1954, Fu Lei was 46 years old. In this year's letters, he has been emphasizing that children are his best friends, and children have given him many profound life experiences, and also let him learn patience, speaking skills and emotional sublimation when getting along with children.
First, Fu Lei never hesitates to express his feelings for his children, which is a good way of communication.
Sometimes as a friend, sometimes as an elder, sometimes as a modest person, there is deep love for children everywhere. But more importantly, he can also have in-depth communication with his children in their careers. How to treat love? How to treat the truth? How to treat art? How to treat learning? These are beyond the power of parents who only care about their children's food and clothing.
Second, Fu Lei is particularly concerned about children's mental and ideological growth.
Fu Lei's letters to his son Fu Cong are basically two letters a month. Like other parents, they are most worried about the safety of their children, and they will also pay attention to their health and not go swimming. But the most important thing is the growth of mind and thought. From how a person faces the living environment abroad, to how to make good use of feelings in artistic creation, and finally how to make a summary.
Facing the living environment abroad, he said: these are the themes of life suffering, and the rest are just variations. This painful experience has probably made your spiritual growth a step further. One somersault after another, as long as you get up, you will gradually climb to the top and surpass yourself.
Emotional control in artistic creation, he said: psychologically and spiritually, make more preparations, exercise more will, and be prepared to withstand loneliness and emotional fluctuations for 4 or 5 years. This is what you should do now. Try to control your feelings and move them into art, everything should be awakened and closed early, and don't let the enthusiasm rise without depression. At that time, there will be more pain and less convergence.
In a word, he said, don't let your new feelings float on the surface of your feelings, but carefully analyze the differences between your new feelings and your original ideas and emotional expressions. This requires calm and strong intelligence to analyze clearly.
Thirdly, Fu Lei gave methodological guidance on ideological issues.
Fu Lei focused on explaining to his son how to overcome nervousness. Pay attention to what Gong Yu's "One Mountain Spirit" needs to do, and take mental health construction as the key work, because he thinks that playing the piano is based on mental health. Reflecting on our present situation, many parents are always blindly advocating their children's achievements, as if they pay little attention to their psychological feelings. Some people pay more attention to their health and eat well. Are you dressed handsome? As for what children think every day, don't think.
When the child was young, he said that she was still young and we could help him make a decision. When the child grows up, he always takes the child as an adult and has his own ideas as an excuse, so we can just follow her.
Many parents know what their children like to eat and play. But many parents don't know what their children like to think and learn. Fu Lei, this is very good. Like friends, his communication with children is a deep spiritual communication, which is also the spiritual wealth that parents can leave to their children.
Fourth, Fu Lei's expression of his son's feelings is profound, ordinary and nuanced.
I had a tentative chat with my son and found something was wrong. The son said that the school teacher taught Fu Lei to interfere with children's lives too much and didn't respect their privacy. I was surprised at what the teacher said, because I didn't think it was an interference in my reading.
Is the father's concern for children's life and feelings abroad interference? When reading an article, we must combine the historical era and background of the author. 1954 At that time, there were no mobile phones and communication was underdeveloped. China was in a hurry, and the children far away from home didn't reply for more than a month or two. Can parents not worry? Fu Lei said in his letter that he had not heard from his son for a whole month and three days. He asked his son not to laugh at his haste. He said he couldn't help himself, because his nature was there and there was no way. Now, if we can't get through to our child for a minute, we will be anxious and paranoid, even if we know that he is at school, we will feel uneasy. Fu Lei's children are abroad and the country is so weak. Will children be in danger abroad? How can he not worry?
Fourth, if parents want to make friends with their children, they must vibrate at the same frequency.
Fu Cong's piano performance is characterized by combining ancient China literature with western music. The reason is that Fu Lei often recommends to him some ancient books selected from the Tang and Five Dynasties Song Ci. These ancient books are rich in the exchange of ancient literary history, which makes me feel that making friends with children should have the same spiritual and cultural frequency. How can you be friends with him if you don't understand what he cares about? Many parents are saying that there is a generation gap between their children and them. Does it mean that parents stop learning and growing? This is exactly what Fu Lei said. You have added some profound experience to my life, and I have learned patience, speaking skills and emotional sublimation from the process of getting along with you!