This is an old story from last summer to September. We had a mild argument about the relationship between lotus and love.
"Only those who really appreciate the lotus can truly understand love."
"What do you mean?"
"It is said that great love should love each other's shortcomings, and complete love includes lovelorn."
"That's true, but what does this have to do with rewarding the lotus?"
"People who love lotus not only love the beauty of flowers, the fragrance of leaves and the beauty of branches, but also love the noise in summer and the scarcity in autumn, and even think that even the pool of sludge that feeds it is dirty."
"Flowers withered?
"Love its green fields."
"Where are the leaves?"
"Listen to the sound of rain hitting it!"
"This conclusion is not very romantic."
What do you think ...? "
"It is a sin to feel the loneliness of others."
In fact, neither you nor I are argumentative people, so most of our conclusions are empty and ridiculous, but this time we are awed by your indifferent light responsibility. What can you say when you leave but smile?
I remember it was an afternoon with a light rain. When I woke up after a nap, I suddenly thought of going to the history museum to see my friend's art exhibition. In order to like the coolness, the umbrella in my hand has not been opened, and the cold rain drops down my neck, which will cause a little surprise. Walking lazily on Nanhai Road, I pouted and wanted to whistle. Before the first note became a complete tune, a red taxi passed sideways and splashed mud all over my trouser legs. When I arrived at the National Gallery, I felt in my pocket. You suddenly appeared in front of me and handed me a white handkerchief. I thought to myself, I always like to do something plain and magical. But at that time, it seemed that they didn't say anything to each other, so they just looked along the gallery wall. There is a painting with special conception and color, which is quite bold in management. The whole atmosphere was rough in Van Gogh's place, a large piece of red, shocking, with double hints of protest and calling for help. We watched it for about five minutes, and both of them seemed to want to express their views, but on this occasion, we were generally silent, because as long as either side spoke, there would be disputes. Tolerance not only became a virtue between us, but also became a symbol of the winner who acquiesced in each other.
At this time, the rain outside is getting heavier and heavier, the horses are galloping and the drums are ringing. The whole world is shrouded in waves of fierce wars, but it is surprisingly quiet in the extreme noise. There are not many visitors in the gallery, most of them are dull-looking, rubbing their hands helplessly and circling indoors. The rain finally stopped and we stepped into the balcony facing the botanical garden together.
"Come and see!" You cried absently at the window. I walked over and looked out of the window.
As the first chapter of Genesis in the Old Testament says, "The spirit of God runs on the water, and God says that when there is light, there is light." I was immediately moved and stunned by a natural wonder under the window.
Under the window is a large pool of lotus flowers, most of which have withered or been carved into strong lotus flowers. A pool full of green leaves dancing in the rain, as big as a drum and as small as the palm of your hand. The rain particles came down, and drums and applause rang together. The rhythm is rapid and changeable, and the momentum is quite scary. This kind of scene, Xu Zhimo must shout loudly when he sees it, and Zhu Ziqing may turn pale with fear; By the lotus pond, in the soft moonlight, he couldn't recall the commotion. Then a gust of wind blew, and all the lotus leaves turned over in one direction, just like a group of women suddenly lifted their skirts at the same time. I wonder if Zhu Ziqing will arouse a shy secretly pleased when he sees it.
In our impression, the lotus has always been covered with green leaves, which is graceful in plain English. The reason why it is slim is that it has a slim waist and a beautiful charm. But in the rain, lotus is a group of animals with upturned faces, dedicated and reserved, which is particularly heroic and vigorous, and there is another charm in softness. The rain fell on their faces, and the water droplets began to turn around along the center and gradually condensed into a crystal ball. The more they spread to the edge of the leaves, the bigger the crystal ball becomes. The thin branches seem to be unable to support the heavy burden of water polo, and it is extremely thrilling to shake from side to side from the rotation. Our eyes are getting bigger and bigger, our hearts are beating faster and faster, and our palms holding the window lattice are sweating. Suddenly, what was about to happen finally happened. On one side of the lotus, there was a crash, and the water polo poured down and landed on the whole leaf. Then the lotus branch bounced back and recovered its original straightness and reserve, and we also breathed a sigh of relief. I lit a cigarette, took a deep breath, and then spit it out slowly. A thick smoke just covered the lingering blush on my face.
