George Gissing
Sometimes I want to travel. It is sunny for half a year, and I want to travel to the British Isles. There are many beautiful and interesting things that I have never seen. For my lovely home, if I don't swim to a corner, I will die unsatisfied. I often wander around all the places I know in my fantasy. In some places, the place names are familiar, but their shapes and landscapes are not printed in my mind, which makes me restless and eager to visit. Rows of county travel guides are displayed on my bookshelf (they always make me want to buy them on the bookstall), which fascinates me; The only thing that bored me was the chapter describing industrial production cities. However, I will never make such a long trip. Old age, living habits have been finalized. I don't like taking trains or staying in hotels. If I leave my library, garden and the scenery outside the window, I will really miss home. Moreover, I have a fear: I am afraid of dying in a foreign land, not in my own home.
Generally speaking, it is best to revisit places that once fascinated us, or places that seem to have attracted us in memory. I said that this seems to have fascinated us, because after a long time, our memories of places we have missed are often only slightly similar to the impressions we got at that time. In retrospect, those pleasures that are actually ordinary, or those that are greatly influenced by inner emotions and external environment, seem particularly happy or profound. On the other hand, if memory can't produce hallucinations and the names of some places are associated with a golden moment in life, it is a reckless idea to regain the feeling of the past in another visit. Because the scenery people see is not the only reason for happiness and tranquility, no matter how lovely this place is, no matter how brilliant the sky is, these external things are not enough to make their hearts happy; Only when a person's mind is excited can he be happy.
This afternoon, when I was studying, my thoughts wandered and I found myself thinking of the hillside in Suffolk. One day in midsummer twenty years ago, after a long walk, I sat there resting and sleepy. A strong desire seized me, and I wanted to start at once and find the place under that tall elm tree. There, I smoked leisurely with my pipe in my mouth, and I could hear the plantagenet pods crackling around me in the midday sun. If I act according to this impulse, what chance do I have to enjoy the happiness of that moment cherished in my memory again? No, no, what I remember is not the hillside, but the moment of life, the moment when the environment and mood are happily together. Can I dream of smoking a pipe on the same hillside and on the same sunny day, and I can taste the fun or get the same comfort at that time? Will the grass under my feet be as soft as then? Will the branches and leaves of the big elm tree be so happily separated from the midday sun shining on it? After the break, will I jump up as before, eager to exert myself again? No, no, what I remember is only a moment in my early life, which was accidentally connected with the scenery in Suffolk. This place no longer exists, except me, forever. Our hearts create the world around us. Even if we stand side by side on the same grass, my eyes will never see what you see, and my heart will never feel the same as yours.
(translated by Zheng)
This article is selected from george gissing's (1857- 1903) masterpiece Essays on the Four Seasons. The original name of this book is "The Personal Manuscript of Henry Lacroft", which is Gissing's later work and was published in the year of his death. Gissing once wrote in his diary: "I am sure that no one lives a miserable life like me." He is very clever. In his early years, he was recognized as high flyers by Owens College, and almost got all the awards and certificates of the college. However, when 19 years old, he was expelled from school for helping a * * * steal money, which ruined his future as an expert and scholar. He has worked hard in the literary garden for more than twenty years. Although he achieved fruitful results, he failed to get rid of poverty all his life, and his unfortunate marriage and severe lung disease eventually led to his early death. Essays on the Four Seasons, in the name of Henry, is actually a lyric prose of Gissing recalling the past. At that time, he and Gabriel Fleuri lived in France. Because he failed to formally divorce his wife Edith Underwood, his marriage with Fleuri was illegal, which determined that they could never return to settle in England. At this time, Ji Xin was terminally ill, full of nostalgia for Britain's scenery, climate and even diet, and his mood was infinitely sad. He can only dispel endless homesickness through memories.
In the first paragraph, the weather in Britain is fine for half a year and the mountains and rivers are excellent. The author is eager to visit every corner of the British Isles, but he can't travel because of his old age, poor health and rigid living habits. The reason here is an excuse, but it is actually an unspeakable difficulty.
The second paragraph is innovative: even if there is an opportunity to search for old traces, it is futile. Because, only when a certain scene or scenery is combined with your mood at a certain moment, you will be excited and will be integrated into your permanent memory. The golden moment in life is gone forever, and everything has changed. Even if you see the scene that once brought you joy again, your feelings will definitely be completely different from those at that time.
The third paragraph describes the hillside in Suffolk, which is the treasure in the author's heart: tall elms, soft turf, flowers and pods cracked in the sun ... The scene 20 years ago, like now, makes people want to start at once and find the feeling at that time. However, the author clearly knows that beautiful moments that only exist in memory can never be found. Then the author pushed it away, playing the role of two people going to a place at the same time, facing the same scenery, the feeling is completely different, because our senses reflect the objective world, but our hearts are creating a new world. Is beauty objective? Is beauty just an attribute of natural objects? This is not true, because "the attributes of natural objects can be felt by people without sensory defects. They are roughly the same as each other, but beauty has different effects on people with different social and historical conditions." (Zhu Guangqian) Here, Ji Xin expressed the deep feelings of a real artist, from which we can realize the truth that "beauty is the unity of subject and object".
The text of this work is not long, but it is ups and downs, full of twists and turns, showing Ji Xin's elegant and pure, elegant and implicit style. Ji Xin wrote poems in his early years. He is proficient in Greek and Roman classical poetry, and his profound knowledge and cultivation make his lyric prose reach the realm of poetry, or they are prose poems. Of course, all this can only be fully appreciated from the original text.