Fruits naturally fall from the trees when they are ripe.
In spiritual life, when the time comes, the heart begins to ripen and sweeten like fruit. Our practice will change from the green and difficult period of growth (searching, developing, and improving ourselves) to dwelling in the mystery, from trusting in external forms to dwelling in the heart.
When a young woman first started practicing spiritual practice, she struggled extremely because of family problems and her parents’ belief in the Christian Fundamentalist Church. She wrote:
“When I When I was a Buddhist, my parents resented me; but when I became an awakened person like the Buddha, they loved me deeply. ”
If you want to mature spiritually, you must let go of your rigid and idealistic way of life. , finding resilience and joy in life. With spiritual maturity comes a softness of heart that naturally manifests ease and compassion. Taoist Lao Tzu praised this spirit and wrote:
A person who is centered on Tao can go wherever he wants without danger. Even in the midst of great pain, he recognized the harmony of the universe because he found peace in his heart.
When Eastern spirituality became popular in the United States in the 1960s and 1970s, its practice methods were initially idealized and romanticized. People tried to use spirituality to "reach climax" and experience extraordinary consciousness. state. Many people believe that there is a perfect guru and wonderful teachings that if they follow them, they can achieve complete enlightenment and change the world.
This kind of imitation and self-absorption is called "spiritual materialization" by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. On the surface, it accepts the rituals, clothing and philosophy of spiritual inheritance, but in fact uses it to escape from daily life. Just want to become a more spiritual life.
After a few years, most people begin to discover that a superb state does not last forever, and spirituality is not about leaving daily life to find a noble, light-filled life. We discover that the transformation of consciousness requires far more practice and training than we imagined; we begin to see that the spiritual path demands more than it initially offers.
After getting rid of the romantic vision of spiritual practice, everyone began to wake up and understand that spirituality requires us to use honesty and courage to see the real life situation, including our family of origin and our position in the surrounding society.
Through growing wisdom and experiences of disillusionment, individually and in groups, we begin to abandon idealized views of spiritual life and group as a way to escape the world or save ourselves.
For many, this transformation becomes the basis for deeper integration and wiser spiritual work. Spiritual work includes right relationships, right livelihood, right words, and various ethical aspects of spiritual life.
This kind of work requires no more separation and an understanding that everything that is pushed into the shadows or avoided must still eventually be integrated into our spiritual life, and nothing is left behind.
Spirituality lies in who we are, not in the ideals we pursue; spirituality is no longer about going to distant India, Tibet or Machu Picchu in Peru, but returning home.
This spirituality is filled with joy and integration, both ordinary and awakened. This spirituality allows us to rest in the wonder of life, this mature spirituality allows the divine light to illuminate and penetrate us.
Below we discuss the characteristics of spiritual maturity.
Non-idealism (non-idealism)
The mature mind does not have perfectionism. It rests in the compassion of being, not in the model of perfection. A non-idealistic spirituality does not seek a perfect world, nor does it try to perfect itself, its body, or its personality, nor does it maintain romantic ideas about a teacher or enlightenment based on some special external image of extreme purity. Spiritual life is therefore not about seeking gain or achievement, but about loving and being free.
Avanti-Nasruddin’s story illustrates the frustration of the pursuit of perfection. One day, Afanti met an old friend in the market who was about to get married. The friend asked Afanti if he had ever considered getting married.
Afanti replied that she wanted to get married a few years ago, so she started looking for the perfect woman. He first went to Damascus and found a very elegant and beautiful woman, but found that she lacked spirituality.
Next, he went further to Isfahan and met a very spiritual, beautiful woman who could live freely in the world. Unfortunately, they could not communicate well. "Finally, I found her in Cairo," he said. "She is a perfect woman, full of spirituality, elegance, beauty, very comfortable, perfect in every way."
A friend asked: "Then Are you married to her?" "No," Avanti replied, "Unfortunately, she wants the perfect man."
The foundation of mature spirituality is not the pursuit of perfection. Get a certain sense of imaginary purity based solely on the ability to let go, to love, to open your heart to everything.
When there is no ideal of perfection, the heart can transform the suffering and imperfection we encounter into compassion.
In this non-idealistic practice, even the behaviors of ignorance and fear can be illuminated and penetrated by the divine, leading us to wonder at the mystery in everything without judgment or blame, because we are not trying Not to make the world perfect, but to make our love for everything in the world perfect.
