. He walked past casually in everyone's surprised eyes. Although he was not admitted to the university, he always advocated "true temperament" and looked forward to having a gown of ancient literati. "That way, it will be more chic and elegant." The reputation of "Chang Junshu, a madman in the snow" spread like wildfire.
Twenty-nine years ago, Chang Junshu was born in a village called Guanmiao in Ruzhou City, Henan Province. Inspired by his father, who is a primary school teacher, he likes Tang poetry and Song poetry. Grandma told him folk stories such as Cowherd, Weaver Girl and Grandma Wolf, which also took root in his young mind. In middle school, he began to read Chinese and foreign classics, and under the guidance of several Chinese teachers, he showed an "alternative" way of thinking. Many of his works are regarded as model essays by teachers. However, due to "cynicism", his contribution was repeatedly rejected.
After a year of repetition, many students are tired of doing exercises during recess, and some simply don't do them. Chang Junshu is serious, just like performing arts. Some students joked with him and said, "Can you dance?" He nodded: "Yes!" Someone nearby whispered, "psycho." Chang Junshu held his head high and strode past. Another year is Teacher's Day, and he wrote a poem "To the Teacher" on the blackboard newspaper in the school corridor, with the signature "Chang Junshu congratulates the teacher on behalf of all the students for a happy holiday." This "great rebellion" was criticized by everyone: "Who can you represent?" In the face of doubt, Chang Junshu looked cold.
During this period, Chang Junshu came into contact with the works of Lu Xun and the works of Qian Liqun, a researcher of Lu Xun. Once, after he went to the Chinese teacher to help him revise his poems, he solemnly said, "tian teacher, I want to go to Peking University!" " According to the results at that time, it was impossible for Chang Junshu to be admitted to Peking University. However, Chang Junshu likes the inclusive and free-thinking academic atmosphere there, and regards Peking University as the "chief institution" to realize his university dream.
In the autumn of 2005, Chang Junshu "returned to the furnace" again. However, he is still infatuated with poetry and ode, and he never forgets it. After reading for the second time, he finally passed three books. Because most universities are private universities and the tuition fees are expensive, he chose Chinese Language and Literature as his major in the Chinese Department of jiaozuo university. After three years of study in college, Chang Junshu always sits in the front row in every class. The teacher asked the students to read the article on stage, and he was also the first to raise his hand. In the second semester of sophomore year, Chang Junshu served as the editor-in-chief of Xinyuan Literature Society. When interviewing new members, Chang Ning, who is beautiful and generous, excites him. At that time, he deliberately made things difficult and asked a harsh question: "Since you have been to Sewing Needle Park, please introduce the process of the tour impromptu." Chang Ning talked about stumbling and smiled helplessly. In Chang Junshu's view, this shy smile is like a lotus flower, full of poetry. Chang Ning's joining has filled Chang Junshu with * * *.
One day, after the magazine meeting, Chang Ning asked Chang Junshu shyly, "Do you have a bike?" He said, "Yes. What can I do for you? " Changning replied: "I want to go to the off-campus clinic to get the decoction." Chang Junshu got off his bike from the fifth floor and rushed to the girl's house downstairs. When he arrived in Changning, he summoned up his courage and said, "I'll take you there." Changning didn't refuse, but sat in the back seat of the car and fell in love with this "freak" inexplicably. On my way back to school, I crossed a narrow alley. Because Chang Junshu blocked the stall very close, Chang Ning kicked down the round stool next to him. Chang Ning gently scolded him: "Why are you so bad?" Chang Junshu was so happy that he felt crisp. He deliberately leaned his car against the stall, which made Chang Ning turn pale and his soft fists fell frequently. Finally one night, Chang Junshu asked Chang Ning, "What do you think of me?" Chang Ning said, "How?" Chang Junshu understood, and the other party knew it well. He asked, "How am I?" Chang Ning replied: "Very good." "Then let's be together." Chang Junshu can't wait. Chang Ning asked, "Who is the most beautiful woman in your mind?" Chang Junshu replied: "The White Snake, the White Snake, is the one in the new legend of the White Snake." Chang Ning said slowly, "It's a pity that I'm not a White Snake. Don't you dislike me? " Chang Junshu held Chang Ning in her arms.
