And set up a person, you have achieved what you want ",and" don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you "_ _.
Say in detail:
When you read the Analects of Confucius, you will find that the word "gentleman" is the most common standard for being a man. In fact, this is a standard that we often say today that someone is a gentleman. But what exactly is a gentleman? Today we will talk about the way of a gentleman in The Analects of Confucius.
Voice-over: "Gentleman" is the ideal personality standard in Confucius' mind. In the Analects of Confucius with a short span of more than 20,000 words, the word "gentleman" appeared with more than 100 words. Even today, people still want to be a gentleman. How can I be a gentleman? Professor Yu Dan from Beijing Normal University will teach us the way of being a gentleman in The Analects.
In fact, if we sum up all Confucius' words, definitions and descriptions about gentlemen, we will find that there are several levels of requirements for being a gentleman. First, a standard is that a gentleman is a person who has a rich heart, cultivates himself first, and then shows a leisurely attitude. In other words, the strength of a gentleman begins with character and begins with the heart. As we all know, personality and style are always related. When we say that a person is gentle and then a gentleman in style, and has such a respectful attitude, the strength of this style must come from personality. Sima Niu, a student of Confucius, once asked the teacher:
Teacher, what is a gentleman?
A gentleman is a person who has no worries or fears in his heart.
It's too simple to be a gentleman without worries and fears. ....
The students were very disapproving, but they didn't understand at once. They thought it was so simple that they asked another question: Can you be called a gentleman without worrying or being afraid? Can this be called a gentleman? The teacher still told him lightly, "If you don't feel guilty after reflection, why should you worry?" (The Analects of Confucius Yan Yuan). In other words, our common people's language system says that it is not surprising to knock at the door in the middle of the night. Sleeping soundly alone at night is called introspection and guilt. A person can reflect on his behavior and everything he has done in society without guilt, which will make him worry or fear. In Confucius' view, introspection of innocence is the standard of a gentleman. Then this standard, no matter high or low, can be achieved by each of us; Speaking high is also a supreme standard. Confucius once told the students this question seriously during his lectures. Confucius was modest at first. He said that today we should talk about gentlemen, and that being a gentleman should do three things. Then he politely said I was incompetent, but I couldn't do it anyway. What is three o'clock? As the saying goes, the benevolent is not worried, the wise is not confused, and the brave is not afraid. That is to say, in this world, a person who walks in this world every day really needs peace of mind and a kind-hearted mind, so that there won't be so many sadness, troubles, fears and worries. Where did all this come from? It comes from your inner goodness. Because you are tolerant, you can ignore many details. Because you are ambitious, you can get rid of this world and give you small gains and losses. The second point is to keep the wise from being confused. In fact, it is very interesting to see the composition of Chinese characters. This confusing word, confusing confusion, the upper level is or or, and the lower level is the bottom of the mind, right? Actually, it's called probability in mathematics. What do you mean, it can be this way or that way. This is or. Then when the world is faced with many choices, you can go this way or that way, depending on whether your heart is big enough. If you have judgment and determination in your heart, you know that you will not be overwhelmed by many choices in the world. For us today, our pain is not that we have no choice, but that we have too many choices, which is what Confucius said. It used to be said that only half a century ago, everyone might have been in a unit for life, and there would be no change from marriage to life, and they would be neighbors of a complex from living to life. But today, there are too many choices and too wide horizons, which is the confusion brought to us by a prosperous era. What are we doing? We can't control the outside world. We can make our inner choices stronger, which is to make ourselves a wise man. Then the third point is that the brave are not afraid. When there are too many fears, fears and fears in this world, we remember a saying of the common people, which is called "When the two strong meet, the brave win". In other words, when your heart is brave enough and open enough, and you know that you have the strength to go forward, then you will naturally stop being afraid. Therefore, Confucius said, I think true gentlemen are benevolent, wise and brave, so there is less trouble, confusion and fear in the world. He said that I can't do this. His student Zi Gong said with a smile, the three standards you mentioned are yourself. Only when people like you really practice can you express this feeling. In fact, this is what he calls a gentleman. In fact, what is Confucius' standard for us to be human? He didn't say that you want to chase the ancient sages of Myanmar, and you want to be immortal. What he said is that at this moment, you should start from your own cultivation and be a real gentleman.