Thomas Merton viewed spirituality in this way when he said:
It was as if I suddenly saw the hidden beauty of their hearts, a depth I saw beyond the reach of sin or desire. What you achieve is like seeing everyone in the eyes of God.
If they could see themselves as they are, if we could see each other that way, there would be no more wars, no more hatred, no more cruelty... I think the big question then is We will prostrate ourselves on the ground and worship each other.
Kindness
The second quality of spiritual maturity is kindness, which is based on self-acceptance. Kindness cannot develop out of guilt, blame, or shame for the ignorant actions we have committed or the fears that remain in us. Understand that openness requires the warm sunshine of lovingkindness. It’s too easy for us to turn spirituality and religion into what Alan Watts calls “terrible obligations.”
Poet Mary Oliver wrote:
You don’t have to be good,
You don’t have to kneel down
Crossing a hundred miles of desert to express repentance.
You just have to let this soft animal
love what it loves.
Deep self-acceptance breeds compassionate understanding, as when I asked a Zen master if he ever gets angry, he replied: "Of course I get angry, but after a few minutes, I tell myself: 'Angry' What's the use! ' Then let go of your anger."
This self-acceptance makes up more than half of spiritual practice. Mature spirituality reflects our inner capacity for gratitude and forgiveness, as Zen poet Edward Espe Brown wrote in The Tassajara Recipe Book :
At any moment, prepare this meal
We may release 30,000 feet of gas
Get into the air immediately
Let the poison fall onto leaves,
ferns and animal fur.
Everything will end before our eyes.
We still continue to cook,
putting all our cherished
dreams on the table, nourishing
and protecting those close and dear to us people.
In this act of cooking, I say goodbye
I have always insisted that you were the only one to blame.
At this last moment, I opened my eyes
and stared at you, with all the feelings that I had suppressed for a long time
Tenderness and forgiveness.
If there is no future
What else do we have
to be contentious about.
Patience
The third quality of spiritual maturity is patience. Patience allows us to be in perfect harmony with the Dharma, the "Tao", as Zhuangzi said:
The real people in ancient times,
did not fight against the Tao with their hearts, < /p>
Nor does he try to help Tao with his own ideas
.
(Original text: He who does not use his heart to help the Tao and does not use his people to help Heaven is called a true person.)
Zorba the Greek talked about the lessons he learned through patience:
p>
One morning I saw a cocoon on the bark of a tree, with a butterfly making a hole in it and getting ready to come out. I waited for a while, feeling impatient after waiting for a long time, so I bent the cocoon and blew air into it to warm it.
I warmed it up as quickly as possible, and then a miracle appeared before my eyes. The cocoon opened and the butterfly slowly crawled out. I will never forget my horror when I saw its wings folded back and crumpled because its time had not yet come. It struggled desperately and died in my hands within a few seconds.
The process of mature spiritual awakening takes many seasons and cycles and requires our deepest commitment, sitting in our hearts and being open to every part of our lives.
True patience is not about gain, nor is it about any achievement. Patience opens us up to things beyond time, as Einstein explained when describing the nature of time: “If you sit with a beautiful girl for two hours, only one minute seems to have passed; but if you sit on the stove for Minutes are like two hours. "
When the Buddha talked about the time it takes to practice for one hundred thousand kalpas, he did not mean that it would take an infinite amount of time to awaken. Awakening transcends time. Awakening is not about weeks, years, or lifetimes, but about opening yourself up now, with love and patience, into the mystery.
Zen Master Suzuki said: "The problem with the word patience is that it means that we are waiting for something to get better, that we are waiting for something to appear. So this property should be described more accurately, and it should be With 'firmness', the ability to hold on to truth and discover enlightenment in every moment."
In its deepest form, patience is the understanding that we are looking for who we are, and what we are. It's always been here. The great Indian master Maharshi said to his students as they wept over the imminent death of his body: "Where else can you go to me?"
Maturity in spiritual life allows us to just abide here, Rest in the truth that has always been and always will be.
Live in the Now
The fourth quality of spiritual maturity is living in the present. Spiritual awakening happens in the here and now of life.
The Zen tradition holds: “After ecstasy, there is laundry.” Spiritual maturity is not only revealed in transcendence, but also inwardly, wanting the divine to illuminate and penetrate our every movement .
Extraordinary states of consciousness, extraordinary spiritual experiences, and great openings of consciousness are all important, but their importance is not in the experiences themselves, but in the fact that these experiences prompt us to turn our attention to ourselves as human beings and grow in wisdom in our human bodies. , the ability to deepen compassion.
