Author's note: This article was published in the "Grassland Past" column of "Northern News" on December 17, 2008 and in the 2007 autumn and winter joint issue of "Changhe" literary magazine. This year marks the 30th anniversary of my grandmother’s death, and I am publishing this article again to commemorate my grandparents. In the 2008 summer issue of "Changhe" magazine, Teacher Liu Feng's commentary article "The Sunrise on the Long River is Redder than the Fire" commented on this article and was also published together. The full text is attached.
It has been eighteen years since my grandma left us, that was August 5, 1989. She left in such a hurry that her children and grandchildren were not even mentally prepared. She was eighty years old that year, and she was still talkative and thinking very clearly before she died.
After my grandma passed away, I often missed her. I wanted to write about my grandma’s trivial things several times, but before I could write the word “grandma”, I burst into tears, so I had to put down my pen. Eighteen years have passed. For eighteen years, I cannot forget my grandma. The past years and many details of life often come to my mind. People, no matter you are thirty or fifty, as long as the people who love you are still alive, you are a child who will never grow up, and you will have endless blessings that people can envy!
I often say that grandma is a great woman. Her greatness lies in her shrewdness and foresight! She changed the fate of our family. Without her, our family would not have been able to get out of the "Shawowo" where our ancestors have lived for many years. Today, I am definitely still like my ancestors, working at sunrise and resting at sunset on that barren land.
My grandma was born in 1909. She was a typical "woman with small feet". She worked on her knees all her life, hoeing and cutting the land. Her foot pain was a lifelong pain.
Although the foot wrap restrained her feet, it never restrained her strong desire to change her destiny!
She does not know a word of Chinese characters, but she understands the principles of life quite thoroughly. She often said that being uneducated is like an ox or a Trojan horse. Only by being able to read and write can you know the books and be polite, and then you can get ahead.
In 1950, when the township government was just established, the first thing it focused on was running schools. My father was already fifteen years old at that time, well past the age of schooling, but my grandma resolutely sent my father to school. Because of his father's studies, his grandfather often had conflicts with his grandmother. Grandpa, who had just turned over, was allocated dozens of acres of land and a few cows from the landlord Lao Cai. He needed labor! Grandpa only has such a son, how can he be allowed to study? Grandpa couldn't figure it out, but grandma insisted on selling pots and iron to support his father's education. In this way, my father worked part-time and studied part-time until he graduated from the fifth grade. At that time, fifth grade students in rural areas were more popular than college students now. When the township leaders found out, they immediately made my father a clerk in the township.
My grandma, a woman with small feet, changed a man’s fate and also changed the fate of our family.
Now my father has retired and is taking care of himself at home. The four of us, brother and sister, plus my two daughters, have all gone to college. Some are graduate students or doctoral students, some are working in Beijing, and some are living abroad.
After my father started working, my mother became the only labor force in the family. A kind-hearted rural woman became the breadwinner of the family. However, due to cultural and conceptual differences, as well as the lack of emotional foundation in the past, under the influence of the trend of unconditional divorce in the 1950s, my father and mother broke up. With tears in my eyes, my mother pretended to be full of grievances, and she married me to a place fifteen kilometers away from our village. I, who was only two years old at the time, changed my name and surname.
My stepfather was originally a bachelor and extremely poor. After my mother got married, life became even more difficult.
I went through a period of time when I didn’t have enough to eat, didn’t have enough clothes to wear, and was extremely poor and helpless. When I was five or six years old, I became my mother's good helper. I helped my mother raise a younger brother and a younger sister. Cooking, feeding pigs, herding donkeys, digging bitter herbs, I can do it all. In the twelfth lunar month of winter, I went out to collect cow dung (used as fuel) before the rooster crow. All of this left a deep imprint on my soul that is difficult to erase...