So who is a gentleman? A gentleman doesn't criticize the outside world very much, but spends his limited time, energy and cultivation on criticizing his own heart. This is what Confucius said: "If you bow down and lightly blame others, you will stay away from complaining about others." A person is strict with himself and relatively good to others. Today, we always say that people should be kind. What is kindness? Kindness is not cowardice, but his personality can tolerate and sympathize with many shortcomings of others. He can put himself in the position of kindness, can lightly blame others and be less harsh on others. This is a gentleman, a real gentleman. His magnanimous feelings are a kind of personality power that overflows from the inside out, so a gentleman never complains about others and doesn't cry for the land. This is what Confucius said: don't complain about others. It's not easy.
Voice-over: In fact, we often hear people around us complain about social injustice and their lack of talent. Professor Yu Dan thinks the discussion about learning in The Analects of Confucius is very interesting. It believes that learners have two purposes, one is to learn for gentlemen, and the other is to learn for villains. Is there a distinction between a gentleman and a villain in learning?
Confucius said that ancient scholars were themselves, and today's scholars are human beings. In fact, this view was later played and interpreted by Xunzi, a Confucian master. What is ancient learning for yourself? Those who truly respect learning, the ancient heritage is that learning is the achievement of human mind. Why do real people learn? Just like reading today, from childhood to adulthood, it is nothing more than learning the ability to grasp happiness, learning to be a knowledgeable, educated and loyal citizen, and then let yourself settle down in this society. Learning is to complete the establishment and promotion of such a self-role. So what is that kind of learning for others? It is to use it as a tool after learning a little knowledge, for example, writing articles to evaluate professional titles, looking for a job as a skill, using such knowledge and insight to please others and strive for a welfare for yourself in society. This is what Confucius said about learning for others. So Confucius once told his students directly: You should study for gentlemen, not for villains. What is a gentleman's study is to let us transcend utilitarianism and let everything we learn be more cultivated than practical. Because a person can't have such ups and downs of joy or depression until you really have a calm inner cultivation and know your position in this coordinate system. It should be said that this is a clear definition standard of Confucius. What is a gentleman? A gentleman always values the present, and he will always be a perfect person in his heart. A gentleman's goal is never too ambitious. We see that Confucius never said that a gentleman should be like a man. The gentleman proposed by Confucius here is always to be the best of himself. According to your own coordinate system, learn from now on and today, so that you can become your perfect self. In fact, this reminds me of a short story. It is said that there are three tailor shops in a small street, and each one is thinking that I must recruit the most guests, so I try to make myself very, very big. The first store said that I was the best tailor in the province and put out this big brand. The second saw that I was a little taller than him, so he made a bigger brand and said that I was the best tailor in the country. The third shop doubts whether I can become the best tailor in the world. After thinking for a long time, he finally made a small sign and put it there. As a result, all the guests in that street came to the third store, and the first two became deserted. What does this third brand mean? He wrote that I was the best tailor in this street, that is to say, he put this line of sight back in front of him and started from now on.
Voice-over: Doing your own thing and being a kind person is the first definition of a gentleman in The Analects, but can't being a kind person be called a gentleman? Professor Yu Dan thinks it is not enough to be a kind person, and a gentleman should have a second standard. What standard is this?
In other words, the first criterion is that he is just a kind person, and the second criterion is that he is a great and noble person. He must be ambitious and broad-minded. So this ambition can ask a person not to overestimate the present life. Confucius once said that "a scholar is not enough to be a scholar". If a person thinks about his house and life all day, then she can't be a real gentleman, and gentlemen should be all over the world. Confucius' student Ceng Zi once said: "Scholars have a long way to go." . Isn't it important to think that benevolence is your responsibility? Death is not far away (The Analects of Confucius, tabor). This responsibility has evolved into the so-called responsibility of the rise and fall of the world in the traditional Confucian culture of China. Actually, if you think about it carefully, the personality ideal of China people is very interesting. Confucianism and Taoism have never been completely separated, or even two tit-for-tat factions. They are actually two ends of personality ideal. In the words of Mr. Lin Yutang, everyone's social ideal in China is Confucianism, while everyone's natural personality ideal is Taoism. This is what we often say, if you are rich, you will help the world, and if you are poor, you will be immune to it. When a person is developed, he should think of his responsibilities in this world, and he will not give up his personal cultivation when he is at the end of the road and embarrassed under unbearable circumstances. This is a gentleman. Only when a gentleman constantly improves and hones himself in a difficult situation can he really develop and help others. So when we look at China in ancient times, after Confucius, after the Tang and Song Dynasties, we can see many famous people who cared about the world when they were extremely poor, which is incredible when you think about it. For example, Du Fu, who has a famous song "The Cottage is Blown by the Autumn Wind", said that in his house, the autumn wind howled in August, and Sanhe grass rolled in my house. What was on his mind when he was so poor? There are tens of millions of buildings in Ande, which make the poor people all over the world happy, thinking that there are more good houses for everyone to live in; Take Fan Zhongyan for example. Fan Zhongyan said that even if one is far away from rivers and lakes, one cannot live in a temple. When he asked himself to "worry about the world first, and then enjoy the world." So what are these feelings? It is the ambition of a gentleman.
