In March, peach blossoms bloomed on the branches. On a sunny morning, I came to the western slope of the mountain with great interest. The rugged path, rugged rocks, the same field ridges, and dark green moss. It makes me read as if I was a child again. Climb to the top of the mountain, look down, and see the spring scenery: colorful butterflies dancing gracefully; bees rushing back and forth; clusters of mountain flowers blooming, shrouded in thin spring mist. However, the less eye-catching bitter cauliflower is smiling in the grass with tears of happiness. The beige stamens and green leaves look so plain, but the flowers they bloom are fragrant. I looked at this piece of bitter cauliflower silently, and I couldn't help but feel an unspeakable pain in my heart...
The bitter boy
The poverty of my family made me early I have learned to share the worries of my family and lighten the burden of life for my parents. "The children of the poor will become rich early." When I was 8 years old, I went to the west hillside with my eldest sister and brother to carry fertilizer, deliver water and food, carry earth washers, grind mills, go up the mountain to cut firewood and other housework. I don't care about it at all. I just feel like something is missing if I don't do some work every day.
One day, my eldest sister and I were pulling weeds and turning over sweet potato seedlings on the western slopes. It was noon and we felt a little hungry. Sweat flowed down our backs like earthworms. It was a combination of hunger and heat. I don’t know when I felt a sudden blackness in front of my eyes, and I rolled down the mountain. The sky really has eyes. A pile of thorn bushes blocked me. One shoe fell at the foot of the cliff more than 10 meters. When I woke up, I was already there. at home.
When I was 9 years old, I went to a nearby mine with my elder brother to collect charcoal. My thin body carried overweight cinders, and we could go back and forth two to three times a day. Even the wind and snow can't stop the pace of picking up cinders. From elementary school to junior high school, almost every Sunday was spent picking up cinders.
The biting cold wind carried flying snowflakes straight into my neck. The branches beside the road were covered with ice cream. There were piercing roars in the cold wind. The white snow covered the path. I left a series of footprints. The towering cinder piles were filled with smoke, and no one could be seen a few steps away. The dump trucks carrying cinders shuttled back and forth. Before the dump trucks had finished dumping, the cinder pickers were like hungry tigers looking for coal cores, cinders and wooden wedges. When I When I raised my head and prepared to leave, a piece of gravel weighing more than 100 kilograms hit the place where I was picking up cinders. It was really dangerous. If I moved a little slower, the consequences would be disastrous. I stared blankly at the big piece of cinders.
When I was 11 years old, my family of 9 people depended on my father, eldest sister and brother to earn work points. They worked at sunrise and rested at sunset. They were busy for 360 days, and one work point was not worth the money. The last box of "Harvest Cigarettes" was not enough for the whole family for half a year. At that time, my family was in the stage of climbing uphill with a heavy load. "The house leaked and it was always cloudy." We also encountered a choked autumn drought. Seeing that the food in our mouths was destroyed by the drought, the autumn corn was used by workers at that time. I carried the water on my shoulders to plant the corn, and finally managed to survive until the tassels sprouted and the ears grew. However, God was not kind to me. It seemed that "man can conquer nature" and insisted that not a single raindrop fell for more than two months. The autumn corn was already inherently deficient. The scorching sun lowered their heads and bent their waists, and the leaves shriveled pitifully. Looking from a distance, wisps of steaming white smoke emerged from the fields. The old people said that there is no hope for this season's crops. People are looking for various ways to survive. At night, grandma and mother burned incense, kowtowed, prayed to God and prayed to God to open his eyes and save this people. Although grandma prays every day and mother complains every day, God is indifferent. Every day he throws a ball of fire into the air and spreads wisps of flame. The earth is burning, the fields are burning, and people's hearts are burning. Grandma is disappointed, mother is disappointed, people are disappointed. The drought demon is burning crops and people's hearts. Food prices have skyrocketed. Corn, which usually costs more than 20 cents per pound, has increased to more than 70 cents per pound. God, how can my family have money to buy food? My mother was very calm. She mobilized the whole family to go uphill to collect croissant leaves, then boil them in a large pot and wash them with water three times before they were ready for consumption. They mixed cornmeal with croissant leaves and made them into steamed buns. Even so, they didn’t last long. We had to stop cooking, thanks to the superiors who brought us a lot of carrots, boiled, steamed, and raw. They were all carrots for every meal, and we all drank sour water after eating them. At this time, my mother told us a story: Before liberation, there was an unfilial daughter-in-law who gave carrots to her mother-in-law, and she and her children ate sweet potatoes. Later, when the son came home after getting married, he saw that his mother's face was very beautiful, and he asked his wife what he had given his mother to eat. "carrot". The daughter-in-law said embarrassedly. The husband also praised his daughter-in-law for this, so she said that carrots are a thing with a lot of nutrients. It made us laugh bitterly.