Perhaps because of excessive tension or gloomy weather, I have been thinking about your sentence "It is a sin to appreciate the loneliness of others" this afternoon until the gallery closed and waved goodbye. We never said anything again.
B
But I really know Dutch on another late autumn afternoon this year.
/kloc-the temperature in October is still like the early summer in the south of the Yangtze River, and there is no wind in the afternoon, which is even more sultry. I happen to want to go for a walk in the botanical garden. This time, I really went to see the lotus. I was prepared, but I was still a little nervous. Ten minutes' journey really makes me sweat. Step into the garden gate, first find Metasequoia glyptostroboides numbered 25, then sit on the stone bench next to you, adjust your breath, and then walk slowly to the lotus pond.
Hey! What about those lotus flowers? How to meet the flower season again, waiting for me is only the surging green leaves in the pool, what a big punch emptiness came at me. The flowers are gone, only a few withered lotus leaves, black and thin, with a malnourished posture, look more and more lonely against the rich lotus leaves. At this moment, I suddenly remembered the poem in Lotus Lake:
The crowd is noisy.
And you are the closest person to me.
The quietest and gentlest flower.
……
I asked Chi Xin.
Throw a stone gently.
Your face
Then the outcry rose red.
In fact, at that time, I really didn't understand why its face turned red, and I didn't remember what it meant to throw that stone. Of course, I don't remember what I said to it. I will never say such nonsense as "you are a gentleman, I appreciate your nobleness" regardless of the wind and rain. People's minds are often difficult to remember, and reluctant to remember has become a permanent burden. Where is it now? I don't know, it's either stuck in the mud or rising in the rosy clouds. Although it's far away, I still insist that it is the only one that has been closest to me, the quietest and gentlest. Friend, isn't this enough to show that I am by no means the kind of person who only likes to appreciate the loneliness of others?
The garden in the afternoon is very quiet, and there are no tourists except me. I found a stone and sat down, staring blankly at the pool full of green lotus flowers. Lotus field is still slim, but the singing has stopped and the grand occasion is gone. Two months ago, it was still bustling and full of people. During the day and night, people were crowded everywhere inside and outside the swimming pool. It's quiet now, leaving me sitting here alone, smoking and throwing stones, watching my reflection in the pool broken and pieced together, and the situation reversed. Now it's the turn of Residual Lotus to realize my loneliness.
Thought of here, I'm a little blush, even a little embarrassed. In fact, loneliness is not a shame. When someone appreciates my loneliness, I will never think that he is guilty. My friend, don't argue with me about this. Ups and downs are just part of the process of life. This year's flowers have been damaged, and next year, they will still appear in front of us one by one and accept people's appreciation and climbing. But it stepped on the mud without scruple, held up the blue sky in one hand, blushed and sang loudly: "I am a blooming lotus." Less than a few days after singing, it quietly retreated to the natural operation of leaves and flowers to accept another arrangement. Wait until the first time.
I threw myself in the dust and stood up, feeling bored and a little nauseous. Is loneliness really a disease? Walking around the lotus pond, I feel much more comfortable. On the second lap, I suddenly found that the red shadow flashed by. Looking around, I still saw the green lotus field, but I didn't see anything. Did you lose it? Is it an illusion caused by ardent expectations? Unwilling, I turned around half a circle and then squatted down to search. Under the cover of overlapping lotus leaves, I finally found a cold and silent red lotus that would thank but would not. I was at a loss in surprise. Isn't that the most intimate, quiet and gentle one I got last summer?