In fact, a person with such ambition and broad vision has always been encouraged in The Analects. Confucius said: a gentleman is virtuous, a villain likes soil, a gentleman is pregnant with punishment, and a villain is pregnant with benefits. What does this mean? That is, gentlemen and villains think differently every day. A gentleman cares about his own morality every day. How is my moral cultivation? And the little man thinks about his house every day. He didn't think of covering all the poor people in the world. All he thinks about is how I can buy an extra suite, how I can use welfare to distribute houses, and how I can get more commercial houses myself. I am thinking about these people's food, clothing, housing and transportation, all the material life every day. This is called the heart of a villain by Confucius or the whole Confucianism. Of course, this is not a big mistake, but it is very dangerous if the human heart is limited to such a little interest without morality. What will lead to? This is the next sentence. The so-called gentleman is pregnant with punishment, and the villain is pregnant with benefits. Gentlemen always respect the legal system, and this punishment is criminal law, that is to say, the rules and standards of a country. Therefore, a gentleman is pregnant with punishment because he always has a rule and statute in his heart that cannot be crossed. He respects the social system, just as each of us walks across the overpass, crosses the crosswalk and waits for the red light. These seem to bring some restrictions to our life, but this restriction allows you, under the premise of respect and restriction. But what is the villain doing? Huaihui. This advantage is small favors, that is to say, taking advantage of small loopholes and taking advantage of small ones, once or twice, hidden crises will inevitably suffer big losses. At first glance, there is a yellow light flashing between the red light and the green light. You can run there. At first glance, the car quickly braked and waited for me to pass. I feel that this matter has taken a small advantage. Over time, everyone knows how big the hidden danger is. So what is a villain, that is, a person who does not broaden his horizons and seize the petty advantages in front of him.
So back to the gentleman, to be a gentleman today, we might as well start with perseverance. It is not easy to stick to this word. Because of the diversified choices of our society, we are excited, happy and passionate. We jump around in many choices, looking for a lot of value. Today, we are all smart people, but what we lack is real perseverance in flashy choices, and perseverance is to become a gentleman. Let us have more perseverance and determination, which brings us close to the standard of a gentleman. In fact, everyone will embrace some ambitions when they enter this society, hoping to make contributions and make a difference in society, but this fantasy will soon be shattered like soap bubbles. Why? Because our persistent aura is not enough to support us to do it, as a gentleman, we may not all reach the high level of perseverance without continuous production, but if we really have some determination, a broad realm is not far from the gentleman, which is the second criterion.
Confucius has a third criterion.
Voice-over: Professor Yu Dan believes that the gentleman mentioned in The Analects of Confucius is not at the end of his tether. In fact, a gentleman will always be our neighbor and friend, and the third criterion of a gentleman can help us distinguish between a gentleman and a villain among colleagues and friends. What is this third criterion?