Difficult study
In the spring of 1973, I entered the campus of Zibo No. 2 Middle School with infinite longing for the future. The quiet learning environment and complete teaching facilities gave me, a child from a farm family, the confidence to study hard. But who would have expected that the newly restored teaching order would be disrupted by a "white paper hero". For a time, the school was completely changed beyond recognition, and teachers and students were at a loss. Teachers want to teach but cannot, and students want to learn but cannot. Even in this environment, I have never given up my desire to read the book. However, contrary to expectations, due to the atmosphere at the time and family difficulties, I faced the situation of dropping out of school twice.
I remember it was the night before the second school year started. My mother said to me: "Don't go to school. Even after graduating from high school, you have to go home and carry a hoe. Besides, it's very difficult at home. Tomorrow you and Zhang The teacher said, we can’t get into this class.” Looking at my mother’s sad face, what else could I say. After arriving at school, I saw my head teacher, Mr. Zhang, crying like a wronged child. I told the reason intermittently. Teacher Zhang said: "How can this be done? It is the time for you to learn knowledge at your age. I will do your mother's work."
On Sunday, Teacher Zhang really rode his bicycle against the cold wind of early spring. Come to my house. After some persuasion from Teacher Zhang, my mother agreed that I should go to school. At that time, I felt indescribably happy. This time I finished my sophomore year of high school.
However, the good times did not last long. Due to the lack of labor in our family, we received less food during the year-end dividends, and my father was seriously ill. My mother was anxious and said she would not let me study any more. After some hard talking, my mother compromised and agreed that I would attend classes three days a week and work in the fields the rest of the time to earn work points. I told Teacher Zhang about this, and he agreed without exception. In the first few weeks, I could still keep working as scheduled, but then I stopped working altogether and earned more than 100 jobs in three months. Teacher Zhang asked my classmates to send me messages to urge me to go to school. If I don’t come today, I won’t go tomorrow. Teacher Zhang became anxious and came to my house again to do some ideological work for my mother. That's how I returned to the classroom and completed my studies in high school.
Now, whenever I think about this, I always feel sour in my heart, and I can’t tell what it feels like. But for me, it is a fortune and makes me realize that life requires struggle, training, and hardship. It is not a bad thing to suffer a little when you are young. "How can you see a rainbow without going through wind and rain?" Opportunities are created and fought for, not waited for. Just like going to school, after passing this village, there is no such shop. I often use this experience to teach my children to cherish today's good time and study hard. At the same time, I am also very grateful to Teacher Zhang. Without his help, I would not have completed my high school studies.
A turning point in life
On June 7, 1975, I graduated from high school in a daze. I looked at my diploma and couldn’t tell what I felt. The 10-year-old life was spent in depression, confusion, melancholy and hesitation. After graduation, heading into society, the crossroads of life, where to go. At that time, I often thought: My father is a worker, and my son is also a worker. It is true that "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and mice are born to dig holes." Then, farmers' children will naturally become farmers, face the loess and back to the sky, and be the grandchildren of farmers all their lives. Faced with such a situation, I did not accept my fate. At that time, children from farm families had two options: either become soldiers or enter college. At that time, the college entrance examination had not yet resumed, and there was only one path in Huashan - to serve as a soldier.
After the coordinates of my life were determined and the task of recruiting soldiers was issued, I would either go to the brigade secretary or go to the commune to find the minister of armed forces every day. I had to be a soldier. After many efforts, I was finally honored to be drafted into the army on February 2, 1976, realizing my long-cherished wish. From then on, I truly embarked on the journey of life.
