There is a big pattern of mentality, which is a very philosophical statement. I often hear such a sentence: mentality determines the pattern, and the pattern determines life! If people don't have a pattern, what they see is trivial. Therefore, there is indeed a big pattern of mentality.
How big is the pattern of mentality? 1
Some people say: "The pattern is actually determined by ourselves. When you really start doing something, you will know that there is no direction and no boundary. You are just a duckweed wandering in the torrent of time, drifting with the tide. "
The world is the ocean, and we are duckweed and waves. If you can't enlarge your body, then you can enlarge your heart. The stronger your heart is, the more open your mind will be, and the bigger your pattern will be. Only people with a big picture can achieve great things.
"Mind determines fate". If you want to change your destiny, you must start by changing your mentality. People who are in a bad mood will not succeed. People who really have a big picture have the following mentality.
1, "don't change others" mentality, respect others' ideas.
Recently, many old people in the community have gone to universities for the aged. Let's get together, dance, sing, learn calligraphy, play the piano and organize some meaningful love activities. I encourage my mother to participate. Anyway, the tuition is not expensive, only a few hundred dollars a year. Mother refused: "I am a farmer. I haven't studied for a few days in my life. There is no need to go to college now. "
At first I thought my mother was too stubborn. If she does nothing at home every day and doesn't go to the university for the aged, she will really get sick. But later, I learned that my mother is my mother, not someone else's mother. Her thoughts don't have to be exactly the same as others, nor do her words and deeds. If my mother goes to the university for the aged and dances and sings every day, it will not be my mother, and she will be assimilated by the people around her.
Everyone is unique. Why live to be someone else? The people around you are different from you. You just can't get used to it. Talking every day will only produce contradictions and will not really change. When you want to change others, you have entered a dead end of "interpersonal relationship" and will look down on anyone.
Everyone's experience is different, and forcibly changing others is actually the stupidest idea. People who really have a big picture don't want to change others, but respect their ideas; I don't think others are not pleasing to the eye, but I think others are pleasing to the eye You really don't have to disturb your eyes and your heart because of what others say and do.
2. the mentality of "tolerating yourself" will not pursue perfection.
When you forgive others, your mood will be much better. If you can forgive yourself, you will feel better. No one is perfect, and there are many shortcomings, even more than advantages.
A person, always pursuing perfection, will become more and more imperfect, because you will become more and more unhappy when you look at yourself. For example, when you go to morning exercise in the morning, you find that everyone around you looks healthy and walks like a fly, while you look bad and run slowly, so you give up on yourself and force yourself to speed up. You run faster and faster, but you are more and more unhappy and your face is more and more ugly.
A truly perfect person is because he looks down on imperfection; Take your bad side as a habit. Your shortcomings are "harmless" if they do not harm the world or infringe on others. For example, you like to stay up late, knowing that staying up late is harmful to your health, but going to bed too early will make you unable to sleep. Then you should stay up late, as long as you are used to this lifestyle.
People with a big pattern will not only tolerate others, but also tolerate themselves. Being a broad-minded person can accept everything in the world and everything that cannot be changed. Many times, it is much easier to accept than to change, but many people just don't want to accept the truth.
3, the mentality of "silence is golden", I would rather not talk, nor talk nonsense.
Zhai said: "The orientation of life should be high, and the pattern should not be high. If you can't say elegance, you can't be a big deal. " A man with a big pattern either speaks elegant words or doesn't speak. Less talk is better than more talk. Keep your mouth shut and stay out of trouble.
Silent people don't pretend to be deep, but learn to observe carefully, observe everything around them attentively, see through, but don't say through. Everything is under control, no matter how chaotic the society is, I have a clear idea. Just like Mr. Feng Zikai said-don't be confused, don't fall in love. Not afraid of the future, not thinking about the past.
A person, the bigger the pattern, the less he likes to talk big and cry roast meat. Speaking is instinct, not ability, and silence is wisdom. If you always talk loudly, you will be bored, expose everything about yourself and give others an opportunity. A person is always eager to express his "high opinion" because he can't hold anything in his heart and can't calm down and think.
4, "roll with the punches" mentality, no matter in adversity or prosperity, will not lose a good mood.
Life is a reverse journey, and we often wish others "bon voyage and smooth sailing", which is just a blessing and cannot be taken too seriously. You go with the wind, and those who go against the wind go against the wind. If both directions are downwind, then you are "embarrassed" about the freedom of the wind.
Whether a person is in prosperity or adversity is relative, not absolute. For example, if you lose a pen today, you will be very unhappy and even spend the whole day looking for it, which will delay your time and make you emotional. Smart people don't look for a pen, but buy a pen and get into work quickly. Maybe the lost pen will suddenly appear one day in the future.
There is nothing important in life, and all problems will be solved. The key is what mentality you use to "solve the problem". Some difficult problems are difficult. If you must get the answer at once, you will be annoyed. You know, many difficult problems need to be solved all your life, so you really shouldn't "rush for success".
5, "don't want to fit in" mentality, without the right friends, you will be very lonely.
