Wen/Dai Wenzi
I would like to have paper and pen to write the most heart-warming sentences every time I miss you, but not tell you.
I am willing to read Tong Hua’s books, listen to Zhao Lei’s songs, and watch Richard Linklater’s movies alone, in every line of text, every melody, and every shot. ,Looking for you. You are moved by your emotions, you are happy by your joy, and you are sad by your sadness.
I am willing to sing for you, become your favorite voice, play with an unskilled ukulele, and sing the most beautiful emotions in my heart in the silent autumn night. .
I am willing to tear away all pretense, throw away all cowardice, overdraw all my luck in this life and past lives, forget all work, and walk through the long blocks just to see you.
I am willing to wait for you under this purple linden tree. Being late is the privilege you gave up, and the aphasia is my clumsy opening. You bloom like a lotus in the late autumn breeze, and come to me slowly and rhythmically from Lianxi's words.
I am willing to slowly sip this cup of soy milk with a light red bean flavor. You will not find that all the little thoughts you had when you were awake last night have been captured by me at this moment. I suppressed the warmth in my heart and tried my best to tell a stupid joke.
I am willing, if the bus is a little slower, a little more crowded, and a little more swaying, you might be able to hold the corner of my clothes for a little longer, until I finally muster up the courage to reach out and hold you. over your fingertips.
I do. It’s me who is sick at this time, not you. I talk too much and you talk too little. I don’t want you to have to frown every time you cough, suppressing the longing to hold you in my arms.
I am willing, you say something again that is so annoying and annoying, every time I happen to speak your mind rightly. You patted my arm and counted all the similarities we had. Although you have slapped me twenty-seven times, I am still chattering without getting tired.
I am willing to be by your side like this, follow your footsteps, comply with your temper, and meet all your expectations. You asked me repeatedly why I always accommodate you so much. Girl, why do you have to force a shy person to tell you the answer you already know? All these natural and unconscious actions of mine are all because of you.
I am willing to hold you up high in a long queue with people, so that you can see the scenery that no one else can see. Unfortunately, I am not 1.87 meters tall, so you can gently squeeze me. Palm, glare at me, did you hear the sound of my heart skipping a beat at this moment?
I am willing to hide aside and turn into air when you meet an acquaintance and look embarrassed. But you never noticed the trace of resentment and loss on my face when your slender body broke out of my hand.
I would like to, when you are tired from walking, find a grassy slope and sit side by side with you, watching the gentle breeze coming from the lake and the waves rolling on the lake. The sunset is just right, and I slowly tell you a dream-like story, confessing to you the girls I once loved. You suddenly leaned on my arms. Unprepared, I began to hate my thin figure.
I am willing to secretly look at your beautiful side face every time you look back inadvertently. Your eyebrows are downcast, unwilling to look into my eyes. I am willing to accept it, but I don’t understand it. I may understand it, but I am unwilling to accept it.
I am willing to lead you across the endless traffic in the city evening after sunset. You whispered in my ear, "Do we still have the change to go back?" Ah, we, we, you said we, what a beautiful word!
I am willing, this light rail train that arrives early will never stop at the station, let me tell you all my childhood memories; I am willing, I will see you again when I say goodbye, and I will see you again after that, and I will never say goodbye before leaving. The spoken request was rehearsed to the air again alone.
......
In fact, there are still many, many "I dos" that have not been realized. In every lonely night when I toss and turn, accompany me sleepless and miss me. .
I am willing that in the years to come, a bottle of Pepsi Cola in the morning, a bottle of rock sugar Sydney in the afternoon, and a bottle of AD calcium milk in the evening can be delivered to you by me. If you can, please drink some of the silver flower fetal chrysanthemum I gave you; I am willing to tell you personally on your 20th birthday that after eighteen you will be nineteen, and after nineteen you will be eighteen again. If you don't want to grow up, I will turn the world into your paradise.
I am willing to walk through life and death again, just to take you to taste the stewed local chicken with matsutake mushrooms that can be broken by blowing bullets; I am willing to go to Harbin with you to see the ice sculptures, Let me tell you the story of what happened at the Youth Hostel in the North that year, where I went to see the white doves flying above the Sophia Church.
I would like to read a book that both of us like with you. The sun shines in from the window sill. When we get tired of reading, we will look at each other and kiss silently; I would like to read with you quietly. An Indian movie, Rab? Ne? Bana? ??Di? Jodi, huddled in front of a small computer screen, sharing a pair of headphones, cuddling with each other.
I am willing to hold you in my arms and kiss you gently, not your lips, not your hands, but the shallow scar on your forehead. I want to smooth out your external wounds. , I am also willing to wipe away the pain in your heart; I am willing to write down every moment with you in the article, without comments, likes, or rewards.
I just hope you can see it, don’t hate it, and won’t question me, do you think what you think is what you think?
I hope that when I grow old and am unable to write, I can still reread Yeats's poems and read Duras's novels. I will think of you in every line and sentence.
Thousands of words, every drop of thought. At this moment, the deepest love words I can think of are not those three words, nor are they together, but I am willing.
Wait, it’s not over yet, there is another one I do, the last one!
I am willing to hold hands with you like this, not a penny more, not a penny less, so just right; I am willing to become a purple linden tree, growing where you pass by, no matter how wind blows or rains, it will still be there. The branches and leaves are stretched out, not swaying, not sharp. When you pass by, there will be a green shade waiting for you. Because the love sown in the soil has given me the courage to carry it.
I am an incomplete person, my heart is already broken, and when it is cloudy, it starts to leak. Maybe one day, maybe not that day, you will be willing to say "I do" to me.
Can you? I'm waiting for your reply.
2015.10.9 Night