That summer vacation, Chang Junshu and Chang Ning rented two rooms off campus. In order to reassure his girlfriend, he insisted on one room for each person. They bought pots and pans, and Chang Junshu likes to eat Changning's specialty, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, braised pork and red beans. During the winter vacation, Changning rented a bus with her fellow villagers and returned to her hometown in the early morning. Chang Junshu, who had fallen asleep, was coaxed by his roommate: "Go and give someone away." Through the window, Chang Junshu, standing in the snow, dialed Chang Ning's phone: "Pay attention to safety and make sure my family knows my existence." Chang Ning burst into tears and choked, "You take care, too.".
After the Spring Festival, Chang Ning invited Chang Junshu to dinner, and a sense of strangeness came into being. Chang Ning said, "My family doesn't agree with us." Finally, she added, "You are so silly and cute." At the end of 2008, Chang Junshu did not leave the campus for several months after graduation. He tried to save this feeling, often reciting love poems from all over the world downstairs in the Foreign Languages Department, and was mistaken for a madman.
Looking for dreams at Peking University.
Goodbye, dream girl
In the summer of 2009, Chang Junshu rushed to "Peking University". He heard that many security guards of Peking University Security Brigade got higher promotion by relying on the rich resources of Peking University. He also wants to have a try. When he became a security guard at Peking University, he began a dream-seeking journey.
Soon, Chang Junshu fell in love with an undergraduate girl who was a senior in Chinese Department of Peking University. During that time, they watched the ballet Swan Lake in the Centennial Lecture Hall together, and went to the old professor's house to spend the solstice and eat jiaozi together. Chang Junshu also bought bicycles and down jackets for girls. However, the sudden breakup made his injured heart worse.
Chang Junshu thought of reading. He can only solve his inner entanglements through books. 20 10 Chang junshu, an inspirational security guard at Peking university, and gan, a colleague on guard at Peking university, became online celebrities almost at the same time. 20 1 1 also published an insightful article "Sticking to the Meaning of Life and Resisting Despair —— Analysis of Some Chapters of Lu Xun's Weeds" in Chinese core journals. However, although he achieved excellent results in other subjects, Chang Junshu's dream of taking the postgraduate entrance examination was never realized because of his poor English.
In Peking University, Chang Junshu regarded the library as a treasure house for him to acquire knowledge. One day, in Peking University Library, a new female librarian, Fu Lan, caught his attention. Fu Lan is very concerned about this weak scholar who is obsessed with Lu Xun's works. She said, "If you need my help, please let me know." Sweet smile, instantly melted his heart. "Is this the kind of girl I want?" For a long time, Chang Junshu was in spirit. But he quickly dismissed the idea. "Maybe I'm too bookish. How can you worry about your life? Besides, people don't know who I am. "
Three days later, Chang Junshu met several fellow villagers and found Fu Lan. "You?" Almost at the same time, they heard their inner doubts. Fu Lan smiled shyly, but Chang Junshu still stared. At that party, they talked about their ideal lives. Chang Junshu said that he wanted to be independent and find his true self in the world of mortals. Fu Lan said that she just wanted to live a plain life. "However, even such a simple request seems to be so extravagant." Fu Lan's faint melancholy, in Chang Junshu's eyes, is like a lotus, stained with mud. After several parties, Chang Junshu made an appointment with Fu Lan. The longing for love seems to have revived. However, Fu Lan's indifference and beauty prevented him from saying "love". So he thought of writing a poem: "If life is a prisoner, don't be a prisoner of money-after all, it's tasteless, don't be a prisoner of power-after all, be a prisoner of love." Look at the moonlight, see the beautiful scenery, and come to the end of life. The Mid-Autumn Festival is also round, and it is not there. "
