As a contemporary college student, falling in love during school has become an unusual phenomenon. However, as a college student who is still studying, how should we establish a correct view of love? I think we should do the following:
1. Treat love correctly.
Correctly handle the relationship between love, study, career, collectivity, morality and fraternity. Love is a major event in life, but it is not the whole of life. College students should focus on their studies, because learning is their main purpose. Career is higher than love, advocate career first, and it is not appropriate to fall in love too early. But don't think that love is a stumbling block to your career. If handled well, love can also play a catalytic role in your career.
(1) The relationship between love and study. The whole meaning of university life lies in cultivating high-quality talents with healthy body and mind and all-round development. In the face of heavy learning tasks, if you put love above your studies and "don't love your studies and love others" when time and energy are limited, you will spend too much precious energy and beautiful youth on romance, which will not only waste time and delay your studies, but also make it difficult to get true love. In the end, we often kill the goose that lays the golden egg, and draw water with a sieve. In fact, the content of life is very rich, and love is only a part of life, not the whole. Belinsky has long said: "If the whole purpose of our life is only our personal happiness, and our happiness is just a love, then life will become a broken heart and a dark wasteland. In the symphony of life, career is the eternal theme. " History and reality have repeatedly proved that no successful person is addicted to romance. As college students in their prime of life, only by correctly handling the relationship between love and learning, putting learning first, taking learning as the center, and comprehensively improving their comprehensive quality, can the power of love match Huawei's motivation to promote learning. Academic success can sublimate oneself, greatly improve and enhance one's moral character and charm, provide more adequate nutrition for love, and make the flowers of love bloom more beautifully.
(2) The relationship between love and the collective. Even if you are hit by Cupid's arrow, don't confine yourself to the world of two people. If you only care about being in pairs and leaving the collective, you will limit your communication scope, hinder your development and progress, and be not conducive to personal growth and progress and the improvement of social adaptability. A person who loves the collective and cares about others can really give his loved ones deep and solid love. (3) The relationship between love and morality. The emotion of love is not only two of a kind's, but also closely combined with moral responsibility. Only on the basis of noble morality can we get true love. Therefore, the process of love must meet the corresponding moral requirements, and the premise of love is that both sides are equal and respect each other; When choosing a lover, we should pay attention to the moral quality of the other person. In the process of love, we should teach each other, help each other, treat each other sincerely, be pure and single-minded; Love behavior should be implicit and civilized, with self-respect and self-love.
(4) The relationship between love and fraternity. The emotion of love includes not only love for lovers, but also love for parents, comrades, friends, society and the motherland. If a college student doesn't love his parents, classmates, friends, school and society, it is impossible for him to give his true feelings in the process of love. The wider the emotion a person loves, the more devoted his love is, and the nobler his sex is. Only by infiltrating the desire, admiration and pursuit of the opposite sex into the love for the motherland and society can love become noble and stable. Love is not only an emotion, but also an ability, an art and an activity that needs lifelong learning and discovery. Therefore, college students should not only have the emotion of love, but also study hard, cultivate and develop the ability of love. 2. Cultivate the ability to love. Its ability to love includes the following aspects:
(1) The ability to meet love. If a person has love in his heart, he must dare to express it in the right way; If you face the love of others, you should be able to choose to accept or refuse in time. Can bear the psychological trouble of refusing or refusing courtship. (2) the ability to refuse love. You should have the courage to refuse love that you don't want to accept or think is not worth accepting. When you refuse, you should pay attention to two points: first, if you don't want to love, the tone of refusal should be decisive and firm, and there should be no room for hesitation, otherwise it will cause more harm to the other party. Second, we must master the proper way. You should master the way and degree of speaking. Although everyone has the right to refuse love, they should at least respect others.
3. Treat love setbacks correctly.
(1) Face the reality, the pain of lovelorn lies in the word "love". Love is two-way, mutual, based on the love of both sides. Without either side, love will be unbalanced and love will end. At this time, it is unrealistic for the lovelorn party to love the other party again. As a rational college student, we should face up to this reality.
(2) Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Doing so will help you understand the reason why the other party terminated love, help you accept the painful reality of lovelorn, and get out of the shadow of lovelorn as soon as possible.
(3) emotional catharsis. Don't hide or suppress the pain caused by lovelorn, but find an appropriate way to vent it. Commonly used venting methods are: 1) Tears relieving method. Crying when you are sad can calm your mood. Experts believe that tears can expel some toxins produced by the body during stress response. 2) Exercise relaxation method. Intense physical exercise helps to release the energy brought by excitement. 3) divert attention. When you are in a bad mood, you can do something that interests you. 4) Decoration method. When you fall in love without the person you love, give reasonable reasons and facts to explain your frustration, so as to get spiritual comfort. 5) talk. Tell your troubles to trusted teachers, classmates, friends, teachers, etc. You can also keep a diary or write a letter. If you feel that your inner depression is too deep to be resolved, you can also seek psychological counseling from a psychological counselor.
(4) Situation transfer. The reason why it is difficult to get rid of the trouble of love after lovelorn is because all aspects of life are inextricably linked with former lovers, so if you want to get rid of the pain of lovelorn, you must change a brand-new environment and temporarily leave the once familiar environment. Put yourself in a happy environment. For example, making more friends, participating in some group entertainment activities, or looking for someone to go shopping, travel and relax, all of which will help broaden your mood. On the other hand, because there is a sense of emptiness after lovelorn, it is difficult to adapt for the time being, so you can enrich yourself with work or other methods to prevent yourself from thinking in your spare time practice.
(5) sublimation. As soon as possible, we should sublimate lovelorn love into a kind of motivation and devote ourselves to study or work as soon as possible. Be sure not to be devastated by lovelorn love and think that life and life have lost their meaning. You know, love is an important part of life, but it is not the whole of life. We should treat love correctly, put it in a correct position, and handle the relationship between love and study, love and life, and love and marriage. 4. Correct the love motive.
Love is for finding like-minded lifelong partners in the future, not for comfort and excitement, not just for sexual satisfaction. The choice of love object is a complicated process, and factors such as economy, politics, culture and personality cannot be ignored, but the ideal orientation and moral sentiment of * * * are the most fundamental. The quality of love motivation is directly related to the success of love. As a bridge of the new era, college students' love view should be an organic combination of ideal, morality, career and sex. Relationship with learning, love and collectivity, love and morality, love and fraternity.
Love is the eternal theme of real life and literary works. Since ancient times, it has been pursued by human beings. It has infinite charm for college students at a special age, and some even call it "poetry and the sun" in life. However, it should be noted that only when the seeds of love are sown in the right season can they bear happy fruits. It is understandable for college students to fall in love, but it cannot be advocated. Every student must think twice before acting. In my opinion, college is not the best time to fall in love. First, psychological immaturity, can not take responsibility; Second, in the era of competition, time cannot be wasted. Third, without economic income, money cannot be spent. The fourth is a lifelong event, and feelings can't afford it. If you sow the seeds of sadness at will regardless of time, you can only bear sour fruit.
Of course, love is also an inevitable and important topic in every college student's life, which requires putting love in the right position, establishing a correct view of love and treating love correctly. In a word, the university stage is the golden age of studying and the key period of career success, but it is not the best time to solve lifelong events. In the face of emotional impulse and love desire, I think we should be good at grasping the emotional sail with reason, correctly handle the relationship between love and study, establish a correct view of love, and strive to cultivate our love ability. Only in this way can we finally sail our love boat to the other side of success and happiness.