As Ajahn Chah said: "Even extraordinary experiences, unless they can be connected to the here and now, are useless. They are just something that needs to be let go."
p>
If the spiritual state can illuminate insights and open up the body and mind, it is an important experience, but it is still only a passage back to the eternal present. As Kabir said, no matter what we seek, "what is found is Found now."
In the present moment, spiritual maturity allows us to "walk the talk," so that our actions, words, and touches seem to reflect our deepest knowledge. We become more energetic and more present. We discover that our breath, our bodies, and our human limitations are all part of the divine.
This maturity listens to our bodies and loves every part of them, including its joys and sorrows; it listens to the heart and loves its ability to feel. Living in the present moment in this way is the true source of compassion and understanding.
The Buddha said: "Only in our own body, with its mind, can we see bondage and suffering; and only here can we find true liberation."
< p> An integrated and realized sense of the sacredThe fifth quality of spiritual maturity is an integrated and realized sense of the sacred.
"Integration" means not creating separate blocks in life, not dividing the sacred and the unholy; "realization" means paying attention to spirituality in our words and actions, otherwise, our spirituality will not be of any real value.
An integrated and realized spiritual practice encompasses our work, love, family and creativity. The personal and the universal are interconnected, and the universal truths of spiritual life can only be realized in each specific personal context.
The way we live is our spiritual life, and as one wise student said: "If you really want to understand a Zen master, talk to his wife. ”
A sense of spiritual integration allows us to understand that if we want to bring light and compassion into the world, we must start with our own lives. True spirituality lies in our own lives, not in any particular experience or philosophy we subscribe to.
This personally oriented approach values ??both the individual and universal aspects of life, respects life as an impermanent dance between life and death, and affirms our unique bodies, families, and societies, as well as Personal history, including all the joys and sorrows we have. From this perspective, personal awakening is a matter of great importance to all life.
There are nine hundred species of wasps in the Amazon jungle, each of which spreads the pollen of a special type of fig tree that is the main food source for all the small mammals in the rainforest, which in turn are the main source of food for all the small mammals in the Americas. Food for leopards, monkeys, wild boars and other animals.
Each wasp species supports the survival of other animals in a food chain. Likewise, every individual in the world has a unique contribution. The realization of spiritual life cannot be achieved through imitation, but must be achieved through one's special talents and abilities as a man or woman in the world, which is truly priceless.
When we can affirm our own unique destiny, we can make our own lives a new form of manifestation of the Buddha.
Questioning
The sixth quality of spiritual maturity is questioning.
We are not meant to adopt a philosophy or blindly follow a great teacher or a charming path, but to realize that we must see for ourselves, this quality of questioning that the Buddha called For "Dhamma-vicaya" (Dhamma-vicaya), that is, one's own study of truth. It is a willingness to discover the truth, without imitation or following the wisdom of others.
Someone once asked Picasso to paint things according to their original appearance, that is, to paint objective things. Picasso said that he could not understand it. The man took out a photo of his wife from his wallet and said: "Look, she It’s exactly what it looks like in the photo.” Picasso looked at the photo and said, “She’s so small and flat, isn’t she?” Like Picasso, we have to see things with our own eyes.
In mature spirituality one can see much of a sense of autonomy rather than reaction to authority, but it must be a heartfelt realization that, like the Buddha, we can awaken.
There is a deeply democratic spirit in mature spirituality in which all people can find holiness and liberation for themselves.
This kind of questioning combines an open mind, the Zen "not knowing" mind, and a "wisdom of discrimination" that can distinguish between helpful and unhelpful things, and always open eyes willing to learn. . With an open attitude, we can always learn.
Questioning allows us to use the great wisdom of the tradition, learn from teachers, and become part of a group, while still keeping in touch with ourselves. We can see and tell the truth in the integration and awakening of ourselves with great respect.
This kind of questioning may not make us more certain about ourselves, but it can make us more honest with ourselves, and spiritual practice can be full of interest and vitality in this spirit.
Resilience
The seventh quality of spiritual maturity is resilience. Spiritual maturity enables us to swing in the wind like bamboo, responding to the world with our hearts and understanding, respecting the ever-changing environment around us.
Spiritually mature people have learned the great art of staying in the present moment and letting go. Resilience allows them to understand that there is not just one way to practice, nor just one beautiful spiritual lineage, but there are many. ;
Understand that spiritual life is not about adopting a specific philosophy, a whole set of beliefs or teachings, and that it cannot be used against someone or something. It is the freedom of the mind to understand that all spiritual tools are just rafts used to cross the river to freedom.