My mother and I I really miss my grandma by leaving. An old lady with small feet from the countryside would come to my mother every now and then on foot or on a donkey to see her grandson. Later, she would try hard to get me back. For this reason, grandma was not less angry with her mother. This process lasted six years. When it was time for me to go to school, my stepfather sent me to a private school in the production team (actually it was just a literacy class). I only attended school for one day. When I came home from school, I sat on my stepfather’s two-cake oxcart. He used chalk to scribble on the gear box. But I didn’t go to that school the next day. This matter reached the ears of grandma, like an ant on a hot pot. Grandma came to see her mother and stepfather again, and started rounds of difficult "negotiations", and finally reached such an unwritten agreement: As long as I am allowed Surnamed Wang, when she returned to the Wang family, her grandmother gave up her horse and gave her stepfather a donkey.
I returned to the Wang family and took the surname Wang from my biological father.
At that time, the donkey had just given birth to a calf, and the mother and son were inseparable. The kind-hearted stepfather asked him to give him both the foal and the foal, and he would raise the foal and return the foal after weaning.
I still remember very clearly the scene when my grandma and I took the little donkey home a year later: It was a late autumn afternoon, and grandma came to my mother’s house to do my ideological work in advance. , she brought me delicious food, told me the benefits of going to school, and asked me if I wanted to go to school? "Would you like to go with grandma? Let's go to school, okay?" and so on. Of course I said "yes" and was willing to go. "My brother will definitely cry when I leave tomorrow. What will you do if I don't let you go?" Grandma had already anticipated these problems, and she asked for my opinion. I said, "I will first hide in the wormwood forest in front of the house."
In the countryside at that time, there were many children, and their parents went out to work every day, so how could they take care of the children? Most of the time, the baby watches the baby, and the baby coaxes the baby. I am three years older than my brother, and my brother is inseparable from me. He follows me wherever I go, and he cries when he loses sight of me. We two brothers are really inseparable!
I kept grandma’s advice in mind. The next morning was the day when my brother and mother were separated. I ran to the door and hid in the wormwood forest early. I saw my mother carrying my brother on her back. I burst into tears and walked to the back of the room. My brother climbed on my mother's back and cried heartbreakingly... I heard my brother crying and yelling, "I want a brother, I want a brother..."
Grandma He dragged the little donkey that had just been weaned, and kept crying "Ouch". He looked back at the mother who gave birth to him and raised him, saying goodbye to the familiar grassland that he was so attached to.
As an eight-year-old, I didn’t know what words to use to comfort my mother and brother. I hid in the sand and grass with tears streaming down my face. All I could do was not dare to raise my head and look at my mother and brother again, for fear that my mother and brother would see me and make it difficult for them to leave!
I only spent one night at my grandma’s house. Early the next morning, my grandma sent me to Tongerang, the school where my father had studied, more than ten kilometers away from home. It’s my first teacher Liu Qinxue. He took great care of me and arranged for me to stay. Since I arrived a month late, I remember that I had already finished learning Pinyin and had already begun to learn "sun, moon, water, fire, mountain, stone, field, and earth". In order to make up for my pinyin, Teacher Liu gave me extra lessons. I remember that I only scored 20 points in the first exam. Faced with this score, I burst into tears. In the second semester, my academic performance was among the best, and I became the first "top chair" of the class president.
At that time, my father was working in the city, and there were only grandpa, grandma and me in the countryside. My grandparents are almost 70 years old, and there is really no labor force in the family. In addition, the Cultural Revolution has caused unprecedented looting on the education front. I decided to go home and help my grandparents herd cattle.
My grandma persuaded me to continue studying all day long, and my father also wrote several times asking me to finish junior high school. So that autumn I dramatically returned to Nalinxili Middle School where my mother was, and stayed there for two years. When I graduated from seventh grade, I had to go back to class again, and all grades were not allowed to be upgraded. This time I made up my mind to go home and work in farming. Until now, I don’t even have a “certificate” for graduating from junior high school!
