Fuzhou Pingdong Middle School Huang Xi
This world is doomed that everything is reincarnation, no one can succeed forever, and no one will fail forever. We can't change the fact of this reincarnation, but we can make ourselves happier and more successful. Remember, keep smiling like summer flowers. Being able to look at life dialectically and optimistically, the author's emotion and attitude are quite correct. )
Remember when you laughed! When you see green trees and vines everywhere outside the window; When you see the flowers in the garden competing for beauty, they are colorful; When you see high mountains and flowing water, it is green; When you see birds jumping happily and singing to each other ... please smile. Isn't this beautiful scenery and all the vibrant things worth your smile? Remember your smile at the moment, which makes you "relaxed and happy, and forget all the insults". Absorb the beauty of nature by parallelism and create a mellow realm. At the end of the sentence, the famous sentences in the text are skillfully used to point out the charm of smile, which makes people feel the same. )
Remember when you laughed! We are immersed in books and wandering in ink. You see, Dongting Lake's "long smoke is empty, the moon is thousands of miles away, the lights are shining, and the static shadow is heavy"; Listen, among the mountains and rivers, "spring water shakes the stone, gurgling water, good birds singing and rhyming"; You smell, "wild incense." Scholars praise great rivers and mountains so much and write such literary words. Why don't we appreciate them? Why don't we appreciate these masterpieces one by one? Why don't we smile? Remember your smile at the moment, it is like a duck to water. (The author skillfully quotes famous sentences from Yueyang Tower, Zhushu and Zuiweng Pavilion to express his pleasure of being immersed in the book, which is both appropriate and shows the author's grasp of the text. Texts are a treasure house of composition materials, so we must pay attention to the study of texts and the edification and accumulation of famous works. )
Remember when you laughed! Although we can't keep success, we can keep confidence. Think of the proud smile on your face when you made that amazing painting; Think of the smug smile on your face when you are praised by your parents and teachers; Think of the bright smiles on your face when you got the certificate of "three good students" ... these smiles are the beautiful scenery on your growth path.
Remember your smile, whether it is when you appreciate the beautiful scenery of mountains and rivers, when you appreciate the beauty of literature through the ages, or when you remember success. These smiles will be the best doctors when you are frustrated. Will be the strongest rope when you fail; Will be the best stimulant when you are depressed ... these smiles are the source of your confidence and success in the future. Remember, when you smile, smile all the way, like summer flowers! (at the end of the article, the above three paragraphs are taken care of with related words, which makes the structure of the article seamless; Then clarify the meaning of smile, enhance the appeal of the article, and arouse readers' thinking and singing. )
[opinion]
"Remember when you laugh ... these smiles will be the best doctor when you are frustrated, the strongest rope when you fail, and the best tonic when you are depressed." The full text is clear-cut, positive and optimistic, and the arrangement of the first paragraph makes the article clear. Each paragraph describes the smile when enjoying the beautiful scenery, the smile when immersed in the book, the smile when successful, the proper use of parallelism and metaphor, and the end takes care of it, which is very powerful. (This article is a first-class volume, with a full score of 60)
Remember when you came out of the cocoon.
Candidate Zhu
When a butterfly wants to show its beauty, it must break through the tight and tough pupa wrapped on its surface. Although it will experience great pain, it believes that no matter how difficult it is, it can be broken through by its own efforts.
At the moment, the dense cocoons make it breathless.
Alas, it's another sad day. It seems that even God is against me, and it keeps raining.
Failing the exam for several days in a row was a heavy blow to my original self-confidence. At that moment, I felt as if I couldn't stick to success no matter how hard I tried. It is also for this reason that the idea of giving up once existed.
When the (future) butterfly can't break through the hard [change to "tenacity". 】, at that time, it really wanted to have a rest and wanted to give up.
However, that stubborn heart and the desire for success still made me get rid of this irrational and very negative idea. I can't give up, so I changed my study method and decided to rally.
Beautiful [should be "the future". As long as the butterfly wants to break through the pupa (cocoon) and fly freely in the splendid flowers, the heart that once wanted to give up will shrink back.
Maybe my sincerity moved me. I gave up the original method of studying hard and tried to relax myself. I just wanted to try it before, and I never thought it was an excellent learning method. Of course, several exams in succession swept away the gloom of the past, and I can show my skills almost every time. Although I have experienced many setbacks, I am still very happy, but the most important thing is that my confidence has come back.
When the butterfly tried to break free from the pupa (cocoon), suddenly, the pupa (cocoon) broke ... At that moment, the beautiful butterfly realized her wish and floated freely in nature. Yes, it worked. I believe that all people will be happy about it.
I think I will never forget that time. No one knows, and no one can deeply understand the pain at that time. Only I have this unforgettable experience. I also believe that I will take it as another starting point of my life, and meet one challenge after another with perseverance and perseverance, and meet one beautiful moment after another!
"Dad, look, this is a beautiful butterfly ..."
[opinion]
It is beautiful for a worm to turn into a butterfly, but it is painful to break out of the cocoon; Although the improvement of grades is gratifying, the confidence and strength in the process are not easy. Through the analogy between the two, the author links his study life with natural phenomena, and develops two clues in parallel, that is, the butterfly emerges from the cocoon and regains learning confidence, which makes people deeply realize how valuable the harvest after persistence and hard work is. This should also be the author's simplest and most beautiful thinking about life. The deficiency is that the paper lacks sufficient explanation for the change of its own learning methods, which seems a bit abrupt; In addition, biology is not well studied, or life accumulation is not enough, and many nouns are used incorrectly. (Volume II, 48 points)