In one of his earliest dialogues, the Buddha warned us not to think of the bamboo raft as the other side, and opposed the adoption of any rigid ideas or opinions. He went on to say: "To a wise man who does not adopt any opinions, "How can there be anything in this world that causes conflict?"
The Buddha advised everyone to replace arrogance with freedom and reminded his followers that those who adhere to certain philosophies and views are just going around disturbing others.
The flexibility of the heart can inject humor into spiritual practice, allowing us to see thousands of beneficial ways to awaken. Sometimes formal and systematic methods are suitable, and sometimes unexpected, unusual and surprising methods are suitable. A way to surprise people.
Jones, who wanted to coach high school basketball, learned that lesson when he took over the team at the San Francisco Disability Center. He wanted the team to win, but found on the first day that only four players showed up for training, one of whom was in a wheelchair. The ice was broken until a six-foot-tall black woman came out of the men's room and asked to join the team.
The coach spent forty-five minutes just asking five players to line up on the court and face the same direction, so he decided to discard the original teaching plan. When he lost his plans, the basketball team began to grow. They practice often, have cheerleaders, and have hot dogs to eat, but there are often seven or 12 people playing in teams instead of five.
They sometimes stop during games to play music and invite everyone to dance. In the end, they became the only team in the history of basketball to score more than a million points because the scorer loved to press the score button on the scoreboard just to hear the score bell.
Easy come, easy go, and there is great freedom in this flexibility. My teacher Ajahn Chah spoke of himself as being like a peaceful tree that bears fruit and gives birds space to build nests and sway in the wind. The path to resilience is joy and peace.
Embrace Opposites
The eighth quality of spiritual maturity is embracing opposites—the ability to allow the heart to accommodate the contradictions of life.
As children, we view our parents as 100% good people when they provide us with what we need, and as 100% good people when they fail to satisfy our desires or do what we expect. One hundred percent bad guy.
Children's development of consciousness will eventually lead to a clear understanding of their parents, and an understanding that the same person can be both good and bad at the same time: loving and angry, generous and fearful.
A similar development occurs in spiritual maturity. We no longer look for the perfect parent, the perfect wise teacher or guru, nor do we try to find something totally good against something totally bad. , and no longer differentiate between victim and abuser. We begin to understand that each side contains its opposite.
A young woman was a victim of abuse in her family of origin. She spent a lot of time in her early spiritual practice trying to heal this pain, and during the healing process she also became a consultant for other victims of abuse. The teacher finally began to treat abusers and perpetrators.
In her first year of dealing with groups of perpetrators (almost all men), she had a clear idea of ??what was right, what was wrong, what was unacceptable, and who committed the crime.
However, when she listened deeply to the perpetrators' stories, she discovered that almost all of them had been abused in childhood.
She faced a group of men who appeared to be in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, but at heart they were all abused children. She was shocked to find that many of the people had been abused. After learning more about their stories, she discovered that their mothers had also been abused by their fathers or uncles in the family. The sad pattern of abuse can be traced back from generation to generation.
What should she do? Who could she blame? All she could do was say, "No, this behavior cannot continue," and then embrace them with compassion in her heart, because the abuser and the abused are one and the same.
As a person matures in spiritual life, he becomes more comfortable with contradictions and appreciates the ambiguities of life, including its many layers and inner conflicts. As a result, we can understand the irony and metaphors in life, develop a sense of humor, the ability to embrace the whole, and face the beauty and ugliness in it with a magnanimous heart.
This contradiction in life is actually always before our eyes. In a famous story of a Zen master, his students asked him, "Master, please tell us what enlightenment is?" As they walked through a pine forest, the Zen master pointed to a tree and said, "See how tall this tree is? ?" The student replied: "Yes." The master pointed to another tree and said, "See how short that tree is?" The student replied: "This is enlightenment."
When we embrace the opposites in life, we accommodate our own life and death, our own joy and pain, and see the two sides as inseparable. We will respect both emptiness and the divine in its manifest form, understanding what the Sufis say: "Pray to Allah, but tie your camel."
When spiritual practice matures, we can Learn to accept the opposites in practice - we need teachers and we must be responsible for our own practice; there are various transcendent states of consciousness, and we must realize them in a personal way;
There is the power of karmic constraints , but also the capacity for total human freedom—to be part of the dance of the soul, to embrace it with lightness and humor, to make complete peace with it.
