when I went, I took my girlfriend with me, full of ideals and ambitions.
when I came back, I brought nothing back except a suitcase full of dirty clothes.
before I left, looking at the crowded sea of people at the Capital Airport, I suddenly felt how difficult it was to live!
In the past two years, I've been like a shrimp drifting in the deep sea, always trying to swim to the place with the densest fish, and then I was beaten dizzy and bruised all over in the muddy waves.
I want to go home, go home and help my widowed uncle sell his shroud online.
This is a year. In one year, I learned how to listen, how to face the passing, and how to live well.
I applied for my uncle's shroud Taobao shop two years ago, but my uncle's turnover in two years was not as good as my sales in one month, and then the shroud Taobao shop was completely entrusted to me by my uncle's bus.
Before taking over the Taobao shop, my uncle lying in his hospital bed smoked an old-fashioned hookah and said to me, "You have to be patient and listen to their stories."
So in one year, I sold 367 pieces of shroud on Taobao and listened to the stories of 367 families. These stories are life and death parting, and they are the most important things in this world.
you should understand that there is nothing important in this world except life and death.
1
The first guest I met was a woman who had lost her son.
Ms. Wang logged in with her 15-year-old son's Taobao account, so every time she talked to me, the non-mainstream avatar named King's Landing kept shaking.
This is my first time selling shroud, so I was very nervous all the time. I could only listen to the lady talking about her son who had left me.
what's the name of the deceased? Just call him Xiaojun.
a teenager at the best age, for the sake of brotherhood, followed the debt collector to ask for money.
In adults' eyes, this is just a matter between children, and Xiaojun thought it was just a negotiation before leaving. However, in the cold winter, it is more than a dozen hooligans who carry steel bars.
The consequence of a negotiation turning into a desperate pursuit is that Xiaojun plunged into the river in the cold winter, and then was entangled in his legs by abandoned fishing nets, exhausted and drowned.
I can feel through the computer screen that a divorced single mother is crying at the computer in her son's room.
"I can't sleep all night when I think of him desperately struggling in the frozen river." There is remorse and helplessness between the lines of the lost mother, and this first business makes me seem to be under heavy pressure.
"I had a dream yesterday, in which my son stood in front of me all wet, crying and saying that he was cold and wanted to go home." One by one, the words are like an inch-by-inch chance to live, which drives me out of breath.
"I've made up my mind to wait for the court's trial result. I'm going to take my son back from the ice coffin in the funeral home. I know he must be wrong. I know my son must miss me ... "
With this, the widowed mother sent a smiling expression:" I want to buy him a suit, preferably with sunglasses and a hat. Just like Chow Yun Fat, the gambler, I know he always wants to be a hero. "
"what model?" I asked patiently.
"He usually wears size L."
"Then buy XXL size." Most of those drowning people have swollen bellies. I can't imagine Xiaojun's appearance, so I can only recommend two sizes of shroud according to the rules.
"Good ..." The widowed mother readily submitted the order, but not long after, she suddenly sent a message.
"Do you think he blames me?"
after a moment's silence, I replied, "He wanted to see you again before he left this world, so he gave you a dream because he knew you were the one who loved him the most in the world. He said that he was going to leave with dignity in the suit his mother bought, and he would only be his mother's hero in his next life. "
"thank you." This unruly non-mainstream account faded and never lit up again.
2
The second story comes from a cancer family member.
at that time, I was gradually familiar with the process, and even if I was dealing with life and death every day, I could be calm. After all, everything is common in the end.
But after I met Lao Zhou, I realized how profound and broad the word life and death is. Life and death can never be understood.
It was the middle of 216, and Lao Zhou came to my Taobao shop. He wanted to buy a shroud for his wife and prepare one for himself.
I want the best top-ranked gown, the best crested gown.
Lao Zhou and his wife are busy buyers and sellers in small counties in central China.
Like most ordinary people in this world, they are trying to live every day.
In the early morning, Lao Zhou and his wife got up to prepare breakfast. Late at night, Lao Zhou and his wife can't go to sleep until they finish collecting the mess.
It's such a ten-square-meter stall that helped the Zhou family provide two famous college students.