In 1971, my father was transferred from the Yijinhuoluo Banner People’s Armed Forces Department to work in the Dalat Banner People’s Armed Forces Department. In 1973, when my stepmother gave birth to a baby, my grandmother came to Qi to serve her during the confinement period, leaving my grandfather and me at home. Autumn is the busy season. Grandpa and grandson have to herd cattle, harvest crops, and store fodder for the livestock for the winter. They are very busy. One day, my grandfather asked me to go to Daqi to find my grandma and ask her to come back as soon as possible. This was the first time I traveled far in my life. I walked dozens of kilometers to Xinjie and then took the shuttle bus to Qi.
After arriving at his father's house, his father said that grandma Zuo Tian had left for home. In this way, grandma and grandson missed the opportunity to meet. Then my father said to me, don’t go back. Find some odd jobs in Daqi first, and then let me go to Zhangtieyingzi Nursery in Dalate Banner on November 15th to “go to the mountains and go to the countryside”. At that time, I didn’t understand what “going to the mountains and countryside” meant. What kind of hardships had I not experienced in the countryside, and what kind of work had I not done? ! Little did I know that my father had already converted my registered residence from non-agricultural to non-agricultural, and I somehow became an urban "educated youth". I participated in the "unprecedented" "going to the mountains and countryside" movement and received "re-education" from poor and lower-middle peasants.
In 1975, hundreds of "educated youth" from all over the flag began to return to the city. 99% of the people in Daqi were assigned to state-owned enterprises. I was the only one who was lucky enough to be selected as a company by the Organization Department of the flag committee. A national cadre.
My "luck" is entirely because of my grandma. If it weren't for her, I might not be able to go to school. Even if I go to school, I won't be able to go to junior high school. Even if I go to junior high school, I can't change my household registration status. . It was grandma, this woman with small feet who had gone through many vicissitudes of life and suffered many hardships, who once again changed my destiny!
Grandma is a witty, brave and humorous person. I remember during the Cultural Revolution, my neighbor He Wenming was often dragged out and criticized. He Wenming was a "rich farmer". In order to torture him about how many gold ingots were hidden in his home, he was beaten to death by the "rebels" and then poured cold water on him. He was later left with a lifelong disability - a cripple. One day, grandma heard that He Wenming did not want to eat or drink, and wanted to "cut himself off from the people."
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At that time, my grandma couldn’t bear it anymore. With strong indignation and no regard for her personal safety, she picked up a frame from home and took a few steamed buns and came to the scene of the struggle meeting alone. Everyone in the audience was stunned and didn’t know what she was going to do. , Grandma stood next to He Wenming, pointed at He Wenming and sternly scolded: "He Wenming, a rich peasant, listen to me, xxx said that eating is the first important thing, but you refuse to eat, do you want to seclude yourself from the people? You should feed me honestly first, and then confess your guilt honestly. "Grandma said and took out a few wowotou from the box.
Who dared to disobey the highest order at that time? I don't know where grandma learned such a saying, "Eating is the first important thing." Sure enough, this sentence was very effective, and someone immediately came up to untie He Wenming. So the rebels watched He Wenming eating, but there was nothing they could do. Grandma clearly heard someone chattering on the side, but she deliberately shouted. He shouted: "Eat slowly, you're going to choke to death!" If you choke to death, the next time the meeting is held, the masses will have nothing to fight with. ”
In fact, grandma knows how many gold ingots He Wenming has at home, because He Wenming’s younger brother is my uncle and grandma’s son-in-law. When the two brothers separated, they each received three gold ingots. Yuanbao, grandma was worried that He Wenming would expose the family background. Before leaving, grandma walked to He Wenming and scolded him harshly: "You must tell the truth, and you are not allowed to talk or act randomly. "Grandma took advantage of someone not paying attention and winked at He Wenming. The subtext behind it was, "You can't admit it even if you kill me." "
The rebels were aware of my grandma's move, but they couldn't grasp the reason. Later, some people wanted to label my grandma a "royalist" (in fact, they didn't even know what an emperor was. I can’t figure it out), and threatened to criticize my grandma. However, my grandma’s prestige and charisma miraculously frightened these "28" boys and saved the day. No one dared to touch the old lady.