The third criterion of a true gentleman is interest. His interpersonal relationship must be harmonious and friendly, and this person will eventually make a difference in teamwork. Therefore, Confucius once said that there is a great difference between a gentleman and a villain, that is, a gentleman is a group and does not dispute, but he is not a party. Gentlemen are gregarious. He is always indisputable in a large group of people. He doesn't have much argument with others. He can be proud and reserved, but he will never form a party for personal gain. What is a party? Today, we have a word called "being with the same party but being different", which means to form a party for self-interest. Gentlemen never form a party for self-interest. This is what Confucius said: "a gentleman is harmonious but different, and a villain is harmonious but different." What standard is this? The harmony is different. With so many people together, our views must be different. When we express our opinions, a real gentleman will listen to others' opinions carefully, and then he can understand the rationality of everyone's opinions, but he can still stick to his own standards. This is called harmony and difference. Confucius said: a gentleman is not equal to Zhou, and a villain is not equal to Zhou (the Analects of Confucius). What concept? There are so many people together in Zhou, and everyone is very thoughtful. How many friends a real gentleman has, he will make his friends feel very happy like oxygen in the air, but he doesn't flaunt himself, he lets all people take care of him; But what is a villain? This is a comparison. We see that this pictogram is two similar things put together, that is to say, a small person gathers in a small circle, and he doesn't care about everyone's emotions. For example, if you have a party, a gentleman will make all the people close to you feel very comfortable, but those with lower moral standards will find his most congenial person when they come, and then go to a corner to whisper, he will think that I am fine with you, but I don't care about other people's feelings. So this is called a gentleman's week, and a villain's week. The premise of this kind of person is "the sentence is open, a petty man is anxious and worried.." . Why is there such a contrast? It's because he's muttering in his heart. He always wants someone to coo with him, and the gentleman will make unremitting efforts. An open person should look into everyone's eyes and think about whether everyone is happy or not. This is a calm man. The classical beauty advocated by China is actually a kind of harmony for beauty. Harmony is a kind of tolerance and solution to others on the premise of adhering to different voices and different viewpoints. In fact, this is the way of a gentleman. A gentleman is always a good thing. So Confucius once had such a vivid description. He said: A gentleman is eloquent, while a villain is eloquent (The Analects of Confucius). It is easy for a gentleman to do things, but you can't please him. Everyone can do things together and get things done well, but in the middle, he is too angry to say, if you give him a small favor easily, he will give you the green light to open the back door, saying nothing, saying nothing. You want to please him, but it's unreasonable. If you give him a little bribe and give him a little self-interest, he will be unhappy. It also allows people, this device. When this gentleman really uses you, he will tailor a seat for you. In our place, everyone has a specialty in ability. If a person is short and long, there must be something he is incapable of. A true gentleman never demands others, but sizes up the situation and puts one of his functions in according to this person's materials. This is called a device. Put yourself in the most suitable position and don't give you any trouble. This kind of person is easy to do things, but it is difficult for you to please him. This is called a gentleman. Well, look at the opposite example. This narrative style of The Analects is particularly easy to understand, because it always puts gentlemen and villains together, and you will know what villains are from an opposite angle. It's easier said than done. A villain is a person who is particularly happy and can please him, but it is difficult for you to do things. Think about it, it is difficult but easy to say how vivid these five words are. There are many such people around us. For example, if you give him a small favor, you do him a small favor and you like it. Even if you buy him a drink, or invite him to the sauna for massage, this person will soon be happy. Can a person who is really so easily bribed still cooperate well? This man is not simple * This is what Confucius said, even though he is not in the Tao. Although you immorally please him, he is also happy, so you won the favor for a while. Do you think he will be loyal to give you the green light all the way in the future, and when it comes to employing people, will it make people look forward to it? Fully equipped. What is perfection and blame? At this time, you spent a lot of effort and money to get through the joints and connect with each other. Finally, one day he came to you for a job. You think he will pave a smooth road for you. At this time, he should blame perfection. He began to think that you were unqualified here and that you were not up to standard there. Why aren't you well? Can you be better?
Voice-over: The gentleman described for us in The Analects of Confucius must be a kind person, a noble person and a very easy-going person. Professor Yu Dan believes that a gentleman also has an important standard, that is, a person's words and deeds, that is, the standard of words and deeds. What should a gentleman say and do?
