Early in the morning, on the road. Pedestrians come and go in a hurry, as if they were catching something. They have put on long clothes. At this time, yellow has started to climb the forehead of the green tree, and a few scattered leaves have fallen and wandered sadly in the wind. And the branches and leaves of pine trees still insist on dancing intoxicated in the autumn wind.
At noon, in the community. I smell the chrysanthemum in the distance. So excited! Looking from a distance, the large area of flowers in Huang Cancan attracts people's attention. Like the light from the sun; Like a bonfire on a winter night. Approached, bowed their heads and sniffed, the smell of sunflower seeds, the brain awake a lot.
When I got home, a sweet smell suddenly got into my nose. Mom's favorite, boiled corn cob. Shiny, Huang Chengcheng's, like it's set with gold and diamonds. It's steaming. It looks delicious, but it tastes terrible.
At night, everything is quiet. I can't hear cicadas anymore. Maybe I'm tired. Occasionally, a few crickets will sing softly to make this autumn night quieter. The bright moon has risen to the sky. It should be round and cold. I can have a good sleep.
Comment sentence by sentence: "Look! Autumn is getting closer and closer to us. " This kind of beginning is very direct, let the children go straight to the point, don't be in a fog, and can't open the door for a long time. A master's writing comes straight to the point, and it is beneficial to open books. For example, Chairman Mao said, "Who is our enemy? Who are our friends? This issue is the primary issue of the revolution. " How nice it is to open the door like this. Therefore, this is the most commendable place for Fanzi.
Let's talk about the logical relationship first. One is in the morning, one is at noon, the third is at home, and the fourth is at night, written through four periods. What I want to tell you here is that the composition should also be logical. The form of stereotyped writing, what ABCD, has more essence than dross. We don't need it now, but the logic still needs to be talked about, just changed to morning, middle and evening. Actually it means a, b, c and d, ABCD.
"Pedestrians come and go in a hurry, as if they were chasing something." This talks about an artistic conception: seize the day. Because time changes quickly, autumn comes in a blink of an eye, and it is not in vain. Let children feel the relationship between autumn and time, not just the scenery.
"They have put on long skirts." This is realism, the color of color, sound, fragrance, taste and touch.
"At this point, the yellow has begun to climb the forehead of the green tree, and a few scattered leaves have fallen and wandered sadly in the wind. The branches and leaves of pine trees still insist on dancing intoxicated in the autumn wind. " I changed the original, one of the purposes is to compare. One is yellow, the other is still dancing, showing the logical relationship between sentences. If you don't change it like this, it will be a bit stiff. The second is writing. In order to compare with dancing pine branches, I used. The first is a tree, which is compared to a person. Yellow climbed on his forehead, and strands of hair compared the leaves to hair. The third is to write the feelings of sadness, loss and aging. In contrast with the intoxicated dance behind, it shows that although autumn comes, it does not lose its vitality. It should be noted that the logical relationship between sentences is not a patchwork relationship. Early morning, noon, at home and at night are the logical relationships between paragraphs.
"At noon, in the community. I smell the chrysanthemum in the distance. So excited! "
Smell-this is the writing of incense, smelling autumn; So excited! It's Italian, which means a feeling and excitement after smelling autumn. This also echoes the last one. People who wrote earlier hurried past on time-sad, and then suddenly more alive than pine trees.
"From a distance, the large area of flowers in Huang Cancan attracts people's attention." This is the color method, which is what you see.
"Just like the light from the sun. Like a bonfire in a winter night. " This is Italian, but I want to remind you that this couplet writing can be used as multiple metaphors. Back to the front: early morning, on the road, at noon, in the community. This is also the writing of couplets.
"When I approached, I bowed my head and sniffed. The fragrance of sunflower seeds came to my face and my brain was awake a lot. " This is the incense method, and it smells like autumn.
"When I got home, a fragrance suddenly got into my nose." It was still fragrant and delicious. It seems that the child has a good nose.
"Mom's favorite, boiled corn cob." Five words and one sentence help to strengthen the sense of rhythm of the article and make it catchy to read.
"Shiny, Huang Chengcheng's, like gold and diamonds on it." There are two couplets or words. One is shiny, Huang Chengcheng. The second is gold and diamonds. In other words, we can say that this thing looks like what it looks like. Only the relevant words are omitted here. Everyone should pay attention to the fact that our sentences are all connected by related words, but most of them are omitted by us.
"steaming, it looks delicious, but I can't bear to eat it." The best thing is that I can't bear to eat it, echoing the front, as if it were set with gold and diamonds. There is a meaning here, that is, what is delicious? It's something you can't bear to eat It's definitely not the best to say something that makes people gobble up. Therefore, you should learn to think in reverse when writing articles. For example, I smell autumn, which is different; For example, if we say that baked sweet potatoes are delicious and want me to write, I will definitely write that smelling sweet potatoes is better; For another example, when writing about winter, you don't have to write about cold, but you must write about hot: snowball fights and instant-boiled mutton are very hot.
"At night, it's quiet everywhere. I can't hear cicadas anymore. " I changed it and used "Psst-Qiu Chan, this is the last time". So this is appropriate. The idiom "silence" means that cicadas will stop chirping when it is cold. I can't hear cicadas anymore. Maybe I'm tired. It also means that everything has to rest. Our little master is tired and wants to sleep.
"Occasionally.