Honey, there is no one else outside, only myself.
Zhou: Everyone has a true self, but it is surrounded by body, emotions, concepts and roles, so it is unknown. The ultimate goal of philosophical meditation, religious enlightenment and spiritual practice is to break the siege, meet him, know him and return to him. Once you keep this true self, people won't get lost in those encirclement circles. As the author said, the unchangeable mind will be love, joy and peace. The biggest gain of studying philosophy is that I seem to have a separation, which can distinguish the spiritual self from the physical self and keep the spiritual self awake. In fact, the truth between people is interlinked. People have a higher self, which can transcend the experience and emotion of the physical self. The goal of life is to wake him up. This understanding is the core of all positive life philosophies and religions. This higher self, philosophy is called rationality, Christianity is called soul, Buddhism is called pure heart, and the corresponding concepts in various spiritual theories are spirit or inner. The theory of spirit divides the structure of human nature into three levels: body and mind. The body is the body, and the heart is the psychological activity of feeling and perceiving emotional concepts. Both are influenced by external things, and even domination is not free. Spirit is the spiritual essence of human nature. He is free and can solve practical physical and mental problems with spiritual strength.
Zhang Defen, when austerity is in its infancy, it is more painful than flowering after all, and the time is ripe.
We all hope that life will be smooth sailing. However, it is in the turmoil of life that we can redefine ourselves and choose whether to tighten up in the bud and run our lives in a safe mode, or whether we are willing to break out and enjoy the beauty after blooming.
When I slowly climbed out of the bottom, I found myself stronger, more able to let go of life in Thailand, and more farsighted.
A person is not how many classes you have taken, how many books you have read and how many teachers you have worshipped. How many hours you work, you will be completely transformed. In the end, you still have to face the dark side of your heart and negative personality traits. God will force you to face these things through some painful situations and experiences. If you still run away, it will only be worse.
Now I just want to be healthy and happy, that's all. What I want to be happy and happy is not based on the relationship with others, but to enjoy myself and have a good time. I have almost completely put aside the plot of saving others. If I feel that someone needs my help, I am creating victims and depriving others of their power and rights. Of course, I can still do something beneficial to others, but I don't stick to the process.
You can only apologize if you are strong inside, but you must be stronger to forgive. You need the strongest person inside to forgive yourself.
The hardest thing for self-growth is to accept yourself.
There are plots and roles in life scripts, and we usually have a deep recognition of our roles, thinking that we are the protagonists of this bitter drama. We are obsessed with it, and our choices are not immutable, but if we want to change our roles, you need superb acting skills. When you find an independent and confident female image in your mind, always think of her and try to figure out how the world will react under the same situation from her perspective. How to react? As long as you change the nature of the role, from sadness to joy, and persist for three months, you will rewrite the script of life. According to my experience, as long as we sincerely declare to the universe, our deep desire for the universe will respond to us in different ways. The key lies in whether you are brave and honest with yourself, and whether you are willing to admit that your acting skills are not good enough. If you want to change your current unsatisfactory role, the role will always be a role, and you will never be the real you, but there are roles.
Another way to help us accept ourselves is to look at regret and guilt in different ways. In fact, what happened in the past should have happened, and it won't be different because you solved it at that time, restrained yourself and gained insight into the opportunity. So whenever I don't feel guilty or guilty, we are all arrogant. We think what happens will be different because of us. It really is. When we do something so-called wrong, we can seek the understanding and forgiveness of the injured party and take some measures to make up for it, but the sense of guilt and self-blame is really unnecessary. Just like divorced parents, if you are full of confidence and high spirits, the children will sincerely bless you. If you get along with children with guilt, children will take advantage of your weakness and cause some imbalance and disharmony in your relationship because of your guilt.
I observed the life track behind me, and found that every bad thing in my eyes, almost without exception, brought me some good things, wisdom experience or unexpected gains, which really made me more grateful, so I must be grateful in the face of good things. Don't be too arrogant and self-righteous just because I'm lucky.