This is what Confucius said: a word from a gentleman is a promise that cannot be recalled. A gentleman should not say what he said first. Is that what you want to say? Do it first. This is called saying what he said first, saying everything, and then saying it lightly. I just want to do something and finish it now. For Confucius, those who talk big and can describe sky-high prices are described as "those who talk glibly are rare." If a person speaks so vividly, then there is very little real benevolence and righteousness in his heart. Who is a benevolent and who is a gentleman? Confucius said: fortitude is plain and close to benevolence. A person is firm and resolute in heart, but on the surface, he may be dull and may not talk much. This is the so-called gentleman should act quickly and speak slowly, that is, a gentleman should be extra agile in his behavior, but he would rather be cautious in his language. As we all know, there is a saying in the Western Bible that there are three things that can't be chased in this world, that is, the arrow shot, the words spoken and the lost opportunity. In fact, these words are sometimes like water under a bridge, which can't be taken back, so a real gentleman would rather do his own thing first. Therefore, this is the standard of Confucius. A gentleman is ashamed of his words, but he does not stop. This is an idiom today, which means that words and deeds are different. A gentleman who talks too much will lose. Therefore, being a gentleman must be harmonious and beneficial with others and maintain respect for the world and every individual. Under this premise, let your own things be done calmly. The power of a gentleman is always the power of action, not the power of language, but a real gentleman has a very high standard after mastering it, that is, a gentleman has never been placed there as a fixed profession and a small role. They are flexible. They keep pace with the times and adjust at any time in the great changes of this society. Because of his continuous progress, he can have a better position. These are the four words that Confucius said, that a gentleman is not a tool. A gentleman does not exist as a vessel in this world, nor is he a container. In fact, what is a container? It's just that you are qualified to have a job there. In other words, a higher level than professionalism is idealism. What matters to a gentleman is not what he does, but the motivation behind what he does. People are very strange, we are animals whose thinking determines our actions, that is to say, attitude determines everything. In this society, what we do every day is basically the same, but why we do such things has different explanations. I once read a book written by a religious reformer in the15th century, in which he told a short story when he was young, which changed his life. He said that one day, he passed a huge construction site in the scorching sun, and everyone was sweating and moving bricks. He doesn't know what they are doing. After he went, he asked the first person, and he said what you were doing. The man answered him angrily, saying that you can't see. I wasn't forced to move bricks. He thought for a while, but still didn't know why, so he asked the second man. He said what you were doing. This man's attitude is much more peaceful than that of the first man. He first gave the brick in his hand, looked at it and told him that I would build this wall. Later, he asked the third person, and he said, what are you doing? That man's face has always had a peaceful luster. He put down the brick in his hand and wiped his sweat. He proudly told this man, he said, are you asking me? I am building a church. Actually, you can have a look. What these three people are doing is exactly the same, but their interpretation is three levels. On the first level, I call him a pessimist, that is to say, you have reason to think that everything we do today is hard work given to you by life, right? Do we always have to pay? Of course, you can see that the current difficulties do exist; The attitude of the second person, I call it dedication. You know that building a wall is a partial finished product, just like salary, position and professional title. You know you deserve today's position, so you are not below the professional bottom line, but you have no higher pursuit. What is this state? This is what Confucius called the container kingdom. As a container, you are qualified. On the third level, I regard him as an idealist. In other words, every brick in front of you, every drop of sweat, you know that it leads to a temple and church, and you know that you will eventually have a dream. You are for your dreams, from your feet to your dreams. Every step you take is valuable, and your efforts will eventually come true. Walking on this road, you are not just a vessel. In fact, gentlemen are useless, which is such a simple word, but the profound connotation of these four words lies in that when we really put them into use, we should not be satisfied with what we are doing now, but should see the interpretation behind it, which is related to our lives, our dreams and whether I can build a church on the whole social coordinates. It may be because of my own efforts to complete this church, or it may be because of the shadow of a church dream to complete an individual.
As we all know, Ceng Zi's so-called "three provinces care about themselves" means that he has to reflect on himself many times every day. What did he reflect on? There are a few things:
The first is cheating on others. In other words, as a social role, he went to work, and he really did his job in Jinzhong. The second is to make friends. It is whether he is really loyal and trustworthy as a social role and gets along with friends; Ceng Zi's third criterion is cuteness, which is called whether it can be passed down. Have you reviewed all the knowledge you have learned? This is a standard of learning, that is, whether a person has made progress today, whether your own heart has developed a new spiritual realm, and whether you can improve it again. This is actually the standard for a gentleman to think for himself every day. It can be seen that gentleman is a word with the highest frequency in The Analects of Confucius, so behind this word, his truth is always simple, warm and harmonious. He does not exist in the books of ancient sages more than 2000 years ago, but actually exists in our present, in our current choices, and in the inner world of each of us. Therefore, in this sense, everyone can become a real gentleman.