Wise and Compassionate Relationships
The next aspect of mature spiritual life is relationships. We are always related to something. To find a wise and compassionate relationship with all things is to find the ability to respect them completely.
We may have little control over what happens in our lives, but we can choose how we relate to our experiences. Mature spirituality is accepting life in relationship. Being willing to establish a relationship with everything in life can produce a spiritual spirit: treating everything as sacred.
Our family life, our sexuality, our society, the ecology of the earth, politics, money, our relationship with every being and action, all express the Tao. Thich Nhat Hanh likes to remind us how to wash cups and bowls. He asked: "When we wash each cup and bowl, can we be like bathing the newborn Buddha?"
Every action has meaning, and everything has meaning. encounters are related to the entire spiritual life. Likewise, our attentiveness and compassion when we encounter difficulties and problems are the yardstick of spiritual practice.
Mature spirituality values ??society and connection between people, and nothing can be excluded from spiritual life.
Ordinariness
The final quality of spiritual maturity is ordinaryness, known in some traditions as "post-enlightenment practice," which occurs after the special spiritual state and side effects have subsided. ordinary. Nisargadatta was the master of Advaita. When someone asked him how his consciousness was different from the seekers around him, he smiled and replied that he no longer identified with the seekers.
Yes, he would sit and wait for breakfast and lunch, hungry and perhaps as impatient as anyone else, but underneath there was an ocean of peace and understanding. He will not fall into or identify with any changing situations in life, so unlike the people around him, he is calm no matter what happens.
Ordinaryness is simply existing at this moment and letting the mystery of life reveal itself. When Thoreau warned us to "be careful of any activity that requires the purchase of new clothes to join in," he was reminding us to open ourselves to daily surprises through simplicity.
Ordinariness is about being interested in the here and now, if we can respect the capacity of consciousness to create infinite forms. It is the mundane mystery of breathing or walking, the tree in the street or the mystery of loving someone. It’s not about reaching some mystical state or gaining extraordinary powers, or looking for something special, it’s about letting go and listening.
Walt Whitman prayed for this ordinaryness in his poem, saying:
I believe that a blade of grass does as much as
the work of the stars ...
Flowing blackberries can also decorate
The palace of the sky...
A single mouse is enough to be a miracle that alarms many pagans.
The ordinaryness of spiritual life comes from a heart that learns to trust and from gratitude for the grace of life. When we are just ourselves, without pretense or fakeness, we can rest in the universe. In this kind of ordinaryness, there is no distinction between superior and inferior, no need to improve anything, no need to desire anything, just open to the joy and suffering of the world in love and understanding.
This kind of ordinary love and understanding can bring peace of mind to every situation. Like a river in a river, it can find its way among the stones, or it can wear away the stones bit by bit and gradually flow downwards back to the ocean. This ordinariness gives us rest.
There is great power in the ordinary. This is the great power of spiritual maturity. This power heals ourselves as naturally as our clarity and compassion extend to the world around us. Yoshikan, the beloved Japanese Zen poet, imbued his life with this spirit of the ordinary and used it to transform those he came into contact with.
It is said that Liangkuan never lectured or reprimanded anyone. Once his brother invited him to come to his home to talk to his unruly son. Liang Kuan came but didn't say anything to the boy. He stayed overnight and was ready to leave the next morning.
When the wayward nephew tied Liang Kuan's straw sandals, he felt a drop of warm water dripping down. He looked up and saw Liang Kuan's eyes full of tears. After Liang Kuan left, his nephew's behavior improved a lot.
When we mature spiritually, our ability to open up, forgive, and let go will become deeper and deeper. We will naturally resolve our conflicts, ease our struggles, solve our difficulties, and have the ability to return to joy and ease. of tranquility.
The ancient wisdom of the Tao Te Ching tells us:
I have only three things to teach you:
Innocence, patience, and compassion.
These three things are your most important assets.
By remaining pure in your actions and thoughts,
you can return to the origin of life.
Be patient with friends and enemies,
and be consistent with the way of all things.
Be kind to yourself,
and you will be able to reconcile all life in the world.
So the wise dwell in the Tao
and set an example for all life.
Because he doesn’t show off,
everyone can see his light.
Since he has nothing to prove,
everyone can trust his word.
Since he does not know who he is,
everyone knows themselves in him.
Since he has no purpose in mind,
everything he does will be successful.
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