It is difficult for us to understand others thoroughly, because we don’t know what they are thinking. We can only see and hear their surface. The surface is not everything, and the surface may be an illusion.
But do we know ourselves very clearly and thoroughly?
There is a famous saying in Sun Tzu's Art of War:
Hua Shan believes that the problem of knowing yourself and the enemy is often not that you don't know the enemy, but that you don't know yourself.
Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty agreed and said:
Many times, we can be more objective in our evaluation of others, but our understanding of ourselves is more subjective emotions than objective evaluations, and the biggest The problem is that we tend to overestimate ourselves.
Those of us who regard modesty as a virtue may not boast that we are the best in a certain aspect, but most of us will consider ourselves to be at least above average.
For example, an article by Li Xiaolai said that nearly 90% of people believe that their driving skills are above average.
Another example is the civil service system. When it comes to commending, rewarding, and selecting personnel, everyone thinks that their performance is at least as good as others.
Social psychology has a special name for this phenomenon: the Lake Wobegon effect. It refers to a psychological tendency of people to always feel that everything is above the average level, that is, to rate oneself higher than the actual level in many aspects, also called self-enhancement bias.
It can be seen that being humble is a high-level character, because it sounds correct but is difficult to do, and it can also be said to be anti-human. More people appear humble on the surface, but they are not necessarily truly humble on the inside.
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The illusion of overestimating ourselves not only makes us unable to find our own position, but also makes us think that we are omnipotent, omnipotent and omnipotent. Prepare.
There is a saying in Sun Tzu's Art of War:
This sentence is written in "Virtual and Real Chapter", which means that the troops fighting cannot be fully prepared and comprehensive in all directions. There must be both real and virtual. . If you focus on preparing the front (back) and back (front) sides, they will be empty. If you focus on preparing the left (right) and right (left) sides, they will be empty. If you want to be comprehensive and prepare solidly in all directions, the result must be that every aspect will be perfect. It's empty, because the strength of the army is limited.
The same goes for people. The time, energy, and resources that everyone can control are also limited. If you invest in many aspects at the same time, or frequently adjust the direction of investment, the result will be that the monkey breaks the corn, throwing away each one, and accomplishing nothing in the end.
This truth is not difficult to understand, but because we overestimate ourselves, we often think that we can be prepared for everything. We have to do this and do that, and spread our time and energy into many aspects. , "Sprinkle pepper noodles", and euphemistically call it "the pursuit of perfection", but in the end, you will be exhausted and may not achieve anything.
"Perfectionism" is a typical manifestation of overestimating yourself. To understand yourself correctly, it is very important to recognize your own imperfections and admit that you have both strengths and weaknesses.
When dealing with one's own strengths and weaknesses, the best strategy is not the classic "barrel principle", that is, giving priority to making up for shortcomings. The result obtained in this way is often not "perfect" but "mediocre" .
A better strategy should be to "avoid the reality and attack the fictitious". Concentrate on making your own strengths very long and become your own signature (real). Relatively speaking, others are weak in this aspect. In terms of your own shortcomings, that is, the strengths of others, try not to expose them as much as possible, that is, what you choose to do must have a lot to do with your own strengths and little to do with your own shortcomings.
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The world is so big, but the most important thing is ourselves.
Although we are not the center of this big world, we are the center of our own small world.
Therefore, it is important to understand yourself correctly.
Correctly understanding yourself, knowing that your abilities are limited, your time is limited, and your talents are limited, admitting that you have strengths and weaknesses, and accepting that you are not as good as others in some aspects is the first step to making a difference. step.