I moved three times this autumn because I wanted to save some rent. When I couldn't clean up the mountain of property for the third time, I made up my mind that I would never move in the next three years if I could.
This is a community far away from the urban area, which has been built for many years. The house is very old and the public entertainment facilities are very poor. All the people who live here are old people. They chat and walk together in their respective dialects every day, talking about their parents' shortcomings and recalling the past, which makes people feel alienated from each other.
From the day I lived in this community, after work, I became an out-and-out house girl, living in a small building and not listening to any sound outside the window. Overlooking only from the balcony and window, undisturbed.
But I don't want to find anything significant in this small window.
Every evening, a strange woman passes by this building, sometimes alone, sometimes with others. It may not be appropriate to call her a woman, because she should be over sixty.
What is strange is her dress.
She is wearing a gray hat, a gray underwear and a pair of gray cloth shoes, just like a nun's dress in a movie.
"There are nuns in the community? Really, fake? "
Curiosity about this character made me excited at once, and I stayed by the window longer and longer.
Magical things keep happening. When I saw her the next day, she was still dressed as a nun, but all her clothes, shoes and hats turned orange. Seen from a distance, it is very eye-catching. For the next few days, it changed every day.
I didn't expect "millet" to have so many clothes!
I remember when I was a child, there were many children at home, and there was no labor force. I was often too poor to open a pot. Every time we cry when we are hungry, my mother shouts loudly, "If you make trouble again, I will go up the mountain and become a nun." . Anyway, there is no way out alive. "At that time, in our hearts, being an aunt was tantamount to punishment in the fire, so I had deep fear for her.
Nowadays, someone around you has really become an aunt?
Finally, I couldn't help but stroll around with my neighbors. If you want to find the reason, you must learn to "lurk". Learn to be patient even if you can't understand words far away. I soon won the trust of the old men and women with the modesty of my virtuous little wife.
"You mean Huier's mother?" When I asked a question in a roundabout way, an old lady answered directly.
"You mean she has children, that's ..." I'm even more confused.
"Not only have children, but also have great prospects. Now working abroad. " The old lady said enviously.
"Then what is she?"
"It's no big deal, you now this year, you can live the life you want. Put on this dress, the son is still a son, and the mother is still a mother. "
I'm more confused.
I gradually learned that "Huier's mother" is surnamed Jia and her hometown is in Shandong. She left her hometown with her husband who was a soldier in her early years and later settled here. Alas, she is really unlucky. Only a few months after giving birth, her husband fell ill and died. She became a widow at the age of 30. For many years, I made a living by doing small business and provided my son with schooling. My son lived up to expectations, getting higher and higher, and even went abroad to study for a doctorate.
She became old and lonely.
"After all these years, she hasn't remarried?" I asked an old lady who was getting to know each other.
"I don't know why, I haven't been married. People who have walked through the older generation are not necessarily civilized. The early chastity archways were all erected. " Her face is full of sympathy.
"Have you passed the people around the elders? Do you still follow three obedience and four virtues in your bones? "
I decided to meet this strange woman.
I chose an evening, and I waited for her quietly at a crossroads where she often passed.
I decided to meet her and look at her feet first. Women's foot-binding is a typical feudal remnant. Let's see if she is affected by this pernicious influence.
After a while, she came slowly. Just one person, God help me. I stared at her feet hard, but they were just normal big feet.
"Hello, can I go with you? I am also a person. " I said earnestly.
She stopped, as if not surprised at all, and smiled and said, "Let's go."
"Your clothes are very beautiful." This is the opening line that I have long thought of. Today, she wore an orange aunt skirt.
"I heard that you are asking about me everywhere?" She answered irrelevant questions.
"I ..." Being exposed on the spot made me uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do.
"I'm just curious to know what kind of legend you are."
I whispered.
"I am an ordinary person, an ancient family member, what is the legend. You really wasted your mind. " She said simply.
"Let's tell your story, it's really curious. How come you haven't been married again and still wear such clothes? "
I'm already a little calm.
"There is no story." She became a little silent.
After walking silently for two laps in the community, she said softly, "I have done two things in my life." Bear hardships and raise children. Now I can finally feel at ease. "
"bear hardships and raise children?" Yes, a single mother, in such a difficult situation, can imagine the bitterness behind raising and raising children.
"Why don't you ask someone to help you?" I finally told the puzzle I've always wanted to know.
"I followed the child's father out, and he was very kind to me. Although he has left, his position is full in my heart, so I haven't thought about looking for it for many years. Later, when the children grew up, I was advised to get married again. I am afraid that if I find that it has a bad influence on the growth of my children, I will simply make up my mind to live by myself. "
"What are you now?" I asked.
"I know you've been eyeing my skirt for a long time." She said flatly, "I'm not a monk, and I didn't bring my hair to practice." The old man saw through the world of mortals and was heartbroken before becoming a monk. I don't think there is anything wrong with secular life. I live like a normal person. I just want to calm my mind in this way. "She said quietly.
She told me that when I was young, I struggled to send my children to school. Now the child lives well abroad alone, so I have to take her with me. Everyone wants the leaves to return to their roots, but she doesn't want to be old without roots, and she won't go anyway. She believes that she can't starve to death with her pension and her son's remittance. My son was worried about her life and asked many people to help her find a wife, but she was used to the present life and didn't want to drag others down any more. In order to dispel the thoughts of his son and the people around him, he simply put on such an outfit to show his ambition.
"I know that my son is filial, and I know that everyone is kind, but life is alive and individuals have their own songs. All my life, people have looked at me with pity, but I don't think so. I think it is a kind of happiness that people can live according to their own feelings. "
"I am very happy now." As she spoke, she deliberately took out her clothes and said solemnly, "I thank this society for its tolerance."
Then she stopped and looked at me fixedly.
"You can understand, right?"
Say that finish, slowly walked forward.
I don't understand.
Her words sounded normal, but they gave me a great shock.
Now people everywhere are asking, "Are you happy?"
What is happiness?
Perhaps, happiness is just a kind of persistence. It is the gain and loss of everyone's experience and harvest.
This number gradually disappears.
Walking into an autumn fairy tale.