The weather is really nice today, with clear skies and white clouds floating in the sky. (I have never seen such a scene ^_^) My classmate Xiaogang and I rode to school together. Suddenly his car valve core broke, so I pulled out the valve core from my car and installed it for him. Continue to ride happily to school together. (It turns out that "my" bicycle does not need a valve core^_^)
When we passed a department store, I couldn't help but sigh: Ah! It seems that people's living standards have indeed improved. Look at the old farmer, with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right hand, trotting home. (More powerful than Zhou Xingchi in "Kung Fu"?!) They say you can't do two things at one time. When I looked at the old man, an old lady rushed out from the side road. She said that it was too late and that it was too fast. With a sound, I applied the emergency brake, but still knocked the old lady flying, and the basket full of eggs in her hand also fluttered in the wind. (What a beautiful egg^_^) With a "pop", the old lady was thrown to pieces, but she stood up and ran away. (This old lady must be a fairy^_^) She ran a long way before returning. He turned over and said to me: "Young man, please ride slowly. If I hadn't rushed home to feed my grandson, I would have enjoyed seeing you today!"
He rushed to school with lingering fear and entered just in time for the school bell to ring. classroom. The first class was an English class. As usual, because I didn’t understand it, I slept secretly until the end of get out of class every time. And because I was sitting in the last row, the back door of the classroom was right behind me. Every time get out of class was over, my deskmate would wake me up and go out to soak up the sunshine. Unfortunately today, the teacher asked me to answer a question for the first time. I was woken up by my deskmate while I was sleeping soundly. I thought get out of class was over, so I got up and opened the back door and walked out of the classroom. Three minutes later, I felt a strange environment outside the classroom, so I hurried back to the classroom and saw all the teachers and students in panic. The teacher tried not to get angry. She repeated the question, but I was confused and couldn't say anything. I just stood there stupidly for about a minute and ten seconds. The teacher said impatiently: "Can you?" Huh? You can't even squeak!" So I said loudly, "Squeak." The teacher fainted on the spot.
Let’s stop the article here, because the requirement is to write 600 words. I wrote nearly 100 more words. My beautiful and lovely Chinese teacher, would you consider giving me a few more points? Please, please, thank you. !
The editor’s words: Composition is to write down what you see, hear, and think on paper with a pen. If there are situations in the composition that do not exist in reality, it is called absurd. Therefore, the first step in writing a good composition is to observe carefully and make sure that the words are meaningful when writing.
2. Correction of Errors in an Embarrassing Essay
1. The 100-meter dash at the sports meeting finally started, and the students ran out like stray dogs.
Teacher Comment: Has the sports ground turned into a dog racing track? Thousands of dogs galloping, spectacular!
2. The teacher asked students to imitate the text "Tadpole Looking for Mom" ??and write a composition about someone. One student
imitated it like this: My mother is snow-white. Belly, bulging eyes...
Teacher Comment: Like mother, like son. I guess you also have a snow-white belly and bulging eyes.
3. On the "rough and bumpy" road of life, we must firm our direction...
Teacher Comment: This road can be the eighth wonder of the world after the Terracotta Warriors and Horses. Nine wonders.
4. The PLA uncles crawled forward one by one, like green caterpillars squirming on the ground.
Teacher Comment: Why did my mighty teacher become a "Bug Special Attack Team" when I came to your place?
5. Colorful flags are flying on the sports field, and young and old men are throwing darts. You dart, I dart. The intestines are full
The sky is flying!
Teacher Comment: It’s so scary. Is it a sports ground or a slaughterhouse?
6. Looking at the gloomy sky...
Teacher’s comment: There is a sky beyond the sky!
7. A hunter was chasing a wild boar in the forest. The fat, clumsy wild boar was already in the forest
risking his own life and escaping for countless rounds.
Teacher Comment: Risk your life to escape? Does the wild boar want to die or live?
8. A depressed young man walked alone on the cold street.
Teacher Comment: Poor child!
9. At first, my heart dropped to the lowest peak of Mount Everest...
Teacher Comment: Where is the lowest peak of Mount Everest? East longitude? north latitude?
10. One day, the teacher praised a classmate in the class and said that he used the idiom "green and dripping" well.
The next time I submitted my essay, almost everyone used the word "green and dripping". "There is a pot of verdant flowers in the corner of the classroom"; "Dad took out a verdant wine glass"; "She put on a green skirt, so verdant." A boy actually wrote: "These two I have a cold, and my nose is dripping green."
Teacher Comment: I am so angry with you!
Editor’s own words: For language expression, grammar is to solve the problem of incomprehensibility, logic is to solve the problem of correctness, and rhetoric is the problem of good or not. A good embellishment will make your expression more vivid, while a failed embellishment will make your article the laughing stock of others.
3. Typos in an Embarrassing Composition
1. A girl’s diary wrote: There are many people around my house who keep dogs, and they don’t have any ethics at all. I just left home this morning. When I came out, I saw a pile of poop from an unknown wild dog at the door. I ate a pound of it. (Massive! Massive! It should be "surprising".)
2. There is an essay about a Chinese teacher. When introducing the teacher's appearance, it should be "the teacher has a face with oval seeds", but the student wrote "The teacher has a claw face." The Chinese teacher almost went crazy.
3. After getting up in the morning and sorting out the "remains", we gathered at the school and took a bus to Kenting for our graduation trip.