How to accept the imperfection of things? Quite simply, I admit that I know no more than God, and he will give me the best. This one is gone, there are others. Some people say that this is surrender, but now I prefer to say that it is to let go of control and stop thinking that you know what must be right and what must be wrong, and stop thinking that what you want is good for yourself. When what you want doesn't come, can you say to yourself, since you didn't get it?
We have all heard the saying, "Lost in the East Corner, Mulberry Harvest". In fact, this is what many old people say. A person's blessings are fixed. When he was young, he was too frivolous and used up all his blessings. When he gets old, it may be harder. If he had suffered more when he was a teenager, he could have a comfortable life when he worked hard.
Now there is really nothing in my life that has to be like this. I may have a wish list. How do I want things to develop? However, after being taught many times, the humility I have learned and the wisdom I have gained through vicissitudes tell me that nothing needs to develop as you think, maybe it is destined to do so, for no reason, or there may be a better gift to come. No matter what it is, keeping a humble and uncontrollable attitude will at least make your life easier, with less burden, and of course you will be happier. Why not?
The other person between husband and wife is really a projection of himself. He must have some qualities you want, but he doesn't and he doesn't dare. Of course, there are also some shortcomings that you hate most and don't want to admit. So the imperfections you see in your lover are actually about yourself. Sometimes when your mother goes out, everything he says needs to be said to himself. When we look at him, we are also looking at ourselves. What he needs to correct is what we need to correct. This can't be deceiving. The unfinished topic between us and our parents will always be revealed repeatedly in our lover, giving us a chance to face and smooth it over. There is a female friend who always dislikes each other and is too kind to him, but likes men with personality and ignores him? Later, he realized that what he was looking for in his mind was the prototype of his father, which unconsciously attracted a man like his father to her life. His father is aloof and never says a gentle and sweet word to her. He is used to this intimate relationship model, which he unconsciously repeats in his life. He wants to jump out of this mode. He wants to explore his father's heart, remember his father and express his love in different ways. If he can feel his father's love in his heart, he can understand his father. Because of the reality of education in the era of identity and personality, he can make up for the inner hole when he can't clearly express his love. He doesn't have to find a man with a similar father image as her partner, because she unconsciously wants to change those men and make them open their hearts to love her. This is the sequela of my failure to successfully transform my father when I was a child. If he can accept his father, he is a person who can't express his love, but there is still a fragile side. She needs to be loved so that his wounds can heal and he won't repeat the same mistakes. When I was a child, my parents often missed work, and my mother was very critical of me. I don't believe my parents love me in my heart, so I am often sad alone. In my life, my bear claw partner doesn't love me, and I won't fail every time. I'm sure I can find something, and this has become the main source of our dispute, that is, I don't love him enough, which is caused by my love for my parents and my absentmindedness. If I want the other person to treat me the way I want, I can't accept this way, because if he uses other ways, I will be completely charitable. There is no such idea in my selfish eyes. I think it takes a long way to know my own problems and really recover in the future. I am still on the road, because our habits and inertia are too strong. At every level of life, it is really not easy to get rid of inertia. As long as I know clearly in my heart, I have a goal, and that is to become a free and independent person. I believe that the love of parents and partners is their greatest strength and will help us get closer to the finish line. As long as you continue to pay attention to and feel their love for you, you will leave your finish line.
How to accept parents? The way I learned is that I know in my heart that I should take responsibility and not let my parents worry about the past. How will they treat me? What kind of education and environmental responsibility have you given me? Instead, I admit that this is my choice, and then every time I see myself blaming my parents and blaming my parents, I remind myself that this is a job that I must always remind myself, because whenever you see yourself and want to be a victim, even if you can't get out for a while, as long as you know in your heart, what is going on? You can gradually take responsibility for yourself, which is a necessary development process in the process of growing up. If you don't want to live in the shadow of your parents, this is the fastest and most effective way.