After joining the army, I was deeply infected by the intense and orderly training, strict and organized discipline, and the care and love among my comrades, just like the sunshine and rain nourishing my dry heart. . After one month of life in the recruit company, I was assigned to the commander class of the third company of the 100mm anti-aircraft gun, and served as the direction aiming hand (referred to as the second measuring hand). After the annual camping target shooting, he was sent to the regiment instruction team for two months of training, where he mainly learned the squad leader's organization and command, formation and military style.
On March 6, 1977, the old was replaced by the new. Due to work needs, he was transferred from the command squad to the artillery squad as squad leader. Joined the party organization on May 8 of the same year. On the 25th of that month, he was sent to the division teaching team for four months of intensive training, mainly learning the operation of artillery and weapons.
On March 29, 1978, he was transferred to the 1st Artillery Company as the backbone and served as the commander of the command squad. After being transferred from the third company to the first company, it brought many difficulties to the work. The former squad leader was hospitalized due to illness. The deputy squad leader and I were soldiers for one year. He originally thought that the squad leader should be his, but after I came over, he felt very uncomfortable. The work here is very passive. When I first arrived in this company, I was not familiar with the situation, so I had to start from scratch. In November of the same year, the regiment organized radar, commander and command platoon personnel to go to Leiyang Airport in Hunan for training, with the company commander leading the team. Something happened during the training camp that shattered my idea of ??progressing in the army.
One day, I was on duty. The company commander raised the alarm at the command post, indicating that the plane had taken off from the airport and that relevant personnel should be organized to quickly arrive at the position, but I did not do this. I was about to give the order to run, when a fellow in the same company said in his hometown saying: "Anyone who runs is a thief." But it was strange at the time that he didn't run after hearing this sentence. At that time, I thought I would rather not run away than earn this reputation. The company commander became anxious and cursed me by my name: "You bastard, run for me!" Now that I think about it, the words the company commander scolded me are still deafening. The company commander was as angry as an angry lion, full of joy. His face turned red and even his beard stood on end. Looking at his posture, he wanted to eat me. He scolded me severely in front of more than 30 people in my company.
Now that I think about it, it was indeed my fault.
If you were a company commander and your soldiers disobeyed orders at this time, you would do the same thing. Every time I think about this incident, I feel sorry for the company commander, and I also feel that I was too stupid at that time. Even if I act like a child, there is no occasion for it, let alone at the training ground. As all soldiers know, the training ground is the battlefield, and passwords are orders. Let's talk about a fellow countryman who says he won't run away unless he runs away. In fact, he is "fooling" you. Later, I went to him and said, half jokingly and half seriously, that I would come to you if I couldn't find a job. He said, "If I ask you to jump into a well, will you jump too?" Thinking about it, I would never complain, but I would blame myself for being too naive and stupid. Another reason is that I think that I have nothing to achieve in the army. If I join the party, my promotion will be very slim. The fellow villagers often discuss this matter when we get together. We close the stall at the end of the year and have the idea of ????breaking the pot and breaking it. These two reasons made my mistakes back then and set up obstacles for my subsequent development. Therefore, when looking at problems, we must take a long-term view, and we must not blind one leaf to the other, but look at problems from a development perspective. Since this incident, I have become disheartened about my development and am waiting for my demobilization at the end of the year. Although I had this idea at the time, even though the company commander had opinions about me, even though the work in the class was not going well. However, I did not become passive and decadent, never gave up, did not be overwhelmed or succumbed to these difficulties, but actively worked hard to do my job well.
Hard work pays off, and the opportunity finally comes. In December 1978, he received an order to immediately go to the war zone after shooting at the Suixi shooting range in Guangdong. At the end of the same year, he entered Pingxiang, Guangxi, and his mission was to guard Ningming Airport. Dig bunkers, dig cat ears, and engage in camouflage. We build walls with mud and houses with bamboo and thatch. This is our house. After getting up every day, I pack my quilt and move at any time. They were on duty 24 hours a day and couldn't communicate for more than two months. At 5 a.m. on February 18, 1979, the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam officially started, and fierce artillery fire lit up most of the sky red. As an anti-aircraft artillery unit, we are ready to destroy invading enemies at any time. From the beginning to the end of the self-defense counterattack, Vietnam did not dare to take off. On the one hand, we have strong air superiority and the enemy does not dare to take off rashly; on the other hand, Vietnam is too militaristic and cannot afford an air war. This is how we held our position until the self-defense counterattack ended victoriously.
