Text/Ma Zikai
Some netizens asked in the comment area of ??my article about the behavior of cowards, how to change a cowardly character? He suggested that I write an article about it, which I thought was appropriate.
As the saying goes, if you send Buddha to the West, you should help others to the end.
How do those people with weak characters develop weak characters?
I think the reasons are very complicated, including rough family education, over-indulgence of children by the family, and immature personal character caused by the environment in which they were raised.
In summary, an adult's cowardice is usually due to poor overall strength, because he does not know how to act tough, and he is worried that being tough may bring about some unknown and self-difficulties. Consequences of Control.
If you want to change from cowardly to strong, if you want to change from weak to strong, there must be various conditions.
This is not something that happens overnight, so cowards need to give themselves a timetable to adjust themselves.
We all know that if we want to solve a problem, we must first analyze the problem.
If you don’t know how your cowardice is caused, it will not be easy to achieve a smooth transformation.
You need to think carefully about what causes your cowardice.
For me, when I was in school, I was considered a coward in the eyes of others. Why did it change later? Because I don't want to go on like this anymore. I have accumulated a lot of unhappiness in my heart for a long time, and I think that when I go to school, I need to think about the graduation certificate and the college entrance examination. Otherwise, none of the guys who bullied me would be lenient.
So, when I was in school, especially in high school, I was weak or cowardly. I thought that on the one hand, it came from the simplicity and roughness of my family education, and on the other hand, it came from worries about my studies.
From a general perspective, the reason why a person has a cowardly character is usually determined by genetic factors, environmental factors and personal growth factors.
It is certainly not easy to change genetic factors. It may require systematic physical and psychological adjustments.
Environmental factors are often easy to change. A person may appear cowardly in one environment, but after changing to a suitable environment, his mentality will change accordingly, and his cowardly character will also change.
In terms of growth factors, some people are weak when they are young, but they will become very strong and tough when they grow up.
I also noticed——
The reason why some people feel cowardly is because of their inferiority complex, because they think they know too little and their cognitive level is not enough. Caused by the high level;
The reason why some people feel cowardly is because they are timid and do not dare to face many things and are unwilling to try;
There are also some The reason why people feel cowardly is because they lack independent opinions, always obey others, and always go along with other people's ideas and intentions;
Some people even appear cowardly because they care too much about others. I care too much about other people's attitudes, so I don't dare to reject others casually.
A cowardly person can only improve it in a targeted manner by finding out the reasons and manifestations of his cowardice.
This improvement process is destined to be a long-term and continuous process. So don’t expect to change it immediately after reading other people’s articles. After all, a change in a person's personality is equivalent to a reshaping of oneself, which is of course a gradual process.
Good articles often just point out ways, approaches and steps to change yourself.
(1) The key to cowardice caused by lack of confidence lies in how to strengthen self-confidence
Many people appear inferior, withdrawn, and too introverted because of their lack of confidence; of course, they also appear very introverted. cowardly.
If you want to change this cowardice, you must build strong self-confidence.
What does it take for a person to change from never confident to more confident? In my opinion, it depends on the continuous growth of self-strength.
How is a person’s strength reflected? In fact, it is obtained through the improvement of one's core skills and through professional performance in certain aspects.
For example, the previous work level was average, but due to the need to improve self-confidence and the need to seek changes, after a period of hard work, the work level has been greatly improved. At this time, the work performance of this cowardly person It seems very good. So everyone became much more polite and respected him. At this time, through self-change and recognition from others, self-confidence will be established.
There are also some people who not only do average work, but also do average things outside of work. However, assuming that he starts from his own interests, even in some aspects outside of work, such as photography, playing cards, or a certain sport, as long as he becomes more professional and performs better, then it is okay. You can become confident because of this.
As long as you are confident, your performance will be completely different.
There are also some people who I thought were weak, but because they made money through hard work, they suddenly became confident. People's mental outlook takes on a new look.