As for how to accept your children, for me, this is a question of expectation. Many of us regard children as a continuation of life, and unconsciously place all our unfulfilled wishes and future hopes on them. After you have experienced something, you will understand how selfish it is to use children to satisfy your emptiness, fear and vanity. Only if you are willing to look at your life can you have the ability. I would like to see a child as an independent individual. He came to this world through you and completed his own life mission and topic, which may not be entirely related to you. When parents can be independent and harmonious themselves and become their children's best relatives and partners, you will see that your children are so perfect.
Happiness is a choice, and your state of mind determines your happiness level.
Be responsible for your happiness. The first step of happiness is to live in harmony with our life, not to resist, to bow to our own life and life situation, and to accept him sincerely. In life, we often use our strength wrongly to resist the progress of life and even complain. In fact, what we should do first is to surrender and then change collectively. We are tired of people and things outside because we are tired of ourselves and we are lost. Can I allow it to exist? In fact, we know very well that it already exists whether you allow it or not, so even if you reluctantly agree, you will have a small force rising from the bottom of your heart, because you allow something you don't like to exist, which is the first step of submission. Try to look back to yourself from the outside in your life, and you will find that your inner strength is gradually accumulating and growing. We should have a humble heart to believe in this world. This universe, because there is a supreme power or wisdom in the universe, seek his help and tell him your unhappiness and boredom. When you establish a communication channel with it, you will find a shortcut to yourself and turn the energy you want to give up into positive energy. In fact, their essence is the same, but you have never seen that you have other choices before. From now on, accept everything that happens in your life. It's harder to escape When you ask why, you should realize that you are competing with the true god or the other person again. Acceptance means handling without asking the reason, letting nature take its course and feeling at ease.
Some people say that my father won't let me have a boyfriend, and I am very painful.
Can you explain for a moment whether this idea is true or not?
Does the person I associate with have to be recognized and supported by my parents?
The fact is that fathers are not always able to support and recognize the objects their children associate with.
If you can say that my other half doesn't have to be approved and supported by my parents, this sentence is as true as the original sentence. Why did you choose the one that made you miserable? When you can recognize the phrase hug, then the problem that bothers you is not a problem, is it?
If you listen to your parents, you will be very unhappy when you break up with your boyfriend, and these emotions will explode one day. When they break out, what you do, what you say and do will hurt your parents' hearts even more. More importantly, your life will be a mess. When you recognize my partner, you must get the recognition and support of your parents. This sentence is very stressful because you feel cheated by your parents when you are with your boyfriend.
So many times it's just an idea that pains us, not the truth.
Another person said that my mother had high expectations of me, and I would try my best to be worthy of her, but I was very unhappy.
Now we might as well think about it, is this the law? Is it true? You are unhappy when you say this sentence, so are you worthy of him? Is the right to comply with parents' expectations filial? Can we be ourselves? I can also hurt my parents. I should also learn to be responsible for my own happiness, instead of basing my happiness on expectations of others. As children, we should understand that our parents' pain is beyond our capacity. Like my father, she has high expectations for me. Sometimes she will put a pair of big hands on my shoulders and say that the happiness of her daughter's father's life depends on you. Don't let me down. Be good, okay? I am burdened with the happiness of my beloved father, so I have been urging myself to do my best and make him happy, but I am not happy. With the deepening of my study, I gradually realized that no matter how well I behaved, I could never satisfy my father. The hole in his heart is deep in his heart, and no one can satisfy it except herself. After learning this, my horizons will be broadened. I live my own life, but I am still very filial to my parents. I often go back to see them and try my best to meet their needs. But I am an independent person. Strangely, when I decided not to work hard for my father, he seemed to let go of my bondage and learn to be responsible for his emotions. This is the best gift I can give my parents. My father learned to be responsible for his emotions and reactions. If I can put it another way, my mother has high expectations of me. But I don't have to do everything I can to deserve him. This sentence is as true as the last one. If this person can believe this sentence, maybe his relationship with his mother and himself will go further.
Remember, everything that happens to you is a gift, but some gifts are ugly in packaging, which makes us feel resentment or fear, so it may be a disaster or a gift. If you can confidently give him some time and patiently open this horrible shell, you will enjoy the richness and beauty it contains. It is a tailor-made gift for you.