Because of this illusion, many historical books record many ancient legends, such as the famous abdication system and the famous "Qi Mei". The ancients thought that these were excellent moral qualities displayed by predecessors and worth learning by future generations.
But in fact, these are all fake. Both the Zen system and the Qi Mei case have a very dark mentality behind this beautiful appearance. At that time, the Zen system was just a cruel coup, and the "Qi Mei's example" we yearned for was also an exaggeration of male superiority and female inferiority. What the hell is going on here?
First, the meaning of Qi Mei
According to Modern Chinese Dictionary, "Introducing Qi Mei" originated from Liang Hongchuan, expressing the meaning of mutual respect and harmonious relationship between husband and wife. So generally speaking, modern Chinese regards this as a commendatory term and an ideal state of husband and wife.
Nowadays, many women always mention this word every time they communicate with their partners, hoping to achieve this state. It seems that people think that this state can make the relationship last longer and help each other by holding hands.
Moreover, many people think that in modern society, either men are too strong, which leads to domestic violence against women, or women are too strong, which makes men lose their dignity. This imbalance will only lead to abnormal marriage. Only by respecting each other in ancient times can there be real stability and harmony.
So, in the official records, does the Qi Mei case really represent a kind of beauty?
In fact, the records of modern China people are not necessarily correct, because Qi Mei, like lying on the ice looking for carp, is probably a beautiful imagination, but also a cruel insistence. What the hell is going on here?
Second, an awkward marriage.
According to the legend of Liang Hong, Qi Mei's story is about Hongliang and Meng Guang, but it is worth mentioning that this story is not sweet, only calculation and counter-calculation, and male paranoia.
First, let's look at Hongliang. According to the legend of Liang Hong, Hong Liang was an official in the period of Wang Mang. Because his father died young and his family came down, the former son of an official became a broken family. But because this person has a strong sense of self-improvement when he was young, he is eager to study hard and claims to be reading ancient books.
But Hongliang's growth experience is very strange, much like the later Lord Harry. He is not only unwilling to deal with his classmates, but also unwilling to accept anyone's goodwill in the name of self-improvement.
Not only that, but there is also a very paranoid belief in the loud heart. He can't tolerate being looked down upon, nor can he allow his creed to be trampled on.
For example, once he accidentally burned someone else's house, he not only gave all his property to the other party, but also vowed to work for others for generations to solve the property losses. It's just a fire, and the result is paranoia. Many money owners are question marks, and even people around them can't stand it.
So Hongliang's fame spread quickly, and he became famous himself, but in fact, from this passage, we can see that this man is extremely paranoid and has a strong self-esteem, which is not as strong as Harry who works for the country and the people. But since he is famous, naturally many people want to find him as a son-in-law After all, his performance is still in line with the three cardinal principles and the five permanent members.
However, Hongliang is very arrogant. He wants to find a wife, but he is absolutely unwilling to find a noble name to embarrass himself and then become a vassal of others. Therefore, relying on his pride, he refused all the proposals from rich families, but wanted to find another wife, so he has been looking for an object with delicate hands.
Just then, a family had a daughter named Meng Guang, who was ugly and had great strength. Most people dare not go near her at all. Meng Guang, on the other hand, was often forced to marry by her father, who forced her to marry in order to preserve her dignity, so she proposed not to marry unless she was a clever girl.
In this way, an ugly rich girl and a talented scholar with strong self-esteem finally got together and got married. Qi Mei was cited as an example from their relationship.
But it can be seen from this marriage that both of them have serious defects and want to seek self-esteem, so this marriage may have problems in the future.
Third, the cruel facts.
Sure enough, the two fell into a cold war seven days before the wedding. Meng Guang hopes to find a person with a very high moral level who doesn't care about women's beauty and ugliness, and then he can be happy all his life.
But no one expected that although Hongliang didn't care about the beauty and ugliness of the girl, the wife he wanted was absolutely obedient to himself, and he didn't have any big miss temper. Obviously, Meng Guang was disappointed when he got married, so they had a cold war for seven days and ignored each other.
It was not until the end that Meng Guang realized that he was going to take out his linen clothes and take off the makeup on his face, so he apologized to her husband and said that he was just testing him. At this time, they started a formal life of husband and wife, but this life is not as beautiful as we thought.
After all, Meng Guang is a rich woman, so she also has her own dignity and pride, but obviously, her husband is extremely dissatisfied with this. Hong Liang stressed more than once that "my wife should be able to serve me!"
It is obvious from the word "feng" that I hope my wife is a service person. He is an absolute subordinate to himself, just like superiors and subordinates, with a strict hierarchy.
And Hongliang was familiar with Confucian moral classics, so he was influenced by the trend of being a humble woman at that time, and his extreme self-esteem, so Meng Guang had to give him three points lower when he contacted him, otherwise they would have conflicts.
Meng Guang was forced to show her respect for her ugly appearance in order to show the friendly relationship between the two couples. Qi Mei's story came into being under this background.
And the record at that time was that Meng Guang held things above his eyebrows with great respect. It also shows that she dare not raise her eyes to see her husband, and also expresses her fear and obedience to him.
So from the whole story, their love is not reliable at all, on the contrary, it is very mandatory. Where husband and wife feel warm and respect, it is simply an oppressive calculation. His wife wanted a respected moral gentleman, but she found a very extreme male chauvinist. Then she can't communicate with him normally. This is the truth that we yearn for "quoting Qi Mei".
abstract
Looking back at this allusion, we will be surprised to find that many things in ancient times were not like this at all. Although many documents describe these stories superbly, they even describe tenderness. But it's actually just a point where people only see one thing. As a result, they played freely through this point, which led to so many mistakes.
Moreover, some scholars have said that China people tell history not about the past, but about the present, and the stories they tell are all to meet their own needs of modern politics. At that time, the three cardinal guides and the five permanent members were needed, so there was a new story, and Confucius needed to resolve the collapse of rites and music, so there was a story of Zen. So all historical stories are not about the past, but about the present, which leads to many mistakes.