They talked about their views on learning. Fu Lan said: "Excellent people regard learning as a lifelong thing, and will not give up learning opportunities or lose their motivation because of immediate interests or setbacks." She also said: "Learning is not only to acquire knowledge, but also the best way to cultivate temperament and nourish the soul. In the eyes of people who can really learn, learning is necessary for a sound personality. " Chang Junshu was surprised: "How is her understanding of learning so close to mine?" Later, I became familiar with it. Fu Lan often teased Chang Junshu: "People who study literature are unreliable, and their minds are not well cultivated, but they are sentimental." He was speechless. Seeing this picture, Fu Lan's serious face suddenly turned into a brilliant flower. Later, Chang Junshu wrote in his poem: "I once suspected that the end of love is hate, and the end of affection is heartless. I don't want to, it's a lie, because there is always a heartbeat when approaching, and the sweetness of meeting in a dream. "
After entering Peking University Library, Fu Lan, who graduated from a junior college, always wanted to study psychology at Peking University School of Philosophy. Chang Junshu was impressed by Lan's persistent spirit, and they soon formed a study group. Here, Fu Lan is preparing for the undergraduate course, and Chang Junshu compiles the anthology "The Years of Broken Steps". They are often busy until late at night.
One summer night, Chang Junshu walked around to inspect the building, found a hedgehog and ran back to deal with Lan. Fu Lan didn't believe it, so he took her out of the building to look for it. But the hedgehog disappeared, and he was disappointed. Fu Lan pursed her lips and said that she had cheated. Chang Junshu is really worried. However, before long, he found the hedgehog again. Fu Lan is also very happy. She walked over gently, leaned down, looked at the lovely elf and reached out and touched it. Chang Junshu shouted, "Bite you!" Her hands trembled with fear and her fingertips touched a thorn. She gave a cry. Chang Junshu asked anxiously, "Are you bleeding? Does it hurt? " She doesn't care. When she looked down, the hedgehog had escaped. Despite the pain, Fu Lan complained that Chang Junshu scared the hedgehog away. Chang Junshu teased her and said, "If you like it, I'll catch one for you later." Fu Lan quickly waved and said, "No, no, if only people were free. Don't disturb it again. " After a while, Fu Lan was lost in thought and murmured, "This place is not as good as home. There are hedgehogs, fireflies, wild boars and many animals at home. " Chang Junshu held Fu Lan's hand and didn't speak for a long time.
In Peking University, Chang Junshu is very much looking forward to visiting a Peking University scholar. He is Qian Liqun, a famous professor in Peking University and an expert on Lu Xun. Chang Junshu wanted to ask Qian Liqun to preface his anthology, but he was a humble security guard. Will the old man preface him? Fu Lan encourages him, you can try. According to the introduction of Chinese Department of Peking University, he learned the route that Qian Liqun had taken. But now the old man has retired and lives in the dormitory area outside Peking University, and only occasionally comes to the teaching area for meetings or letters. Finally, one day, Qian Liqun, who went to the Chinese Department of Peking University to get a letter, was stopped by Chang Junshu. When he learned that the young security guard in front of him took out the anthology, he couldn't help but shine at the moment. In addition, Chang Junshu expressed his great admiration for Lu Xun and his research works on Lu Xun. A few days later, Qian Liqun agreed to write a preface for him.
At that time, Qian Liqun was studying university literature education in the 1920s and 1930s. He knew that Hu Shi, the former president of Peking University, asked teachers not to investigate those "wild students" who were absent for knowledge as long as there were vacancies in the classroom. Qian Liqun said to Chang Junshu: "The more China's economy develops, the more it needs spiritual shrines. This is not only Peking University, but also the basic function and responsibility of all university colleges. It is very rare for you to write an article on the campus of Peking University and write about the sadness of Peking University. " After hearing the exciting news, Fu Lan applauded Chang Junshu.
