Most stubborn old people are often lonely and sensitive, so they need their children's care, patience and understanding more. If there are differences, children should respect and understand the elderly, never rudely contradict the elderly, and never talk about small details or comfort the elderly in a foolish manner. Let the old people feel respected, and they may no longer stick to those unrealistic views.
2. Encourage the elderly to go out more.
The social participation of the elderly is gradually decreasing and they feel that they are not valued. In order to maintain their dignity, they are used to emphasizing the correctness of their words and deeds. Therefore, children should encourage the elderly to go out for a walk, help their parents to establish a social circle, get to know other elderly people in the community, make friends for their parents, and help them expand their life circle.
3. Encourage the elderly to change their cognition
Old people accept little new things and are influenced by traditional culture of respecting the elderly. They think that old people should be authoritative in their bones. The old man's stubbornness is closely related to his ideological understanding. If we want to overcome it, we need the elderly to go out of their homes and integrate into the society-if they are in poor health, we should also keep in touch with our neighbors and friends, read more books and newspapers, and constantly learn new things, so as to change our understanding and adapt our subjective views to the changing environment.
4. Meet the daily needs of the elderly
When people get old, especially after retirement, the dependence, self-esteem and support needs of the elderly are universal. They hope to get more warmth, care and intimacy at home, especially hope that their children can often talk to them about their families; They ask their children to be filial and respectful, ask for more advice when they are in trouble, and solicit and adopt their opinions; With the growth of old people's age and the decline of their physical strength, the old people hope that their children can help them complete housework, medical care and other tasks that they are difficult to accomplish independently.
5. Let the elderly change some understanding.
Stubborn behavior is always closely related to stubborn thinking and understanding; If we want to overcome it, we mainly rely on these old people to change their own understanding and make their subjective views constantly adapt to the changed environment. When confronted with the obstinacy of the elderly, the younger generation should not rudely contradict, but patiently give them some positive reasoning on the basis of understanding their psychology, so that the elderly will no longer adhere to those unrealistic views and practices on the basis of their own will.
6. I believe that all the actions of the elderly are well-intentioned and grateful to the elderly.
This is the premise of interacting with the elderly. In fact, under this principle, all contradictions and disputes can be minimized. China's parents are mostly "kind-hearted". They pay a lot of time and money for their children, and even when they are old, they will contribute to their children. Old people sacrifice their entertainment and friends, and sometimes they need to come to a strange big city to continue to look after their grandchildren. This is very touching in itself, so we should be grateful for their arrival.
I believe that what parents do is well-intentioned, and sometimes the way they do it is a bit inappropriate, but when you know that they have a heart to care for their children wholeheartedly, don't care too much!
7. Fully affirm the value of the elderly.
Old people tend to lose their sense of value and always doubt that they are useless, so we should fully affirm their value.
My father-in-law has no financial resources, so compared with some uncles and aunts downstairs who have pensions, he always feels that he has not created value and caused a burden to his children. Therefore, sometimes the husband will calculate with his father-in-law how much value he has created in a month: "Without you, we would have to hire nannies and hourly workers-nannies at least 1500 yuan a month; You cook and do housework. If you let hourly workers do these things, you will need a lot of money. So, you are creating value every day! " I believe my father-in-law heard about this algorithm for the first time, but it makes sense. He himself feels that he has really created a lot of value.
8. Treat the "nagging" of the elderly: listen carefully and don't interrupt.
I have always heard that old ladies are apt to nag when they are old, but I find that old men nag when they are old, hehe. My father-in-law, in particular, is a thoughtful man, so he always likes to express his views on everything and stubbornly thinks he is right: from inflation to how to cook, my father-in-law always has his own views-my husband always says he is a "good teacher", haha.
Father-in-law's opening remarks are often: "This matter, RMB # @ *&; ...%% # # ",here begins a long speech ... Sometimes, my husband and I, two university teachers, have to admire the old man's eloquence. At the beginning, we also defended it. As a result, we found that people didn't listen to what you said at all, but said it according to their own ideas. So, later, my husband and I were too lazy to argue. When the old man said, "That's the way it is," my husband and I smiled at each other, and when one ear went in and the other went out, we acted as if we were listening carefully. Old people often feel great when they see that we have no objection after speaking. He drank a glass of water, went downstairs for a cigarette and fell asleep happily. So, sometimes, children need to contribute their ears, haha.
9. White lies
Some people say, "Don't try to persuade the elderly". I think this sentence is really reasonable. How can you change the ideas and habits they have formed for decades in a few words? If there are leftovers in the evening, my father-in-law must not let them be thrown away. He won't eat new dishes the next morning, but he will definitely eat overnight dishes. If there is leftover food in the morning, he will eat it at noon. He thinks it is a waste and unforgivable behavior to dump the unfinished food. We say that eating leftovers n times is bad for your health and has little effect, so let him go!
As a result, one morning, I found that he had actually fed Niu Niu spinach all night! Wow, this is absolutely intolerable, but of course it is meaningless for you to reason with him. Then secretly dumped it the night before and told the old man, "I ate all the rice yesterday!" " Sometimes you really need a white lie.
10. Find the * * * issues that the elderly are interested in with concern.
Sometimes Niu Niu goes to bed early at night, and it's really hard to watch TV without a wife. He must feel lonely inside! So sometimes it is necessary to find some topics that he is interested in. Now the old man is most interested in having another baby downstairs. Is it grandma's or grandma's? What does the child look like, and so on. At some point, he told Niu Niu that Niu Niu was strong and walked steadily. The implication is that his grandfather looks fine. In fact, children develop early and late, but what's wrong with old people enjoying it?
I find it incredible that my father-in-law is very concerned about the situation in Taiwan Province Province. Why does a rural old man love CCTV 4? Sometimes I ask him, "Dad, which channel are you watching?" His answer is always "four", so there is no need to ask later. After watching the news broadcast, just change to CCTV 4 directly.
1 1. Meet the needs of the elderly for money.
Although money is outside, it is really important, especially for the elderly. If the elderly have a pension, even if it is only a few hundred yuan a month, it is also a great psychological comfort for them, because they will feel that their lives do not need children to support them, so they will live with more dignity. However, if the elderly don't have a pension, I think they must feel insecure.
So at this time, we should try our best to meet the needs of the elderly for money. To tell the truth, if they are healthy, how much can these life-saving old people spend? Therefore, I usually ask my father-in-law regularly if he has any money, or look in his drawer and put pocket money directly in. In fact, my father-in-law never spends money indiscriminately. Most of them buy delicious food for my grandson, haha.