Those ridiculous days later became a joke for my grandma. She often told us this story. He said that she went to the criticism meeting for three purposes. First, she was afraid that He Wenming would really not be able to bear it and "exterminate himself." "To the people"; secondly, I am afraid that He Wenming will really hand over those few gold ingots; thirdly, people always say that our family is not active and good people, so I also want to use this to show off.
Grandma is a helpful and considerate person. Neighbors come to her for any big or small problems or disputes. Grandma always resolves big issues into trivial matters and becomes a strong woman who is known far and wide for her love of reasoning. The family was short of food and cooking, so grandma was generous. In that era of little food and drink, she never let anyone go home empty-handed. It was often three yuan for the Zhang family and five yuan for the Li family; a bowl of noodles for Wang Wu and one for Li Liuyi. Shengmi was helping the poor, and as long as she had it, she would never be stingy.
My grandma cared about her children in every possible way. My four siblings were all raised by my grandma when my parents were in the city. To work, my three younger sisters were sent to my grandmother's house in the countryside as soon as they were weaned. The sisters grew up side by side. For a while, there were two of them at a glance, and they couldn't help but work for the production team. Grandma took out the white donkey that came back with me, put the clothes on the donkey's back, and carried her sister to work in a very special way.
When I was in middle school in Nalinxili, my stepfather often rode a "Hongqi" bicycle around the people's commune. When I saw it, I fell in love so much that I asked my stepfather to ride one, and my stepfather was happy to do so. I agreed, and I got addicted to cycling. By now, "bicycle" couldn't stop lingering in my mind. After I got home from school, I told my grandma that my grandparents gave me a pile of grass at home without saying anything. After selling it, I used my little savings from frugality to collect 100 yuan and gave it to me. I took the money and happily bought a second-hand "Flying Pigeon" from my classmate. It was a sensation at school and in my hometown, and the envious eyes were a hundred times stronger than driving a "BMW" back now. This really made me famous for a while.
Due to my special experience, my grandma's life has been very good. The one who worried about me the most was me. After I had just started my own family, whenever we and I went to visit her, she would always put something in your hand or bag before leaving, for fear that you would be hungry or cold. My grandma's actions always made me embarrassed, even with tears in my eyes. In 1983, for the first time, I was admitted to an adult college. Every time I came back, I always went to my father's house to visit my grandma. As soon as I entered the house, I couldn't sit still. Now, hurry up and light the fire, make charcoal, pluck the onions and garlic, and cook me some of the most precious poached eggs in a hurry...
This is the greatest maternal love in the world!
This kind of affection, this kind of love, this kind of flesh-and-blood affection that is constantly lingering in our souls is the most precious human emotion! This kind of beautiful feeling of family, love and love will be pale and feeble in any language to describe it!
Grandma is a restless person. In 1976, her nearly seventy-year-old grandparents were brought to the city by their father. They should have spent their old age in peace and quiet. However, after working hard all their lives, she could not sit still for a moment. She took care of all the housework. . She also opened a piece of land in the yard to grow vegetables and raise chickens. Her father was afraid that she would be tired and would not let her do it, but she said that rural people were used to doing this and could not sit still. In this way, she decorated a small yard like a small garden, colorful and full of vitality. Not only did the family get all their vegetables, they also went to help the neighbors.
More than a dozen old hens clucked around Grandma's yard.
Grandma knew that she was getting older and was afraid that one day she would be unable to do anything anymore. She worked like a race against time. She took out and washed the bedding and clothes from generations of her family cleanly and folded them neatly. , We still use the things left by the old man, the quilts and mattresses are still there. When I see things and think about people, I often feel sad and full of emotions.