Holding your hand
Let's wander spiritually together.
However, the long wait is painful. Three months later, Chang Junshu still didn't get the order from Qian Liqun. Did the old gentleman forget it, or did he not want to write it for him because there was something wrong with the manuscript? Fu Lan encouraged him: "Wait, don't worry. Don't you take this time to polish and modify it? " 10 days later, Qian Liqun told Chang Junshu that the preface was written. After getting the preface of 5,000 words, Chang Junshu and Fu Lan could not help but burst into tears when they saw the old gentleman's high evaluation of his Peking University True Spiritual Vagrant. For the first time, they understand that such an insignificant little person can also have a "beautiful dream" and gain respect and recognition from others.
Under the careful guidance of Chang Junshu, Fu Lan entered the psychology major of Peking University Institute of Philosophy as an undergraduate. Two hearts are getting closer and closer, feeling the beauty of life. However, life soon showed them the cruel side.
In 20 13, Chang Junshu was 28 years old, and both he and Fu Lan thought it was time to talk about marriage. To show his sincerity, Chang Junshu decided to propose to Fu Lan's parents in person. In fact, Fu Lan's parents already knew about the "future son-in-law" and received him warmly. That night, after some conversation, Fu Lan's mother gently said to Chang Junshu, "We have a local custom that men must buy a house before they get married." Chang Junshu said that his salary is low now, his family can't afford too much money, and the housing prices in Beijing are ridiculously high. But he is sincere in treating Lan, and will definitely make Fu Lan live a suitable place through his own efforts. Afterwards, Fu Lan did not abandon Chang Junshu because of his mother's illness, but advised him not to think too much.
On the Mid-Autumn Festival that year, their love did not end because of their parents' opposition. On the balcony on the third floor of Peking University, they swore to the moon in the flickering candlelight: "Hand in hand with the wind and rain, grow old together." Seeing that her daughter was determined to marry a poor scholar, Fu Lan's parents were anxious to love her daughter. They gave an ultimatum that if there was no house, they would take Fu Lan back to his hometown.
Chang Junshu, who has always been in high spirits, was stunned by reality. Without money, love may be gone. Fu Lan told him several times in tears that "the family doesn't agree with us", and Chang Junshu was very angry about it. He accompanied Fu Lan to withdraw a deposit of 1000 1 yuan from the ATM in Peking University Campus. He said to himself, "I want to publish this book and show it to you." I am not a useless scholar. " During that time, they agreed not to meet again. "If we don't miss each other anymore, maybe we can stop seeing each other." However, in less than two weeks, Chang Junshu couldn't hold back: "Fu Lan, did you miss me?" Fu Lan smiled indifferently: "I miss you very much." When the two met, Fu Lan refused to admit that he had said something he had missed: "I'm used to it, and I don't want to." Chang Junshu made a face. He knew that Cupid's arrow had finally hit him.
At the end of 20 13, Fu Lan found a job as an administrative secretary in a company in Beijing. Chang Junshu drives a tricycle to move her. He asked his girlfriend, "Don't you feel shabby when people drive a BMW and I ride a tricycle?" Fu Lan snuggled up to him with a happy face: "I don't want to cry, I just want to laugh." Chang Junshu deliberately dealt with Lan, saying, "If this book doesn't catch fire, I'll throw myself into the lake." Fu Lan panicked and took out more than 100 love poems that he had copied neatly. Chang Junshu was shocked, and a dying poetic heart was caught.
From July, 2065438 to July, 2004, Changjiang Literature and Art Publishing House officially published Chang Junshu's collection of works "Broken Steps", in which love poems caused high praise and crazy reprinting by tens of thousands of netizens. The romantic love between Chang Junshu and Fu Lan, which has been silent for several years, also unveiled the mysterious veil.
This is the spiritual tramp of Peking University: a prisoner making love at an unnamed lake. Want to know more, please collect.
Spiritual tramp Peking University