As usual, that afternoon was the most depressing time of the day. At that time, the afternoon was always more dull than silence. Nevertheless, I still feel the noise of the city outside the window. Those are small and noisy sounds. For many years, those voices have always eroded my years like running water, and occasionally touched me and made me tired. At that time, a gust of wind blew, and the trees outside the window quietly left their leaves. I'm surprised that all the branches and leaves are infected with autumn? There is also a lotus pond in the distance, and the lotus standing in the wind withers and shakes. Although the residual makeup has not been removed, it is also scattered. Then, I heard an old thing called melancholy began to infiltrate around, and they flowed everywhere and everywhere.
Go out from the moon gate in the corner of the back yard of the hostel (why should I stay in that hostel? Why are you standing in that strange backyard looking out of the wall? )。 Go through the narrow alleys and approach the suburbs, and you can see the vast pond in front of you. It turns out that those winds are in a hurry. The wind blows for a while, and all faces are declining over and over again. For example, this lotus pond used to have the sound of wind and rain. In the past, the lotus leaves in the field began to lose their softness and fullness, but now they are so tired and helpless when crawling on the water.
I don't know, when did these lotus flowers bloom? Even if there are one or two, she is already a dying woman, and it is beyond her power to stay in the past. Now, all they have to do is hold their heads high and fold their eyebrows, but they dare not look at the mirror-like pool surface, for fear that they will never have the charm and charm of the past. Thinking of this season, this flower was once beautifully dressed in love and rain, and I can't help feeling deeply. "The leaves are dry and rainy, the water surface is clear and round, and the wind and the load are in one fell swoop." At that time, the corners of the eyes and eyebrows were full of amorous feelings! When did that happen? Yesterday was the day before yesterday, and it was gone in a blink of an eye!
However, there are always some unexpected things that will appear inadvertently. At this time, I saw the only flower on the water in the distance. In the silence of the afternoon, in the poetic and thin artistic conception, it is graceful, light and weak, so beautiful, full of spirit and color.
I can't help but be taken aback, followed by two points of joy, three points of pity and five points of emotion, and the rest should be deeply inspired. That flower, the stem is naturally thin, but it is arrogant and without bending. Don't grow without branches and plants, that's all! Flowers are naturally white, milky white, jade white, white, pure white and meticulous. The so-called mud is not stained, clear but not demon. It turns out that many times, flowers are as proud, as fragrant as flowers, as beautiful as life, and as lonely!
Walking along the ridge, the flowers are far away in the middle of the water, so I can't get close. I also know that it can only be seen from a distance and can't be used for fun.
There is a faint fragrance floating over, which makes me feel a sense of purity being washed. This feeling is very good, just like dust, just like forgetting my troubles. But I still know, I know, it was just an accident, and the laws of nature were only confirmed in her later. Maybe tonight or tomorrow. This proud and independent flower will wither like her sisters, and its petals will fall on the water.
Is this the loneliness and sadness I am grateful for? Sadness is not a beautiful emotion. In fact, many people are not as good as flowers. There is always a moment in life when flowers bloom proudly. There is a book that says that people are even inferior to many things, such as chickens and donkeys. Even the donkey, who has been diligent and unknown all his life, has never been humble. He can bark whenever he wants, at least over the boiling voices.
As for death and glory, it is doomed, and life is like this. Every moment, we can hear the sound of nature pushing everything along an iron track with iron laws. Therefore, this lotus will bloom when it is time to bloom, and it is still in full bloom. I'm thinking, it's just that she is so elegant and open that no one appreciates her except me, a disgruntled passerby. Or, it suddenly occurred to me, is it just for me? Why else did her companion drive, but she waited silently, just when I came?
Please open it for me, do you understand? I am happy for my self-love, and I feel that my heart, which has been polished hard for so many years, suddenly softens somewhere in my heart.
As I thought about it, I walked along the ridge by the pond. I know I can't get close to the water after all, just like a man once wrote that in the wind, he smelled some delicious women grow up and grow old, and he looked at them from a distance with his belongings, out of reach. In fact, people can't get close to each other many times in their lives, just hoping that the spirit can cross the barriers of those spaces.