Seeing that everything was getting better, Lao Zhou suddenly found that his wife who had been with him for forty years suddenly lost weight quickly. Before he could react, the hospital diagnosis certificate had been sent to him.
pancreatic cancer complicated with multiple organ metastasis. In other words, it is terminal cancer.
Lao Zhou is as calm as telling other people's stories. He is so sad that he is silent.
During a month in the hospital, Lao Zhou, who stayed with her bed, always woke up from a ward full of despair in the middle of the night, and gathered around her skinny wife, covering her mouth with tears by the faint light projected from the shutters, and looked at her lover carefully over and over again.
even a wrinkle, a gray hair and a breath. Lao Zhou knew that time was taking away the woman who had been with him for half his life. He wanted to carve every detail of this woman into his heart and bone.
"I sometimes think, why so bitter? Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, so I shouldn't fight like this ... "
I wonder what kind of person Lao Zhou is. He should have dark skin, short gray hair and a wrinkled face, just like every middle-aged man, with parents who have gradually lost their labor force and children who haven't made money to solve their food and clothing problems.
"I am worthy of my parents and children in my life, but I am sorry for my wife who followed me at the age of 22 and never had a good life for a day."
I typed for a long time, but I deleted it all after all.
bystanders never know the pain.
"When we get married here, we all have to wear the No.1 scholar's dress, a crest and a gown. While my wife is in good spirits, I want to make up for her wedding, just the wedding of the two of us. "
It took Lao Zhou a long time to send a message: "I want the best crest and gown, and the best number one dress. She has no eyesight, and when she goes underground in the future, she won't recognize me without wearing this dress. "
Lao Zhou gave a smiling expression and never spoke again.
half a month after the shroud was sent out, Lao Zhou gave me five-star praise and added a comment.
"She said this dress is beautiful. Thank you for giving her a decent departure."
3
By the end of the year, it was the busiest time for the shroud Taobao shop, but I temporarily closed down from the middle of the twelfth lunar month.
Because my uncle's illness is getting worse and worse, just like a withered lotus leaf arched in a frozen pond in winter, no matter how hard it struggles, it will slowly decay in the cold.
My uncle in the hospital bed has been relieved. He even looked through the sample shroud magazine I brought back to choose a good one for himself.
"this is it."
I followed my uncle's finger. It was a military uniform with the style of the Republic of China, white gloves, knee-high black boots and a dark blue uniform.
I just remembered the story passed down from my parents' generation, the story about my uncle.
My uncle was arrested when he was young. In the turbulent era of war, my uncle fell in love with a girl among the refugees.
But those days were cruel. It was a luxury to have a hot meal alive, let alone love.
"It's normal to die in wartime. Where can you live a happy life without sacrifice?"
When I dared to ask about it, my uncle rubbed his hands and said lightly, "It's all old things ..."
I knew my uncle didn't want to say anything more, so I could only hear some sporadic stories from my parents.
The girl's name is Momo. She followed her uncle around four provinces and finally died in the Japanese bombing in Chongqing.
there was a war at that time! Uncle and Momo tacitly didn't discover each other's relationship, but one was fighting devils at the front with a gun, and the other followed uncle everywhere among the refugees.
When I wanted to hear more stories about my uncle, my uncle, who was originally in high spirits, suddenly failed after taking photos in military uniform.
The man who has been fighting against loneliness all his life begins to talk nonsense. From time to time, he stretches out his dry hands and waves them at the air in front of him, as if grasping at something, but they always fail.
"Momo ... Momo ... Momo ..."
At dusk and sunset, my uncle curled up, wearing a military uniform that he didn't want to take off from the moment he put it on.
His voice is very light, so light that it is like whispering and full of tenderness.
It's like going back to the days of war. The young soldier took advantage of no one in the middle of the night and quietly walked into the secret valley agreed by the day. By the moonlight, he shouted softly to the girl with a sallow face and messy ponytails in the distance.
"Momo ... Momo ... Momo ..."
4
After my uncle died, I closed the shroud Taobao shop.
In this year, I sold 367 pieces of shroud and listened to 367 stories about life and death.
every story is small, and every story is big.
I was so confused that I didn't know how to survive, but now I want to live a good life.
, invasion and deletion.