There is a saying in "The Analects of Confucius" that "people with different paths cannot plan together." If the paths chosen are different, how can we plan together for the future? This is true for friends and career, let alone a partner for the rest of his life?
Sister Hong and Brother Duan, one is fiery and the other is as gentle as jade. Many people think that if their personalities are different and they make up for each other, it will last forever.
Brother Duan’s job is very complicated. He works wherever there is work. He was originally a worker in his work unit, but later he was laid off when the company went bankrupt and started working as a handyman. No matter how busy or tired he is at work, he never forgets to take care of his two daughters.
I wake up in the morning to prepare breakfast and send my little daughter to school; I come back at noon to prepare lunch; in the evening, after dinner, I help my daughter with her homework. Sometimes I stay up until early in the morning, and it is still the same the next day. Day after day, year after year, no change comes in the wind or rain.
His salary is not much. In addition to his own cigarette money, it basically covers the expenses of his two daughters, pocket money and money to buy tutoring materials. For so many years, my family has never stopped reading books, calligraphy books, painting books, and all kinds of extracurricular books. As long as my daughter likes to read, I will support it. They are not like father and daughter, but more like friends.
Sister Hong works as a chef, working from 7 to 6, with a three or four hour break at noon. Compared to other people’s jobs, it’s not bad. Apart from going to work every day, I play mahjong with my friends during my lunch break, and have very few interactions, such as taking my daughter out for shopping. In my daughter's world, my sense of existence is very low.
Brother Duan spends a lot of time taking care of his daughter, but Sister Hong thinks it is a waste of time and does not make good money; Brother Duan has a gentle personality and is not good at words, but Sister Hong thinks it is cowardly and incompetent; Brother Duan likes to After finishing all the family affairs, she read books and practiced calligraphy. Sister Hong thought it was meaningless and a waste of time. There is no intersection between them, and they each do their own things, just like the popular saying nowadays, "a couple who work together."
Later, they divorced. The eldest daughter was 14 years old and the younger daughter was 8 years old. The elder sister belongs to the mother, and the younger sister belongs to the father. There was no connection after that.
This is the story of my parents. I am the eldest daughter. I remarried with my mother and now live alone in a foreign country.
I know very well how uncomfortable it is for people with different views to live together, because my mother and I are the same way. They would quarrel because of different ideas and blame me for many small things.
Different outlooks do not mean different interests and hobbies, nor do they mean different living habits, but differences in thoughts, attitudes towards things, etc. For example, there was a very interesting piece of copywriting some time ago, "I like the sea" and "People have died there", but the other party could not understand the feelings I wanted to express.
The three views are different. No matter how hard we try, we cannot answer it, and we cannot find a way to solve it. There is no need to work hard to change or accommodate, because they are not on the same channel at all, and the frequency is different. How to communicate?
My mother asked me to find a good match, and I got angry on the spot. I said to her: "A good match can save me a few years of hard work, but I value a good match spiritually." It’s not easy in the first place, so don’t inflict pain on yourself.”
My father said to me: “Get married a few years later, not so early. You have to work harder now, be more independent, and find someone of equal strength. A like-minded person can be a lover, a mentor, and a helpful friend, so that the rest of his life will be happier."
For many people, living alone is not difficult and economical. Being independent, it is so important to find a like-minded person. We can do a lot of things together, talk a lot, and promote each other's growth. Often like-minded people will inspire new skills in each other. This is not forced, but unconscious.
From ancient times to the present, people have yearned for a plain life; yearned for firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, tea, music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and hops; yearned for two people in a house with three meals for four seasons, and four seasons and three hours for two people to live a lifetime; yearned for open eyes and is You, it’s you when I close my eyes; I long for you at dusk and you at dawn.
I like to go for a walk after dinner, because when I go to the square, I can see many uncles and aunts, side by side, walking at the same pace, chatting while walking, and having a life of ups and downs, next to them they are still the same old people. That person is so happy and lucky.
"Find someone who has the same goals, knows the interests, shares the joys and sorrows, and never forgets the original intention." I hope you will go through thousands of sailings and finally meet a like-minded person and spend the rest of your life.