It suddenly occurred to me that for many years, I have always had a dream that a flower will bloom on my road, and I will see Wu Gou at the moment of opening and then leap. But this dream is always disturbed by a story that has been circulating for many years. The protagonist of that story may be a man named Wei Sheng, who made an appointment with his favorite woman to meet under the bridge at dusk. The woman couldn't keep the appointment until dawn the next day, but the flood came early and the tiny life died with the water. For thousands of years, later generations have never understood whether there is such a woman. Did she go to an appointment and die in the water? Or did she stand me up? Maybe it's just a dream to stick to your post and wait for it to come?
Is it a dream that an afternoon lotus blooms alone in a lonely afternoon?
However, people are always like this, and how many descendants pity the afterlife without knowing it, making them pity the afterlife!
An afternoon lotus blooms alone in a lonely afternoon. No one pays attention to the lotus blossom, just as no one pays attention to me. Open when it is time to bloom, and thank when it is time to thank, just like the long hairpin hanging on the wall around my waist has long been rusty and dull. How many profound implications does it have to thank yourself? No, maybe the world is getting more and more lively and prosperous, and flowers are getting more and more lonely! I told myself, don't care about the withered lotus, just pay attention to the beauty that has been opened and opened; Only taste your feelings alone. As for "how many green lotus flowers hate each other, look back at the west wind for a while", Xiao Du, a senior, is not writing lotus flowers, but venting his emotions; As for "people in the garden don't fold Hà Thu, leaving fish to cover the sunset", that's just the poet's wishful thinking. If the Netherlands knew, how could it agree? One person blooms and one person thanks, and never cares about others' comments and listens to others' words. And this afternoon's lotus is mine, but I feel good about myself. If I don't bloom for me, why care? Just as whether students are punctual or not, whether all of us are punctual is our own business and has nothing to do with others. And if tomorrow, yesterday's lotus will wither, no matter whether it is sunny or sunny, how many sunsets will wither; No matter whether it rains or not, the residual lotus leaves behind to listen to the rain. Isn't it just another scenery?
Lotus wheatgrass alone exudes a faint fragrance, lazily scattered in the air, as if suddenly drifting away, leaving, and suddenly coming back, my heart is getting quieter and farther away. It's so quiet, I can clearly hear the lonely words of lotus and the traces of flowers; As far away as a scented skirt, with a wave of his hand, the soul has drifted away from the sky where clouds touch water. Then I'll turn around and leave. I can't tell you where to go. For many years, I stopped wandering, squatted on a wall in the sun, and finally got old and couldn't move. I used to walk up and down the road, living, working and producing without a fixed place, crawling under the cold moonlight on the border ... Later, I also went to work for some time. Every evening, I look up at a window lamp, ring the doorbell and enter a place called home, but I know I am still a passer-by, not a homecoming person.
"My heart is in the plateau, but there is no heart here ..." There is a poem that has been lingering in my mind. This is the Scottish poet Burns. Being old in Cangzhou and having a heart in Tianshan Mountain is a very long and boundless feeling.
On that lonely afternoon, I saw a lotus blooming alone. Although it was very late, it was so warm in the afternoon. In the hurried journey, I stopped for a while. Although it was short, my thoughts were charming and vast at that moment. I have never understood why we can't stay for a long time for some good things in life. Just like me, it won't be long. I always turn around and leave. I'm tired of fame and fortune. After leaving, many things can only be buried deep. Until the cocoon polished by life is worn out by life, I will give birth to a mood and record a paragraph. Later, I heard that there is a kind of person in this world who will understand more deeply what he is away from when he is away. Just like I am sitting at the window at the moment, my eyes seem to have passed through the void of the city, and I am speechless for a while. Only the trees and lampposts standing outside the window have been there for a long time. When I think of that afternoon, the lotus blossom alone filled my heart with Zen, so I thought, who is with Yu Tong when Mr. Lianxi is away?
However, it has been a long time. I don't know. Did I really see that lotus flower that afternoon?