First, the goal of emotional regulation
To regulate emotions, we must first set a correct goal of regulating emotions. If "being in a good mood every day" becomes your emotional regulation goal, it must be said that it is an unrealistic goal. The mood is the same as the weather. Of course, it will be cloudy and sunny. It is impossible for all the suns to be sunny. Therefore, we should allow our emotions to appear "cloudy". Here are two goals of emotional regulation to share with you:
(1) has emotions.
There are often emotions, which is one of our goals of regulating emotions.
"Often have emotions" is in line with nature and common sense. Show happiness when you are happy, and be happy when you are happy; Be angry when you should be angry, be angry when you should be angry. That is, emotional expression is appropriate. It is human nature that emotions can be expressed at appropriate times and occasions. Being indifferent to everything is not in line with "moodiness". People who don't show their emotions are not very cultured people, on the contrary, they are immature. If you want to be a mentally healthy person, you must make your emotional changes conform to certain reasons and make corresponding responses according to specific situations. (Example: Lin Xiangru's Anger is Anger. ) "Often having emotions" is an experience of life. People experience colorful life in various emotional reactions.
According to the goal of "regular mood", you should be happy when you are happy and angry when you are angry. However, when expressing emotions, don't let them develop.
(2) Anger is measured.
Temperance is another goal of our mood regulation.
"Emotional moderation" means that the expression of emotions should be controlled to a certain extent and scope. You can't be as happy as you want and as angry as you want. Be temperate. "Emotional moderation" also means that the degree of emotional response should be adapted to the stimulus that causes emotion. If a very small stimulus causes a strong emotional response, then this emotional response is inappropriate and does not meet the "moderate" goal.
In order to achieve "moderation", we should remember: happiness should not get carried away; Don't fly into a rage when you are angry; Sadness cannot be sad; Fear cannot panic. This should be an important goal of personal emotional cultivation. Otherwise, your physical and mental health will be affected by emotions.
There are many allusions in China's history and novels. For example, Wu Zixu, a general of Chu State, passed Zhaoguan and lost his head overnight. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Zhou Yu was furious and vomited blood and died. Niu Hao's happy death in The Biography of Yue Fei is an expression of excessive emotion.
There seems to be a contradiction between "emotional regularity" and "emotional moderation", which requires both "regularity" and "moderation" In fact, the two are unified. When adjusting emotions, we should pay attention to the unity of two goals, and we should not pursue one goal in isolation.
Second, emotional adjustment methods
When we have bad mood, how should we adjust?
(1) divert attention.
To divert attention is to shift attention from things that cause bad emotions to other things, so as to free people from negative emotions and stimulate positive and happy emotional reactions.
(2) Exercise-do strenuous exercise.
When a person is depressed, he is often inactive. The less active you are, the less likely you are to divert your attention, the lower your mood, and the more likely you are to form a vicious circle. So you can change your bad mood by running, walking and other strenuous activities.
(3) learn to control emotions.
There are many ways to control emotions, and we only introduce four. First, let's do a little experiment: you calm down, say "laugh" and "laugh" in your mind and imagine these scenes. How would you feel?