Therefore, improving one’s ability and ability to make money can also make a person appear more confident.
Once a person builds up good self-confidence, he will gradually become stronger. If you have full self-confidence, then your cowardice will naturally become a thing of the past.
(2) The key to cowardice caused by lack of courage and commitment is to learn to take responsibility
Some people’s cowardice is caused by lack of courage, lack of courage, and lack of commitment.
For these people, if they want to seek self-change, they must start by training courage and training responsibility.
How to train your courage? You can start by changing your own thinking habits.
For example, I always do all kinds of things that I am accustomed to, rarely go to strange places, rarely talk to strangers, rarely go to strange environments, rarely perform on stage, etc.
As long as such people establish new good habits, they may change their cowardly attitude and performance.
I used to be afraid of speaking or training on stage in front of hundreds of people. But later, because I experienced some life and death tests, I said to myself, now that I am not even afraid of death, why should I be afraid of coming to power?
Despite saying this, I still felt a little nervous, so I drank some wine before going on stage, or silently recited a self-motivating poem in my heart. In this way, if it was successful the first time, it would be successful the second time. An introverted person, a person who gives people a sense of cowardice, immediately became brave because he overcame his inner cowardice and dared to talk in public.
The same is true when it comes to taking responsibility. The reason why some cowardly people are unwilling to take responsibility is simply because they are worried that some consequences will be detrimental to them.
But only after you really take responsibility will you find that your abilities will gradually improve as a result.
Perhaps things that seemed difficult and troublesome in the past, once you are willing to take responsibility and face challenges, not only will you become brave, but your abilities will also reach a new level.
So, at this time, cowardly people often need to give themselves positive psychological hints.
(3) The key to cowardice caused by lack of assertiveness and following the crowd is to change the attitude.
Some people’s cowardice is manifested in following the crowd, submissiveness, and lack of assertiveness. superior.
For these people, to overcome this kind of cowardice, they must dare to express their own opinions and dare to insist on their own opinions, even if the opinions they insist on are immature.
I remember that there was a Chinese student in an American class, and one of his views was deliberately targeted by the teacher. The teacher and classmates repeatedly said that his view was wrong, untenable, and problematic. This went on for more than a dozen rounds, but the international student always firmly believed that he was right. At the end, the teachers and classmates all applauded and cheered for him! ——Because they are just testing the international student’s determination to stick to his own point of view, and they have long known that the Chinese international student’s point of view is correct.
With the behavior of this international student, who would think that he is cowardly?
On the contrary, as early as 1951, Franklin was the first in the world to discover the helical structure of DNA. After being denied, challenged and criticized by so-called authorities, he Lack of awareness to follow through, actually admitting that his findings were wrong. As a result, other scientists re-discovered this structure two years later and won the Nobel Prize for it.
So, learn to stick to your own opinions, especially the correct ones, and you will naturally become more independent. And what will the opinion bring? It means that we will no longer be submissive, no longer follow the crowd, and no longer follow the trend.
So, if you have different opinions, different views, different viewpoints, and different ideas, of course you can speak out loud.
When you gradually change your attitude and approach, you will become a very insightful person, a broad-minded person, a person with independent thinking, and a person with independent thinking. Become a person with strong thinking ability and become a unique person. Speaking of such a person, who would think that he is a coward?
(4) Cowardice caused by timidity can be improved by tempering courage.
Some people’s cowardice manifests as timidity.
For this kind of people, if they want to change their timid and fearful image, they can gradually alleviate and improve it by practicing eloquence, walking at night, doing extreme sports, etc.
Why do these people need to practice eloquence? Because a weak person expresses himself less often, even if he is very fluent when talking to himself, he will always appear hesitant and hesitant to speak in front of everyone. This image is often considered cowardly.
Therefore, if you want to improve your self-image, you must develop your extraordinary eloquence. Whether through reading, through simulation exercises, or through giving a speech on stage, one can develop one's eloquence. Once you develop good eloquence, of course you will become bold.
