一
"There are people returning home in March, and the sound of horses treading on the shallow grass urges them to return in spring. Today is the way home..." In the drizzle at dusk, a distant melody , some vivid and some sad in the dark night.
Don’t be so miserable that you become discouraged. You know what I want to say now. The cat catches the mouse on January 1st, it’s still early... The moonlight of childhood illuminates whose sorrow, the path has already been cleared. vast.
On a moonless night, you wander low and slow, and your footsteps creak in the dark night. Just like when you were a child, you never say a word wherever you go.
In the city at night, at nine o'clock in the evening, the silent moon hangs high in the corner of the sky. The night is not deep, the streets are busy with traffic, and the dim lights make this spring particularly lonely. The hustle and bustle of the day, The lights on the top of the mountain twinkled with the stars, and the little bird snuggled tightly in its mother's arms.
2
Facing the shadow of life, I stared at the earth calmly. I walked alone through the Aegean Sea, Potala, the city and the wilderness. At this moment, this It has just fallen into the night, and the music in the square is in full swing. You walk through alley after alley, looking for the light in the dark night. The moon shines brightly on Kyushu, and there are a few stars in the sky. Your hometown is not far away, and you have lost the direction of your home.
Now, you'd better lie to life, pretend to be innocent, and still nestle happily and carefree beside your father, who gently strokes my head, Like stroking a puppy or kitten in the middle of the night, in a dark cabin, with joyful laughter after a day's work, you fall into a deep dream beside the lively and warm fire.
I admit that I am not the darling of life. I am ugly, clumsy, and I have no chance of being free and easy. You may not be surprised, I have read countless people, and I can walk in the world without any mistakes. I can't do it. I really can't do it. With all kinds of life and anxious mentality, I can't make myself calm, like a rock, standing steadily in the wind and rain.
I am in a state of embarrassment, I am overwhelmed with worry, I am at a loss as to what to do, feel ashamed, lonely, lonely, pitiful, your indifference, your roar, your hysteria, I cannot resist firmly, I just want to change. Like a mouse crossing the street, it quickly found a dark hole to crawl into.
Three
In the age of poetry and wine, the distance is always unreachable. The sun is clear, the sky is empty, the earth is vast, ice and flowers are together, what withers will eventually wither, and Rotting, my time is dying, my time is dead, invisible, without a trace, yes, dead, just die.
Those prosperous lights and shadows are covered with leaves and ashes, and the light in the eyes dims little by little until it loses all its brilliance.
The sky of our love blooms in the autumn maple leaves, cools, sinks, soaks the yellow soil, sinks into the grave, sinks into the dark moment that will never see the light of day, time flies by All the joy and sorrow are gone.
In my castle in the air, in my desolate countryside, those flowers that I once loved were in full bloom, those wintersweets that faced the frost and snow, those chrysanthemums that stood alone on the east fence facing the morning glow and dusk, those dark nights The fragrant tuberose, the epiphyllum blooming in an instant, everything, a little lonely shadow scattered everywhere.
However, the gorgeous fireworks and the joyful and exciting colors passed and dissipated little by little from the beginning of my life, until finally they escaped from this once warm space and fled to I don’t know where I’m going, it’s empty, empty, empty.
Those colorful totems have died... with the last imagination and hope, the totem rose to the distant clouds, and since then it has been wandering around with the clouds in the field, and it is omnipresent in the sky. Home, including body and soul.
I no longer want to see this dazzling world, and I no longer want to hear your gorgeous or lavish words. I am insignificant, I am insignificant, I am a particle in the wind passing through the sinking sand, I am this dark night The loneliest shadow, I don’t want to hear solemn dedications, I don’t want to hear sweet and pretentious praises.
You have a beautiful face and a sharp vision. I am an old book in the corner of the house that has been dusty for a long time. It cannot carry so many new and bright things. The ancient yellowed handwriting makes the distant Time has some meaning. The matter of Chen Guzi and rotten sesame seeds has been ignored by the world and the family. Only you are deeply engraved in time. When you suddenly think of it at an occasional moment, it still shines brightly and you are moved. Almost brought tears to my eyes.
Lonely nights, dusky nights, the horizon is chaotic and hazy, lively nights, silent nights, so much of the past has long since died at that ignorant eighteen years old.
Just keep it like this, everything is in vain, you kowtow and bow six times, and practice all kinds of piety like eighteen martial arts, everything is not what you want, everything is the blessing of others, everything is It's other people's promotion of cups and cups, everything is a crystal clear oath, everything is a strong ambition to overcome thorns and thorns, everything is a lofty ambition to travel through mountains and rivers.