On May 29, 1979, he withdrew from the war zone and returned to the barracks to rest and standby. The company arranged for veterans to visit their relatives. Before I left, my platoon leader told me: There are two possibilities, maybe promotion, or demobilization at the end of the year. You must be mentally prepared. After returning to the team on July 3, I was notified on July 4 to go to the division hospital for a physical examination. On July 13, I was ordered to serve as the platoon leader of the commander platoon of the third artillery company. I later learned that there were some twists and turns surrounding my promotion, thanks to Ma Changyi, the instructor in the camp at the time. Speaking of horse trainers, I need to say a few more words here. At that time, he was the political instructor of the 1st Artillery Company. He asked Guo Jiexiong, who was transferred from the 1st Artillery Company to the 3rd Artillery Company to serve as the commander platoon leader, to find a conductor platoon leader to serve in the 1st Artillery Company. Platoon leader Guo Jiexiong recommended me. When I was transferred from the Third Company to the First Company, instructor Ma Changyi received me and made some requirements for me. Within a few days, he went to Guilin Infantry School to study. In June 1979, he came to our battalion as an instructor. He was familiar with my situation, but he was quite concerned about me. He went to my company to learn about the situation, and his evaluation of me was mixed. Instructor Ma overcame all objections and recommended me to the 3rd Artillery Battalion as commander of the command platoon. Finally, the turmoil caused by me was finally subsided and the dust settled.
Looking back on the journey we have taken in the army over the past few years, I feel filled with emotion. Facing the wind and rain, walking on the rugged and muddy road, accompanied by tears of pain, we ushered in the joy of happiness. This is exactly what it is:
The haze is thick and the wind is blowing, and the ghosts are dancing and singing.
Ghosts cry and wolves howl to set up troubles, confusing right and wrong.
The wind is blowing and the cold current is coming.
The ghost sings, I cry and the jackal laughs.
If you set up a challenge, it will be hard to get rid of the resentment.
There is so much right and wrong, who knows what is right or wrong?
After the heavy rain, the towering green mountains are still there.
The sky is soaring, the clouds and mist are dispersed, and the sky is clear.
Ask the sky, how can heaven and earth be confused if they are clearly distinct?
Ask the earth, who knows who?
The sky is drooping, the wind is cold and the rain is blowing, the wind is whistling, and the dead leaves are falling. This was my state of mind at the time. I looked up at the sky and couldn't help laughing. Instead of doing his job, he becomes a "hero". Loyalty is relegated to lack of courage and ability. During these years when demons were dancing around and people were turning upside down, I was not conquered by evil, nor was I confused by those weird things. Instead, I marched forward unyieldingly in the face of the wind and rain.
Firmly believe that "only the truth will last forever, and everything will pass away." "Winter is coming, can spring be far behind?"
A period of auspicious snow makes the mountain peaks and fields look particularly enchanting, like a white world, giving people a feeling of freshness and whiteness. The white snow contains the rising spring mist. Oh, spring. The slow spring breeze kisses everything, causing buds to grow. The warm sunshine melts the ice and snow, and the clear snow water washes away the dust accumulated in the mountains, allowing all things covering the hillsides to wake up and restore their prime life. I could vaguely see: the bitter cauliflower hiding in the grass was dreamily sucking the clear milk and breathing the moist air.
Although it has been scarred by the ravages of the harsh winter, it has sprung up like bamboo shoots after the rain when the spring breeze blows and the sun shines.
She is so simple and unpretentious. She does not have the tallness of pines and cypresses, nor the splendor and splendor of the King of Flowers Peony, but the flowers she blooms have the earthy smell of her hometown, refreshing...
Me I often think: Shouldn’t we have this kind of cultivation?