Teacher Comment: I don’t know which funeral home your home is from? The teacher never knew... (should be "grooming")
4. Last night my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two burgers, "chicken nuggets and one shit"...< /p>
Teacher review: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (One serving of chicken nuggets)
5. My history teacher has long hair, short stature, bad temper, and a little "breast"...
Teacher review: History teacher You want me to tell you: "Tighten your skin for me next time in history class." (fierce)
6. I think I am a good student who is both good at character and academic...
Teacher comment: It’s time for you to worry about failing the grade. (Excellent)
7. It’s going to rain, and the farmer uncles are picking up small watches in the fields. (Mai)
Teacher Comment: Where can I pick it up? On Sunday we organize a voluntary labor. (Mai)
8. At this moment, a "Zhongzhong" car hit Xiaoqiang.
Teacher review: "Zhongzhong" brand car?
9. Those who eat food are heroes, and the fittest survive.
Teacher’s comment: Good teeth, good appetite, and great health! Choosing the fat and the thin is not the way to maintain good health. (Knowing current affairs)
10. Qu Yuan, who was exiled, never forgot to serve his country. In the end, because he had no way to serve his country, he kissed himself in the Wujiang River.
Teacher’s comment: I still miss Xiang Yu and refuse to cross Jiangdong! (Suicide)
In the morning of 11.2060, the Jiuquan Space Device Launch Base in Gansu...
Teacher Comment: Jiuquan? It was established by King Yama! (Jiuquan)
Editor's own words: Teachers have always compared typos to "Xiaoqiang" in rice. Think about it, if you don't want "Xiaoqiang" to appear one after another in your rice bowl when you eat, then just do it. Let’s work hard to drive “Xiaoqiang” far away. (Note: "Xiaoqiang" refers to cockroach, Stephen Chow's words)
4. Children's Fun Chapter of Embarrassing Composition
1. When I was a child, I kept a diary, and the teacher required it to be more than 200 words. , there were four people in a group, and the group leader checked the word count. A friend in my group wrote: "Today, my mother asked me to go out to buy vegetables. I asked how much it cost per pound, and the vegetable seller said 5 cents. I said: Really It’s so cheap, it’s so cheap, it’s so cheap, it’s so cheap…” The team leader counted and still had 4 words left, so my friend added, “It’s so cheap.”
2. The third grade students wrote about a rainy day. He said: On a rainy day, it is a good time to go to bed. My father and I went to bed after breakfast. That's it! The teacher asked: Is it all in one sentence? He said we were asleep! Did nothing.
3. The primary school teacher wrote a semi-propositional composition: "My xxx" and randomly wrote about people and things. As a result, the title of my classmate's composition was: "My Comrade Qiu Shaoyun".
4. "A red sun reflects the morning sun... As primary school students in the new era, we know that Beijing is close to the capital..."
5. For first- and fourth-grade students, use "Brand new" in a sentence, "A brand new vegetative person was born..." (Credit to Zhao Benshan) Real person, true story, absolutely original.
5. Asked to write "my classmate", a classmate wrote: "Guoqiang is sitting on a stool, his big butt is like a pumpkin in the field, and a large piece of underwear is exposed under his clothes. ". The teacher read it during class and said that the student described it vividly. After class, the student was chased and beaten by that classmate...
6. On a night when I couldn't see my fingers, the tadpoles in the pond were drying in the sun. sun!
7. When I was in elementary school, my teacher asked me to use the word "sure enough" to make a sentence. Some students wrote: I haven't showered in three months, and my body really stinks.
8. A classmate wrote "Watching the Lantern Show": I looked east and west, and I saw that my head was covered with all kinds of lanterns...
< p>9. Classmate’s diary: Day 1: Today I went to my mother’s workplace to play and had a great time.The next day: Yesterday I went to my mother’s workplace to play and had a great time.
Day Three: Today I remembered again that I went to my mother’s unit the day before yesterday and had a great time.
10. One time, my classmates and I went out to have breakfast. While we were eating, a dog ran up to a classmate and waggled its tail. He looked at the dog for a long time and said, "Call daddy, and I'll give it to you." You eat.”
The editor’s words: Chasing dragonflies and butterflies, day after day, year after year, unknowingly, the childhood of waiting for get out of class to end, waiting for school to be over, and waiting for games is far away. Went. But every time we open the composition books from our childhood, those childish language and casual mistakes still make us smile.
5. Misuse of Allusions in Embarrassing Compositions
With a wonderful pen, college entrance examination candidates can freely gallop in history and reality. Their bold imagination and humorous writing actually make boring , the dull history and the real world have become so interesting, he deserves to be the person who created history! Below are excerpts of some of the witty quotes, now presented verbatim for the enjoyment of the reader.
1. Li Yu is singing: Unable to carry, there are many sorrows, just like a river of spring water flowing eastward.
Teacher Comment: Li Qingzhao and Li Yu sang it together, right?
2. If General Montgomery had not reflected on his failure and continued to work hard, how could he have defeated Napoleon in the Battle of Waterloo
?
Teacher Commentary: Napoleon VS Montgomery? Then can Guan Gong fight Qin Qiong for 300 rounds?
3. Yue Fei chose to serve his country loyally and die. He fought countless battles in his life, so that the Huns soldiers were frightened of him
.
Teacher’s comment: The bright moon of Han Dynasty and the Pass of Song Dynasty? Remember that Yue Fei was a famous general who fought against the Jin Dynasty.
4. I remember Mr. Lu Xun once said this: Go your own way and let others say it.
Teacher Comment: Don’t carry stolen goods, Dante will have objections!
5. When Confucius was a child, he shared pears with his brother, one big and one small. His mother asked him to choose.
He only took the small one. This is famous The story of Kong Rong giving up the pear is not that Confucius couldn't finish the big pear, but that he made this right choice since he was a child, and later became the country that became China
Great thinkers in history.
Teacher Comment: I fainted, was Kong Rong actually Confucius?