I was a pawn who had never crossed the river and was eaten mercilessly. I didn’t say a word, only silence like a rock. I couldn’t be a little depressed or forced to be happy. Others’ vivid rhetoric exhausted all the arrangements. I am able to do things, I am silent and taciturn, I am a city like Waterloo, desolate, lonely, dull, and dead silent. You go with your horse and I go with my pawns, splashing ink, vigorously, and can't find any soul.
Only that old friend who tells the truth and not nice words is still by your side silently. No oath is needed, just that comfortable figure warms the whole spring.
Like a statue that stays in pain, in the restlessness and calmness of every dusk, I stretch my weak hands towards the dawn in the dark night, knowing that everything is passing by and everything is in vain.
The despised love is still worthless and pitiful, the trampled wishes are still there, the ground is a mess, the memory makes my smiling face clouded, in this sunset, at this moment, I want to kneel down and beg urgently. At this dawn, I dedicate my sadness and love to the burning dawn and the melodious spring breeze in the dawn.
Four
Mountain streams, fields, tombs, brilliant flowers, brilliant seasons, you can never find the fragrance to rely on, those wild flowers, purple flowers, yellow flowers , the white flowers that are all over the mountains and plains, who is thinking quietly, who is walking in the wilderness, searching, walking and stopping, can you find the light and shadow in the past, my dear you.
The leaves are red with frost, and the sky is slightly cool. A life comes into this world without crying or surprise. He does not understand human language yet. In any season, the flowers wither, but they are still prosperous and in full bloom. Life walks, smiles, and then disappears, forever, in this vast and bustling world.
The harvest and surprise after autumn fill the empty sky, and the whimpering geese in the field fly to wherever they are. A season of vigorous and struggling finally ends in a season, the sun is no longer sunshine, and the shadows are no longer It is a shadow, the wind blows through the wilderness, blows through the hometown, blows through the foreign land, blows through, I don’t know where anyone’s long life goes.
The surprise of life, the surprise, once twinkling, the cold stars in the dark night, once stung someone's tender dreams, the dry land, covered with someone's broken wings, the wind started, the wind passed, The yellow sand and dilapidated catkins were blown away.
When you still don’t understand human language, you are so sweet, and the scenery of your soul is like a mountain stream, flowing through every season and every inch of land, and the scenery floating in the dark night. Starlight and moonlight startled the birds in the forest again.
Who is still fishing for the light of youth in the Milky Way at the bottom of the bitter well? Who is still looking for those seemingly absent souls in the dark wilderness, when will those pure dreams wake up? , at freezing point, boiling point, I walked through this naked wilderness.
The city is bustling, the lights are lonely, you are alone, you want to see when you walk, you can only understand a little bit of this world, a little bit, music, a little bit of music, The past is lingering, and that cup of coffee contains so much joy and sorrow. Where I am, where the night is, there is no emotion, only the quiet night, with the witch, the little fairy, and Chang'e, each singing lonely songs.
The whispers make the roses bloom quietly at night, and the tears and starlight together fill the silent wilderness and night. All things grow and all things have animism. At this moment, you are your own friend, Everything is so far away. In this quiet night, you can't see the nagging witch talking, nor can you see Chang'e's silence tonight.
Only this month is as bright as a moon, as quiet as the dawn of time. On such a night, the buds of spring quietly grow in the wilderness of the heart. There are no miracles in the world, everything is ordinary, crying for the lost, or laughing loudly. , everything is of no use, everything is peaceful, I am lonely because I am lonely, I cannot see the angel's wings, I cannot hear Chang'e's singing, Guanghan Palace, in the desolate night, I can only stare silently.
I fell asleep because I was going to sleep. I had no reason to wake up. In a deep dream, my love was vividly expressed in a painful cry. I woke up when everything fell asleep, the city and the wilderness. , extraordinarily lonely and extraordinarily warm, I seemed to see wild swans flying in the night sky, and little fairies whispering and smiling in their dreams.
Five
All immortality, there is no need to fear death, whether you are seventeen or seventy years old, there is no death or darkness in this world, who is calling for someone in the dark night? Century, a past century, a future century, who walked into a field, walked into a starlight, walked into a warm little house, walked into a witch's dreamland.
In the corner of the bustling square, I found a witch who seemed both good and evil, or a panicked man. I wanted to listen to his stumbling words that seemed both crazy and crazy. I didn’t believe anything. I have a premonition and am not afraid of any bad omen. I do not avoid slander, blows, the cold malice of this world, how this evil poisons this pure world, this pure sunset, the world is not dead. The stars are still there, the moonlight is still there.
I don’t have a strong body, I don’t have the magic of my soul. I walked through a moonlit night and across a wilderness. The wind blew away my tired soul. Under a clear moonlight, I had no direction to move forward. Walking south, walking north, dust and sand are raised on the grassland, black horses fly across the grassland, and in the spring, new swallows peck at the spring mud, playing and laughing.