Grandma often told us that we should live a careful life so that we can live a steady life. Don't "have a meal but never move". She is a very good person at home, and she can live happily even in poverty. During that difficult time, my family never had a break and couldn't open the pot. One year, there was a famine and there was no harvest. My grandparents relied on their hard-working hands to hold vines, cut cotton canes, soda scallions (all are several kinds of psoma plants), raise cattle and feed people, which allowed us to survive the difficult period. years. When I was in junior high school, half of my dry food came from grass seeds of cottonwood and alkaline scallion. The bitter taste is hard to swallow until you are so hungry that you go crazy. Yet it is the hard-to-swallow stuff that feeds us.
Grandma is gone. How desolate the home without grandma is! I hope grandma can walk into my dreams, but I can't always see her face clearly in my dreams. Fortunately, before she passed away, I asked a friend of mine to record a video of my grandma. Later, I burned it into a disc. Whenever I miss her, I take it out and watch it again, and grandma’s voice echoes in her memory again. In my ears, grandma’s smile is still so kind...
Grandma, being your grandson is my greatest happiness in this life! If there is an afterlife, you will still be my grandma!
Attached: Teacher Liu Feng’s commentary article in the 2008 summer issue of "Changhe" magazine: "The sunrise on the long river is as red as the fire", the full text is as follows:
"The grace is like the endless flow of water" (Autumn and Winter Issue 2007·Wang Weidong) is an essay about people. The author pours out his true feelings and expresses his real feelings in the first-person tone. It makes people emotional when reading it, and they can't help but scream. The prose, in its layout, is of a flashback structure. The opening chapter explains the reason for writing, and uses four parts in the middle to describe grandma's ordinary and great life: (1) Summarizing that grandma is a great woman; (2) Narrating that grandma worked hard to change the fate of her father and "me" in a difficult environment. And the process of fighting against fate; (3) Writing about grandma’s behavior as a person (helping others, caring about children and grandchildren, being diligent and thrifty in housekeeping); (4) Writing about the video of “I” carving butterflies for grandma when she passed away. At the end of the recollection, the author uses "the greatest happiness" to echo the opening chapter "enviable happiness", and the structure is relatively complete. The organic combination of narration, discussion, and lyricism is the main feature of the writing of this article: clean and smooth narration, lyricism until the point is over, just the right discussion, especially the author's emotional reasoning at key points, which blends lyricism and discussion. Reasonable. The use of folk dialects and slang is concise, clear, vivid, real and friendly, which brings the readers closer. For example, when grandma talks about "culture", she says "native cows and wooden horses" and "knowledge and ethics"; when she writes that grandma is a strong woman, she says "exaggerating and reasoning"; when she writes about grandma competing with "28" boys, she uses "no one moved a single step". "Finger"; use "hurrying horse meteor", "burning fire to make charcoal", "peeling onions and pounding garlic" to write about grandma cooking for "me" who came back from college; and also use "after a meal, nothing can stop" to educate The descendants are diligent and thrifty and manage the household.
Prose pays attention to density and density, and the details are appropriate. Although the author omits his father and writes "I" in detail in the part of "Changing the Family's Destiny", in terms of the full text, there is still room for improvement in the detailed arrangement: Tongerang went to primary school, went to the mountains and countryside, and I went to university. The three natural paragraphs about returning can be omitted; and the section about "I" going home to farm in "Resumption of Classes and Making Revolution" must be deleted, otherwise the reason for returning home must be explained. The three sections where the grandma kneels with her little feet to hoe the ground, exchanges a donkey for "me" in "negotiation", and competes with the "28" boy should be detailed in more detail. Because only by describing the characteristics of working with little feet can we discover the typical character of grandma in a typical environment. As for the two matters of "negotiation" and "competition", it is an ordinary grandma showing extraordinary generosity. These two fragments must not only be described in detail, but also portray grandma through various descriptive techniques, because they reveal grandma's firm belief in caring about "my" life destiny and her chivalrous character traits of insisting on justice. It can be seen that the lack of description loses a weapon to explore the character; on the contrary, it can bring the artistic conception of the prose to a new level.
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