Why can these timid people do some extreme sports to change themselves? Because extreme sports test a person's courage, courage and self-adjustment ability under extreme conditions.
Once you experience the challenges of extreme sports, a person will certainly become bolder. He would think in his heart, that's all. It seems that his previous worries were unnecessary! Not only are the worries here unnecessary, but my previous timidity will also appear unnecessary.
So, whether you do some extreme sports or do some other sports or activities that hone your courage, they can all exercise your courage and make a person bold and careful.
When a person becomes bold, the number of things he should do and can do increases a lot, and his boundaries of courage will be greatly broadened, and of course he will no longer appear timid.
(5) Cowardice and self-consciousness caused by too little knowledge need to be overcome by improving cognition.
Some people’s cowardice stems from their low level of self-awareness.
To put it simply, it means you feel ashamed because you don’t understand, and you look cowardly because you don’t understand, don’t know, don’t know, or don’t understand. They often make people confused because what they say is unclear, vague, and incomprehensible, and they feel that their brains are not working well. In fact, that's not the case, it's just that these people's cognitive level is not enough.
This level of cognition is like a person who suddenly arrives from a mountain village in a big city and suddenly feels that he is incompatible with the environment. At this time, if coupled with the rural atmosphere of the conversation, the simplicity of the content of the speech, or the different communication logic with the urban crowd, of course, you will be deeply ostracized, even ostracized and denied.
Some people appear cowardly because they are excluded, denied, and excluded.
What should we do at this time? Of course you have to do as the Romans do, and of course you have to quickly improve your cognitive level. Not to mention how high your cognitive level is, at least you have to be on an equal footing with most people.
When your cognitive level improves and your knowledge, literacy and various behavioral skills are enriched, of course you will be able to achieve rapid changes.
The image has changed, the level of knowledge has changed, and the cognition has improved. Of course, what you say will be different and what you do will be different.
At this time, of course you are no longer a weakling in the eyes of others, but a person full of confidence and strong inner strength.
(6) Make yourself appear stronger through powerful actions
In addition to using the above methods to strengthen his inner strength, strengthen his psychological quality, and strengthen his personal opinions, a weak person Besides, what other ways can we change our image of cowardice?
I think we need to start from action, we need to start from language and behavior. You need to show your different trump cards and surprise those who used to look down on you, look down on yourself, despise or despise yourself!
I think this kind of powerful action means a firm statement, a timely counterattack, a necessary denial, a straightforward rejection, and a powerful refutation.
What is a firm statement is the courage to express one's own opinions and opinions clearly, regardless of what others think or think.
What is a timely counterattack? It is to find the right moment and the right opportunity to fight back quickly and accurately against those guys who always bully you or disrespect you, and let them know that you are no longer the same person and that you have become stronger.
What is necessary negation? Just when some people think they can command you to do this or that, and they think they can continue to boss you around, they sneer at their ideas and practices and directly deny them.
What is a flat refusal? That is, when others still want to ask you to help, take advantage of you, and take up your time and resources, simply refuse them and let the other party give up.
What is a strong rebuttal? This is to give a strong refutation of those erroneous claims, erroneous views, erroneous perceptions, and erroneous identifications against you, and let them know what you are like and what you have become.
Through your powerful counterattacks, rejections, refutations, denials and statements, the guys around you who may default to thinking that you are easy to bully and cowardly will be immediately surprised.
They know that you have completely changed and can no longer treat you the same way as before, otherwise they risk getting into trouble.
When you no longer compromise, no longer give in, and no longer accept those unreasonable demands, you will really become stronger.
But you know in your heart that a strong self needs a support system. This kind of support is the improvement of your comprehensive quality, the growth of your comprehensive strength, the improvement of your cognitive level, the growth of your courage, courage and wisdom, and the change of your external image.
(MZK)