Whose prophecy will lead to disaster, the wind is rumbling, I tie my destiny to my saddle, whether it is now or in the future, still moonlight, still clear, I will always stand upright On Ma Cheng, that ignorant, reckless boy.
I am satisfied with the decay of this life, and I am willing to use my whole life as a reward to repay the wilderness of the moonlit night and the green grassland where the horses' hooves gallop.
The breeze is coming. Who has ever been used to drinking alone on a moonlit night? The bright moon is in the sky, telling the story of the past life and the lonely visitor. The rivers are splashing with ink, and the endless love and persistence in this world are left. Now only three thousand feet of white hair are left, and the moon is splashing. Star river, spring water swallowing quietly, looking at the long road with dim lights, wind and smoke, all alone, everything is empty, it is said that life and death are heartbreaking. In the quiet night sky tonight, the moon has a false charm.
Listen to the rushing water under the bridge and the dark tree shadows in the mountain stream. Who still remembers the long and meditative moonlight? After walking this way, the red flowers on the other side of the river are blooming on both sides of the river. Drink. Drink this bowl of Meng Po soup and everything will disappear.
I would like to use my death to achieve a resurrection of time, a dream, lying down and listening to the rain at night when the moon sets and the crows sing. These are truly words that pierce my heart.
Six
Wind, flowers, snow, moon... everything blooms one after another in silence, destroyed by lightning, admiring the light, all dark moments, sleeping in the tunnel of time If I don't wake up, the green grass by the river, the violent wind and rain, a sigh, look forward to the spring, I stand like an empty scarecrow at night, let the bright moonlight illuminate the floating dust on my body, which accumulates thicker and thicker, look towards the spring, a wanderer in a foreign land People no longer have trembling, burning eyes and thoughtful dreams.
Just like this, I walked down the hill in the imaginary evening breeze, and walked into the silent moonlight of my hometown. Who is singing stars, stars, moon, moon? The hometown I can never go back to is white and bleak. In the moonlight, I am sad alone, my hometown in the song is sad, the cat is catching the mouse on January 1, it’s still early...
Who is lost in the past and can’t find the direction when he came, in this dark night Who is illuminated by the beam of light? Wherever the heart is placed, there are gentle shoulders. Those despairs that have defeated you give this dark night bits and pieces of starlight. You have your direction and he has his past. The moon is shining tonight. Frank and magnanimous.
The flowers are blooming. On such a night, one flower, two flowers, three flowers, at this moment, in the clear moonlight and crystal tears, I read and think, I walk and sing, in one In the poem, I have traveled thousands of miles and crossed thousands of mountains and rivers. Don't ask or tell. Just this quiet night is enough. At this moment, I don't need words, no need, no need at all.
Only the heart can pass through the dust, only love can change the world. You are walking in your vigorous and majestic sea of ????people. I am walking in this vast night, the silent and warm moon, the moon, in the heart of the sky, you , in my heart.
2021.3.11 The Second Note of Feng Sheng Dai
4.4 Revised
7.19 Final Draft
Jiang Jianhua, pen name Feng Sheng, Ruye , a native of Dongping, Shandong. Graduated from the Chinese Department of Tai'an Teachers College and is a student of the Young Writers Advanced Research Class of the Zhejiang Writers Association. His works are scattered in "Shandong Literature", "Selected Prose Magazines", "Children's Literature", "Prose Poetry World", "Yanhe", "Horse", "Prose Poems", "Writer's Newspaper", "China Youth Daily", "Taian Daily", etc. He has won the Outstanding Essay Award from the Chinese Academy of Arts, the Outstanding Dunhuang Essay Award (preface by Xie Mian), the third prize in the Purple Sophora Cup National Internet Literature Competition (Jia Pingwa is the consultant, and Li Guoping, the judge of the Contradictory Literature Award, is the judge), Changjiang Literary Publishing House Society, Huacheng Publishing House's outstanding works, third prize in the Horse Cup National Prose Contest, Wuhan Municipal Party Committee Propaganda Department and Culture and Tourism Bureau's "Acura New Era Praise for Greater Wuhan" Essay Excellence Award, Tai'an Daily News Second Prize, Tai'an Teachers College Summer Social Practice First Prize for Investigation Report etc. The prose "The Night of Butterflies" was selected into the 2018 volume of the Chinese Writers Association's Chinese Writers Network premium collection, and the essay "The Boy Called Deng Xixian" was selected into the 2018 volume of the Qilu Literary Works Annual Exhibition of the Shandong Writers Association, and was also selected into various books. He was awarded the honorary title of Advanced Individual in Counterpart Support for Beichuan Post-Disaster Recovery and Reconstruction by the Shandong Provincial Department of Health. Live in Tai'an.