My mother, an out-and-out housewife, looks ordinary and has read some books. She married my father before she was twenty.
Up to now, I can't understand how mom and dad feel about each other. People in those days were often matchmakers, and they decided to live for life. They have never been in love, but they have been in love all their lives.
My mother always said that she was a busy person and didn't even have time to live, die and die. No one knows the hardships and bitterness of this sentence better than I do. Everything is because of my father!
Dad grew up grumpy and paranoid, which is a typical male chauvinism. He often feels depressed. Because of a little thing, my mother will be scolded by him. In front of my father, my mother always looked down carefully, but still dared not say anything, for fear of causing more beatings ... once my mother couldn't stand it, drinking pesticides in the middle of the night. What makes me afraid to ask?
At that time, I was young and often hid in terror. I hate my father, his temper, his lawlessness and his inhumanity to my mother. Every time I hear my mother say behind my back that I won't talk to my father, I am filled with joy and naively expect them to divorce early, because then my mother will not be so painful, but in the end my mother still can't bear to part with my sister. For this family, for the children, she spared no effort to pay silently.
So, in the later years, I was carried by my mother through a long dark mountain road in the middle of the night and bumped back to my grandmother's house; There are countless tossing and turning nights, I saw my mother burying her head in the quilt and sobbing silently. So I hate myself, I hate myself for not growing up quickly, I hate myself for not being a man, I can't protect my mother, I can't stand up for my mother and stop my father's evil deeds!
My mother won't allow me to hate my father. She told me that my father's heart is actually good, but his bad temper determines what he does. His parents died young and didn't study for a few years. The hardships and frustrations of life made him taste the hardships of life prematurely ... I believe my mother's words, because my father will regret it every time afterwards, but he can't control himself as soon as his temper comes up.
At home, dad is a tiger. He is arbitrary. If he is a little unhappy, he will take it out on his mother. She must listen to what he says and do what he tells her. She must find something at once. If he is angry and doesn't eat, she will always persuade him to eat like a child. Otherwise, none of us dare to eat this meal.
Stubborn and stubborn when I grow up, I can't stand such a family environment. I escaped from it and tried to run away from home many times, vowing never to return to this home that made me sad and tearful. I didn't know how worried my mother was at that time. Until that day, I had another quarrel with my father for my mother, and my father told me to get out of this house. My mother pulled me desperately and cried not to let me go. Facing my heartbroken and tearful mother, I almost woke up hysterically. I can't stand up to my father like this. How sad my mother will be if I leave, and how my father will take it out on my mother. I can walk away, but only my mother will suffer. I must apologize to my father for my poor mother's sake. In any case, I can't leave this house!
I know that my father still loves me, but his autocratic thought can never tolerate the children's resistance to him, just like the mother's obedience to him all her life, so should we!
In my father's mind, I always thought that I was my mother's sky, and marrying him was my mother's blessing. Without my father, my mother will live a hard life for farming like other rural women.
In the face of such a father, I will be even more disgusted. It is clearly the fallacy that he is unreasonable, but he is so overbearing and unreasonable!
Mom is not easy. How can he understand? Has he ever worked hard at home and outside? For decades, my mother has been like a spinning top, supporting this family with her thin shoulders. How can I live without my mother outside my home? It has been a habit for many years. Whether it is a father or a sister, the first thing to do when entering the house is to find a mother. The first sentence is "Mom". When mom was away, the whole family was at a loss. Father doesn't know where to change clothes every day, and the lights are on and off. But even so, he still won't admit his dependence on his mother. With her warmth, he felt at ease, but he disagreed!
In other words, as long as his mother is by his side, he will never understand how important his mother is to him!
For many years, my mother worked hard to serve my father, but my father never knew how to pity my mother. My mother has coronary heart disease, and she often feels chest tightness and can't breathe. But in such a family environment, why doesn't she get angry? She knew that she was ill, and even if she was ill, she quietly found some medicine for herself, for fear that her father would blame her for being angry.
"After all these years, I still don't know what your father's temper is, and I'm used to it," my mother always said calmly.
My heart ached like a wrench. This is my mother. My mother has suffered all her life, but she still doesn't think about herself bit by bit!
Today's mother has become haggard and aging, and my retired father has changed his temper. I have grown up, married, and gradually stopped hating, and learned to be patient and tolerant. I know there are still many responsibilities waiting for me in my life. For this family, for my mother, I can only silently love you with my kindness and filial piety for 1000 times and 10000 times, and repay you, my dear mother!
It was also in such a spring afternoon that I quietly shed tears when I remembered my mother's difficulties for many years.