The emotion of this "poem" (let's just call it a poem) is sincere, but there are many shortcomings in the choice of words and sentences. The first paragraph is straightforward, and in the second half, the author seems to want to express his feelings and sublimate them, but his writing skills limit his play and turn it into a slogan-style declaration, which seems melodramatic.
Motherly love is naturally the greatest and most sacred emotion between heaven and earth, and there are countless masterpieces praising maternal love since ancient times. It is good to show great maternal love from a bunch of carnations, but it depends on the author's ability to control words. Therefore, according to the literary skills embodied in this poem, I suggest that this poem needs no drastic action, because it is lyrical, the text should be as concise as possible, and the narrative part needs to be deleted drastically. Some words need to be scrutinized repeatedly to convey their feelings and finally become masterpieces.
After reading your information, if you wrote it yourself, I hope you can seriously absorb the useful words in my humble opinion, which will be beneficial.
Encouragement: You did it. Work hard, come on, read more and write more, change yourself, persevere, and you will succeed! Wish progress!