If you don't belong to your circle, don't force it. "A twisted melon is not sweet", useless social interaction is not as good as being alone. The fewer circles you join in your life, the more time you have. Don't waste all your time on others, you should spend some time thinking about life and examining yourself.
In fact, the circle you join is a portrayal of your life; The friends you make are subtly changing you; Your position determines how big your circle is. If you don't join any circles, it doesn't matter, because you are you, unique you, special you.
When you become an excellent person, you will be rejected by others and become an "isolated" person. If you are good enough, others will curry favor with you and make you look like "the stars are holding the moon". If you have a big picture, you won't care about "whether anyone is buttering up." The road of life, past, present and future, has come step by step on our own.
There is a word called "eclectic". The trivial things in life are often a "circle", which limits your thinking and pattern. You need to break this "circle" and jump out of the circle to see the circle in order to live more freely.
How big is the pattern of mentality? 2
I remember a classic saying:
Looking down from the eightieth floor, it is all beautiful; But if you look down from the second floor, it may be all rubbish. If a person has no height, he will see all problems; If people don't have a pattern, what they see is trivial.
Mentality determines the pattern, and the pattern determines life!
A man told me that when he fell in love before, it was because his pattern was too small, and he often suspected and doubted each other. The two sides always quarreled over a little thing. Looking back now, he realized how naive he was and even lost a good partner.
In life, you always need to experience something to understand the importance of cherishing. But people can't live in the past, and people still have to look forward.
It is also a mode in which a person can re-examine himself and then correct some of his mistakes.
A good attitude can guide a good pattern, and a pattern can determine the height of life.
There is a saying in "Caigen Tan": "When is the length of the stone fire? On the horn of a snail, it is more female than male. What is the universe? "
Life is like the flash when an iron object hits a stone. If you only know how to fight each other blindly, you won't know that time has passed. Life is short, and the living space is as small as a snail's tentacles. How can we be competitive in such a small world?
Life is just a drop in the ocean. Forgiving others means forgiving yourself, facilitating others means facilitating yourself, and crossing others means crossing yourself.
What is the pattern? It is how you look at the world and yourself, a person's vision of seeing things and his mind of handling things, and a person's mind.
What will it be like to live a model life?
People with patterns are not proud when they are proud of life, and are not discouraged when they are frustrated. They laugh at the ups and downs of the world and are optimistic about the ups and downs of life. This is the pattern.
There is a man who is one of the best teenagers in his life. Originally, he had high officials and rich people, but he experienced twists and turns in middle age. Not only was he separated from his family, but his life was also drifting from place to place.
Even in the middle of nowhere, he always cared about the court and the people, and he lived stronger than anyone else.
This man is Su Shi. After being demoted several times, he has long been relieved, so he has to eat everywhere. Even if the official career is not smooth, you can't be in a bad mood. Just give yourself a chance to travel around, where to feel the local customs, and then find local food to please yourself.
Therefore, he is open-minded and can't ruin himself because his career is not smooth. People who can think like this can see that the pattern is really good.
Su Shi is not only a poet, but also a gourmet. His poems are famous all over the world, and his delicious food has been passed down to this day.
Although his official career went through hardships and was demoted many times, he did not fall down because of frustration. No matter how depraved, I live more smartly than others.
Everywhere he went, he made friends with the people, did his duty for the people and made commendable achievements.
No matter how many setbacks he experienced in his life, he always faced all this with a calm, natural and unrestrained and broad-minded attitude, and his life was like a breeze. Although he suffered a lot, he never lost his childlike innocence.
Why not take your time singing and walking? Bamboo shoes are lighter than horses, and a misty rain will last a lifetime. Su Shi is calm and easy. He didn't make fun of his embarrassed colleagues, nor did he express his joy that it was sunny after the rain. He just said, "No rain is sunny." On the contrary, I feel that the rain is accidental, and even those who travel with me may not necessarily fall on anyone. On the contrary, it is an encounter and the joy of life.
In the suffering of life, everyone is constantly pursuing the beautiful scenery that will appear in the future, but after the arrival of the beautiful scenery, it becomes a kind of suffering, and this cycle is endless.
Only people with good mentality and good pattern can achieve immortal life.
Zeng Guofan often warned himself in one sentence: "When you are prosperous, you often think about its decline. When you are on stage, you should also think about its decline."
He believes that people with patterns should have a low-key heart. No matter how great their achievements are or how high their official positions are, they should keep a low profile, don't show off, and be low-key people in order to maintain their nature and make life more stable and farther.
In life, how many people, with a little achievement, gradually drift away, without a little reserve, so that they will soon return what they have got.
In life, we should not only correct our mentality, but also practice our own life pattern and world pattern, and how far people can go.
People who have a pattern should have a far-sighted vision, don't be complacent because of temporary complacency, and don't give up escaping because of temporary frustration. If you are ambitious, you can stand the temptation, see the gains and losses clearly, and have everything afterwards.
The sea is wide and the fish jumps, and the sky is high and birds fly. The sea-sky pattern is large and integrated into the world. Life is high, and you can show full feathers. If you are open-minded, you can seek the overall situation.
Mentality determines the pattern, and the pattern determines life. The bigger the pattern of life, the more ambitious you are.